


All the kids are depressed

by queermicah



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergent post war, Drinking, F/M, Gay Theodore Nott, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Pansy Parkinson, M/M, Minor Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, So much angst, bi harry potter, low key a song fic, self-harm mentions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-01-22 22:04:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 61,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21309352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queermicah/pseuds/queermicah
Summary: A fic inspired by the song all the kids are depressed by Jeremy Zucker. Post-war 8th year at Hogwarts and our favourite gang of misfits are trying to navigate PTSD, depression, anxiety and finding themselves in a broken world where help isn’t as accessible as in the muggle world. Gonna be a fun time.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott/Harry Potter
Comments: 189
Kudos: 128





	1. You'll be okay, you're a Malfoy

_Cause all the kids are depressed, nothing ever makes sense_

_I'm not feeling alright, staying up 'til sunrise_

_And hoping shit is okay, pretending we know things_

_I don't know what happened, my natural reaction is that we're scared_

_So I guess we're scared_

*******

**Draco**

Draco sat perched on the side of his bed, surveying the half empty trunk he had placed there hours before. He had woken from a broken sleep at 4am and groggily remembering that he was leaving for Hogwarts later that morning and could not procrastinate the inevitable any longer he had pulled his trunk from under his bed to begin packing. Yet as it approached 6.30am he had done nothing more than shove a couple of pairs of pants and robes into the case.

Draco sighed heavily and rose from his spot to begin gathering some more of his clothes, his heart really wasn’t in it. It wasn’t as if it had been his idea to go back to Hogwarts for the eighth year offered for those who’s education had been affected by the war, it was a condition of his freedom. He’d escaped joining his father in Azkaban by virtue of Potter’s testimony at his hearing but he had been placed on probation and part of that was to attend Hogwarts for his final year to get his NEWTs and secure a job, to stay out of trouble.

Running a lithe hand through his hair Draco yawned and threw a few more miscellaneous things into his trunk, not bothering to fold anything, he didn’t care anymore. Gone forever was his youthful excitement for Hogwarts. He missed with an ache in his chest the way he used to pack a week in advance when was eleven and twelve. When his name meant something. The war had ruined his family, it was their own fault of course siding the way that they did, but nevertheless the reparations had taken its toll on the Malfoy fortune and the name was nothing more than a dirty whisper.

Trying not to slam the lid down on his trunk, Draco flopped back onto his bed and stared at the ceiling of his room. They had managed to hold onto Malfoy Manor, purely because no one had wanted to touch it after _he_ had made it his headquarters. He couldn’t blame them; Draco no longer roamed the house himself. There were many rooms that he avoided due to the flashbacks and panic attacks they caused. He had spent most of his summer, with the exception of Ministry summons, in his room staring at the ceiling like he was doing now. Mother, who herself had managed to miss Azkaban thanks to lying for Potter during the war, had been trying her best to get him out of his room and do something begin to rebuild the family name but had long since given up when they had dissolved into argument once again. Draco thought it hopeless, he knew how people saw the Malfoy’s now, he didn’t need to read the Prophet to know that. Regardless a small nugget of hope sat in his chest, that if he kept his head down, kept out of trouble, that he could get through this probation and fade into obscurity. This hope was the only thing keeping him from breaking probation and disappearing for good.

Eyes flicking to the clock Draco realised that he’d been staring off into space for several hours, it was almost 9am. They were going to have to leave soon for the train station, a Ministry escort was supposed to be at the house at 10 to take them. A quite knock on the door broke through his thoughts and he heaved himself up to push aside the bureau that he had shoved in front of the door during one of recent arguments with his Mother. Opening the door, he was met with said women who looked up at him with a small smile.

“All packed?” she whispered trying to look around him.

Draco nodded silently still blocking the door frame.

Narcissa reached out to place a small hand on his arm and Draco found himself leaning away from the touch, a small sigh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand again, “Come down and have something to eat before _they_ arrive.”

Draco nodded stiffly, though having no appetite but too tired to argue and turned to grab his trunk from his bed flinching slightly as the end hit the ground from the momentum. Dragging it with him he followed his Mother downstairs to the kitchen, passing the closed door of the dining room. They no longer could bring themselves to eat in there, Draco swallowed bile at the image of Professor Burbage that flashed through his mind, instead they had moved into the kitchen as it was one of the few untainted rooms in the Manor. Setting his case by the door he lowered himself onto a chair at the makeshift dining table Narcissa had scrounged together, while they couldn’t afford to throw money around on furniture like they once could she had swallowed her pride long enough to acquire a second hand table and chairs. It showed, the wood was not dark like the rest of the house, but a warm chestnut and the chairs didn’t match. A fact that a year ago would have appalled Narcissa. She had really tried this morning to appear put together as a vase of her prized gardenias sat in the centre of the table along side two cups of coffee and some toast.

Picking up the coffee Draco took a sip, feeling the hot liquid burn his tongue slightly. He’d been existing almost purely on coffee lately. Food tasting like ashes in his mouth and it showed, his skin was still the pallid grey it had been during his most stressed days of his sixth year and while always being slender was beginning to border on sickly. Pair that with the black ring around his eyes and the once classically handsome Draco Malfoy was merely a shadow of his former self.

Narcissa sat down to his right and pushed the plate of toast towards him a pleading look in her eye.

Setting the cup down Draco sighed and gingerly picked up a piece toast off the plate. He really wasn’t hungry but didn’t want to end up in another argument over this, nibbling at a corner to appease her.

Satisfied Narcissa took a bite of her own toast before washing it down with her own coffee. “The Ministry will be here within the hour,” she reminded him as he continued to nibble at the toast, “this is your chance Draco, I know you’re not thrilled about going back but now is your time to try and change people’s perspective of us.” She continued eyeing him carefully.

Draco bit back the sour laugh that was threatening to escape him and instead nodded dutifully and placed down the toast to take another swig of coffee.

“We were given a second chance to make things right,” Narcissa was talking more to herself now than Draco, and he had heard this all before like she was trying to convince herself by repeating it enough, “try get good marks, stay out of trouble and-” she paused slightly and Draco met her blue eyes with his grey, “make some friends?”

Draco couldn’t stop the soft snort at that one, he knew what she was implying, and it certainly wasn’t about his current friendships with Theo, Pansy and Blaise. They too were returning to Hogwarts for the year, Theo and Blaise had never officially picked a side though with Theo’s fathers’ allegiance he had been put on probation too along side Pansy who after trying to sell out Potter was being closely monitored. He knew his mother was insinuating that he try to broaden his horizons and make friends outside of the house and portray a better image for the family, though he knew that would be far easier said than done.

He took another sip of his drink, it now going cold, “Yes Mother.” He muttered as the sound of the alarm on the wards went off. The Ministry was here.

Rising from his seat Draco threw back the last of the lukewarm coffee and ran a hand threw his hair, a habit he had picked up at some point and followed Narcissa to the door. Head Auror John Dawlish, Draco still couldn’t believe that he had made it through the Ministry overhaul relatively unscathed and had been appointed the head auror, and another unrecognisable male auror were standing at the doorstep of the Manor looking stern if not slightly disgusted about the arrangement.

Dawlish glanced at his watch impatiently, “It’s time we head off.” He muttered glancing to his colleague, “Dorian will escort you Ms Malfoy,” said to Narcissa indicating to the other man, “and I will be escorting Draco.” Without another word he turned on his heel and began back down the path towards the apparition point, beckoning them to follow.

Draco pulled his trunk behind him as, in silence they walked down the sloping path. It was a cold morning and the crunching gravel under their feet was the only sound. He let his eyes sweep the grounds of the Manor, gone were the white peacocks that used to roam the lawns. They were his fathers and Narcissa had made sure they were the first to go. While still married Narcissa and Lucius were very much separated. Narcissa had made a case for herself that she was following her husband out of fear and to protect her son and while it could be argued it was simply to save face Draco knew that his Mother had been blinded by love and by the time things had escalated before the war it was too late.

Reaching the end of the path at the bottom of the grounds, where they could apparate, Narcissa placed a hand on a grimacing Dorian, and Draco on Dawlish and they disappeared.

Draco’s stomach lurched as he landed at platform 9 and 3/4s, he still hated side-along apparition. Looking around he was overwhelmed by wall of noise that hit him, having spent most of the summer in almost complete silence the sound of children laughing and shouting around him was grating. He set his jaw trying not to show his discomfort. Silently he walked away from his mother for a moment to load his trunk before returning to her side as Dawlish and Dorian loitered behind them covertly keeping an eye on them.

Narcissa looked up at him with a somewhat forced smile and opened her arms for a hug.

Draco having avoided all her previous attempts at contact allowed himself to be pulled into a tight hug, “You’ll be fine, you’re-” she whispered to him cutting herself off before she had finished. He knew what would have come next, the _‘you’re a Malfoy’ _hung in the air between them, a reminder of years past.

Releasing her he nodded and trying to ignore the stares and whispers he boarded the Hogwarts Express and shut himself in an empty carriage. It was going to be a long year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Customary this is my first fic mention so please any comments and criticism is very much appreciated. This fic will hopefully be updated weekly.  
Song lyrics are from: All the kids are depressed by Jeremy Zucker.


	2. We're right behind you Harry

_I think too much, we drink too much, falling apart like it's just nothing_

_I want to know where do we go, when nothing's wrong_

***

**Harry**

Harry tried to ignore all the eyes on him as he walked towards the Hogwarts Express along side Hermione, Ron and Ginny. While he had gotten used to it over the years the intensity had ramped up considerably since the war, it was becoming stifling. He could barely sneeze without it being reported in the Prophet. Thus, apart from testifying on Ministry cases he had been a recluse at the Burrow, trying to stay out of the limelight as much as was possible for the dubbed ‘saviour.’ The title still didn’t sit well with Harry, he couldn’t reconcile it with the suffering and death that he had been surrounded with and by extension caused during the war.

Ginny’s small warm hand linked with his and he looked down at her with a small smile. They had been tentatively taking things slow since the war, not wanting to use each other as just emotional support. They were both still vulnerable, Fred’s death hung over the lot of them like a dark cloud as did Lupin and Tonks’. Ginny gently pulled him towards the train as Harry let his eyes quickly sweep the platform, his green eyes settling briefly on the tall blond at the other end. Malfoy looked just as, if not more as uncomfortable as Harry did.

Harry hadn’t seen Malfoy since the trial where he testified on behalf of him. It was a move that the Prophet had fixated on for weeks after the probation was handed down to not only Malfoy but Parkinson and Nott as well. The Gryffindor stood by what he had said at the trial; they were kids brought up in bigotry and hatred, what were they supposed to do? Had they had the chance he was sure that they would have made different choices. I didn’t mean that he had completely forgiven what they had done but Harry believed in second chances.

Taking another look at Malfoy as he stepped into the carriage, he couldn’t help but notice he looked almost ill, unbearably thin, pale and withdrawn. Nothing at all like the pompous arse he was used to seeing. He almost felt sorry for the blond he was under just as much scrutiny as the Harry was and if Molly hadn’t been feeding him to bursting every day, he was sure that they would have matched in appearances.

Harry had spent the majority of his summer beating off owls requesting interviews, Rita Skeeter in particular was still hounding him for an exclusive and was not at all put off when Ginny had taken it upon herself to send her a box full of dragon dung in response to a especially demanding letter. He wasn’t interested in taking any of the offers nor the book deal that had been presented to him. He wanted nothing more than to have a break, to feel normal, whatever that meant. He dropped into a seat in the compartment Ron had found and ran a hand over his face, throwing his head back. Normal? What did that even entail? Harry had never had a normal year in his life and now he was supposed to figure out the rest of his life? Having not accounted for living past the war he was completely lost for what to do next. His original plan was to be an auror and he had been offered to skip the eighth year of Hogwarts to start the training outright but had decided against it. The war had changed him, it had changed everyone, but he’d had enough of chasing the bad guys and wanted something with less of a less of a life or death vibe.

Hermione shook him out of his thoughts by speaking, “Do you think it’s going to be okay going back?” she half-whispered.

Harry’s head snapped forward to look at her, he was only a little surprised to hear this from her, while she was the keenest to return to finish her studies, he also knew she wasn’t coping as well as she’d like to say she was.

Ron shrugged a slung an arm around her shoulders, she flinched before settling against him. Their rhythm since their war time kiss was still a little off, and Ron still didn’t appear to be able to read Hermione’s cues as well as he’d care to admit.

“It’s going to be different, that’s for sure.” Ginny stated her face like stone.

Harry nodded in agreement, going back to a place where so many of his friends had died was certainly going to be _‘different.’ _ But he also knew that the wizarding world was going to be watching and that he needed to appear like he was fine.

“We’ve faced worse,” he joked weakly, his voice cracking slightly as he said it, “We’ll be fine.”

Ron nodded with a grin that Harry noted didn’t reach his eyes, “How hard can it be?”

Harry didn't answer opting instead to look out the window at the countryside passing by and allowed Ginny to pull her feet off the floor and stretch them out on the seat, leaning against his chest as she fished out a copy of the Quibbler to flick through. She’d been the one to keep up on what was being reported about him over summer. She had been careful to tell him only what he needed to know, things that would affect the trials, rather than the screeds of gossip that he was sure they were printing.

“Anything interesting?” He asked her quietly.

Ginny gave a noncommittal shrug flipping the pages, “Not really, the Quibbler isn’t obsessed by your every waking moment like the Prophet or Witch Weekly.”

Harry laughed, “Guess we have Luna to thank for that.” Luna had sent him a sweet note several weeks ago stating that she’d make sure that her father didn’t print anything about him without his permission. He’d resisted the urge to send her a letter in return proposing to her and instead agreed to meet up with her to feed the thestrals once they were back at school. “What’s the Prophet’s latest spin?” he asked not sure he wanted to know the answer.

“Same shit, different day really,” she answered with a shrug turning the Quibbler upside down to read what appeared to be an answer key to a quiz, “That you’ve been brainwashed by Malfoy to support him and that’s the reason you’re deserting being an auror.”

Harry snorted shaking his head in disbelief.

“Witch Weekly is actually running a poll asking if you’re brainwashed or secretly in a romantic affair with him, since those are apparently the only two options.” She added with a giggle.

Harry’s mouth dropped open as Ron and Hermione glanced at each other and began snickering themselves, “You’re not serious?” he asked weakly, running a hand through his already unruly hair, “Like I’d ever…” he muttered as Ron started laughing outright by his reaction punctuated by further muttering from Harry that sounded something like: _‘ferret-faced…arsehole…’_

Hermione trying to get her own laughter under control wiped a tear from her eye, “I don’t know Harry, I saw the photos of you guys staring longingly over the court room.” The corners of her mouth twitching.

Harry threw his head back with a loud groan.

“We all know I’m just a cover Harry.” Ginny added looking back at him with a wink.

Harry threw his hands up, “I hate the lot of you!” he cried, trying to be mad at them but failing spectacularly as he grinned back, it was rare for them to share a laugh these days so he was going to take the opportunity with both hands. “You’ll be laughing on the other side of your face when I marry him!” he sniggered before pressing a kiss to the top of Ginny’s head.

“I’d pay to see that wedding!” Hermione taunted as she dissolved once more into giggles.

They were still laughing between gasps of Harry and Malfoy’s ridiculous fantasy love affair as they pulled up to Hogsmeade Station hours later. _‘Maybe it was going to be okay this year after all_’ Harry thought to himself as the piled off and walked hand in hand with Ginny to the carriages. Waiting to climb into the carriage after Hermione, Harry looked behind him and locked eyes with Malfoy who was standing sullenly with Theodore Nott, Blaise Zambini and Pansy Parkinson. The other three were conversing freely about something to which Malfoy was just nodding where appropriate, looking like his was willing the earth to swallow him whole. Harry felt his smile slide from his face and his mood sour slightly. Malfoy gave him a small nod and turned away to clamber into his own carriage. It was then that he caught the eye of Nott who gave him a lazy grin and a comically overly enthusiastic thumbs up. Harry smirked and flipped him off as the carriage he was in pulled away from the station.

Harry didn’t know what to think of Nott, he had never officially picked a side in the war and was simply on probation due to his father being a notorious Death Eater. They had never had many interactions previously as he wasn’t as close to Draco compared to the likes of Crabbe and Goyle had been. _Crabbe_… Harry blanched for a moment at the memory of the fiendfyre in the Room of Requirement. He quickly shook his head to push it from his mind. It wasn’t worth dwelling on such things right now, he was sure it would come back to haunt him in sleep later anyway as it often did.

As the carriage rumbled to a halt at the castle gates Harry took a deep breath before stepping off. Ron placed a hand on his shoulder, “We’re right behind you Harry.” He said simply as they walked towards the Great Hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said weekly updates but I'm chasing this story and procrastinating my last assessment for the year so here we are. Lyrics are once again: All the kids are depressed by Jeremy Zucker  
Also shout out to Srastrr for being the first person to give kudos and bookmark the story. Love you


	3. Create a sense of interhouse unity

_How long have you been smiling? It seems like it's been too long_

_Some days I don't feel like trying, so what the fuck are you on?_

***

**Hermione**

Walking into the Great Hall for the first time in over a year was a surreal experience, it looked identical to how it had when they were younger however there were less people seated at the tables. Whether from parents not feeling comfortable being sent back to a school that had been at the centre of the war or from the deceased students or both, Hermione wasn’t sure, but the sight knocked the wind out of her. She had been apprehensive about returning this year, she was still emotionally raw from being tortured in Malfoy Manor and between trials, funerals and heading back to Hogwarts she hadn’t even had the chance to investigate getting some kind of therapy. _‘Not that it would really work with the Statute of Secrecy anyway’ _she sighed quietly to herself. She wasn’t even sure if there was such an equivalent in the wizarding world, though if there was, she felt that it should have been offered to not only her but everyone who had suffered due to the war. She certainly wasn’t the only one who was suffering the lasting effects of being forced into war before even being an adult. And now being in a room that had housed the dead not that long ago was eerie, she tried to avoid looking at the spots where her friends had laid willing herself not to get too worked up.

Trying to keep her breathing even she took her seat next to Ron and across from Harry and Ginny. Ron and Hermione had yet to define what their relationship was. She knew Molly would love for them to fall into dating and marrying down the line but Hermione herself wasn’t sure what she wanted. They had shared a passionate kiss in the height of adrenaline when their life was a stake and it was the right move at the time but now, she wasn’t so sure. She loved Ron, of that much she was sure, but they were so different, they were still so vulnerable. Ron was still so fragile after losing Fred and she was raw from the fact that she knew that she couldn’t reverse the memory charms on her parents and that they were living a life in Australia with no memory of their only daughter. They were both looking for comfort but were so out of sync when it came to seeking it. Ron was physical, wanting to keep close to her, an arm around the shoulder, a tight a hug and kisses. Hermione respected this but she also felt crowded, the torture she went through had left her shying away from physical contact. She would rather talk and try and work a way through her feelings logically as she always did, but as she had joked many years ago sometimes Ron had the emotional range of a teaspoon. She knew that wasn’t fair to think, he was hurting just as much as she was, but he wasn’t able to express it like she could. So, they danced around each other, mumbling affirmations to one another every now and then with the odd kiss, not really going anywhere.

Hermione’s attention was drawn to Professor- er, Headmistress McGonagall as she approached the podium to speak to the school. Although trying to slip into her usual role of paying undivided attention to the Headmistress, she found her mind wandering.

“-despite the war drawing clear divisions between the houses and between families and friends, we must work to remedy this and create a sense of interhouse unity. We can only grow stronger by-”

***

**Theodore**

“-working together to overcome the prejudices that currently exist and-”

Theo had his cheek cupped in his hand, elbow on the table in front of him as he barely listened to McGonagall’s speech about interhouse unity. He had been expecting something like that from her and honestly wasn’t at all convinced. He completely understood why the school was pushing it, Slytherin as a house had been reduced to a martyr and knew that any of the first years sorted into it were bound to be targeted, but Theo really couldn’t see that a simple speech was going to change much of the publics perception.

Stretching his lanky arms behind him he arched his back trying to stretch the kinks out of it from sitting on the train for so long, he let his eyes wander to the enchanted ceiling taking in the clear night sky. If he was honest Theo was glad to be back, he’d been bored out of his tree back home, or rather the new modest house that he called home now that Nott Manor had been seized and sold by the Ministry for reparations. The Ministry thought it fit to punish him due to his monster of a father, despite wanting nothing to do with him and the Death Eaters. He couldn’t complain too much really, he wasn’t in Azkaban like his father and he was only on probation until the end of the year, he could cruise through that.

Looking back down at the table he glanced at Draco who was sitting to his right, his face set in typical Malfoy stoicism, “Oh yeah, I can totally see this interhouse unity working.” The brunette whispered to him sarcastically.

Draco cracked a small smirk but didn’t look at him.

Theo rolled his eyes; it was going to take a lot more than a quick joke to bring Draco out of his shell. Looking over to Gryffindor table he glanced at Potter who looked just as skeptical as himself at McGonagall’s words. Their eyes met briefly, and Theo couldn’t help himself to roll his eyes dramatically at the other boy, trying to convey his own incredulity at the speech. He thought Potter understood when he rolled his eyes back before looking away again.

He didn’t know why he kept making attempts at jokes with Potter, maybe it was his round about way to say thanks for speaking up for him at the Ministry trial. Regardless he did need to thank Potter for his efforts. He’d never picked a side, which he knew was typical Slytherin cowardice at it’s finest and he’d suffered enough at the hands of his fellow classmates for his indecision. He’d spent most of 6th year completely socially isolated from everyone apart from Blaise who like him didn’t pick a side. He’d suffered more at the hands of his father who like Lord Malfoy had wanted him to get his dark mark when he was 16, but had managed to avoid it by making excuses, lying through his teeth and avoiding trips home. He’d been forced to face the consequences for his decisions when his father finally caught up with him and made it abundantly clear how angry and disappointed he was with him for not subscribing to the tyranny of the Dark Lord and he still had the scars to prove it. But Potter had vouched for him, despite having fled before the war began hiding out with Blaise to not get sucked into the killing, he made his case that it was his father that was the Death Eater not him. It was easier to cast doubt than it had been with Draco as he didn’t carry the Dark Mark, but he could tell that the Ministry wanted to put him into a cell alongside his father.

Clapping politely at the conclusion of McGonagall’s speech Theo once again let his mind wander as the sorting began, it was a quieter affair than usual as those sorted into Slytherin looked mortified but the mere association to the house and the applause was certainly more subdued and scattered than years previous.

By the time dinner appeared before them Theo had almost lost his appetite, this was going to prove to be an interesting year indeed if this was state of the _‘interhouse unity’._

He nudged Draco who was still staring into space, “Eat.” He stated pushing a plate of potatoes closer to the blond.

Draco smirked, “You sound like my mother.” He said but didn’t make a move to eat anything.

“I’ll sound more like your mother if you don’t put some fucking food in your pompous face.” Theo retorted with a grin.

“How would you know what Draco’s mother sounds like?” drawled Blaise with a mischievous grin from opposite them, knowing exactly where Theo was going.

“I’ve spent enough nights with her to know exactly-”

He was cut off by Draco smacking him in the back of the head, “Don’t be so fucking disgusting!” he hissed, “Besides we all know you prefer cock.” He added finally putting some potatoes on his plate to Theo’s delight.

“Maybe she turned me?” he winked dodging another smack from his friend. Theo’s sexuality had never been a secret and was usually the butt of many a joke between the friends.

Pansy giggled from Theo’s left, “She turned me.”

“Can we please stop talking about my mother?!” Draco muttered “You want me to eat something right? I can’t do that when you’re making me sick to my stomach.”

Theo laughed and began eating, pleased to know that he could still rouse a reaction from Draco who had been almost completely silent throughout the entire trip to Hogwarts. He knew that the youngest Malfoy wasn’t thrilled to be back, especially with the lasting effects of the war still weighing on him but at least under all of it he still had the same Malfoy charm.

Theo smirked around a mouthful of bread and butter pudding, “You really think this interhouse unity thing is going to work?” he asked no one in particular.

Blaise shrugged, “I see what they’re going for but-”

“It’s empty words, right?!” Theo finished with a nod, “It’s not like our association with Slytherin is going help matters, we all know how the wider wizarding community feels about us.”

The group nodded, silent for a moment before Draco swallowed a large mouthful of pumpkin juice, “I guess it’s like mother said, it’s our chance to prove them wrong…”

“What like be friends with the Gryffindors and the Hufflepuffs?” Pansy asked with a grimace, “Come on Draco, darling I love you but like that’d ever happen.”

The blond shrugged, pushing the rest of his food around on his plate, “I don’t know but I know it’s going to be hard enough being here this year and maybe finding some allies wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

“Or it could make things worse?” Blaise prompted, “Look at how much the Prophet fixated on your trial Malfoy. They thought you’d imperiused Potter to have him testify.”

Theo sighed, he had to agree with Blaise there. The Prophet and the Ministry had spent weeks proving and reproving that Potter had been speaking of his own free will in support of them, he could only imagine what would be said if they suddenly tried to strike up friendships outside of Slytherin.

“I don’t know what to do.” He concluded finally, taking one last look over that the Gryffindor table to where Ron was shovelling food into his mouth like he’d been starving for 6 months and to Potter who looked just as confused as Theo felt. It was going to be interesting to see how things were going to play out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, I know I'm on a roll. Also my last assessment presented today so I'm done for the year and can completely focus my attention to this.  
Hope you're all enjoying it so far.  
Lyrics are: All the kids are depressed by Jeremy Zucker (new song next chapter I promise.)


	4. You have the emotional range of a teaspoon Ronald

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I lowkey am not the biggest Ron fan in the world at least in comparison to a lot of other characters so writing him here is a big challenge so bear with me but I feel the need to explain his perspective and emotional state and this chapter is really just to create some tension so it's probably a tad OOC

_I'll move back home forever, I'll feed the dogs, and I'll put all my pieces back together_

_Where they belong, and I'll say "I'm a mess, I'm a mess, oh God, I'm a mess"_

***

**Ron**

Feeling fit to bursting Ron walked with Harry, Hermione and Ginny into the Gryffindor common room, a hush fell over their fellow students as the looked around for a spot to sit down. A spot cleared for the group to take seats on the couches by the fireplace, fame certainly had its perks when it came to prime seating he noted. Ron flopped down on the couch opposite the fire opening his arms for Hermione to join him, and after a moment of hesitation she did. Settling back as she leaned against his shoulder, he draped his arm around her shoulder aimlessly drawing patterns on her arm with his fingers.

“Well we survived dinner!” he said with a small laugh.

Harry grinned back at him from the couch perpendicular to his where he was sitting with Ginny curled up at his side, “Yeah, certainly went smoother than I thought it would.”

Hermione shifted against him, “I found it hard…” she whispered avoiding their gaze and staring into the fire.

Ron tightened his arm around her shoulder, tucking her bushy hair under his chin. He knew that he should ask her what was wrong be he also felt that he knew the answer and wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it right now. Gritting his teeth to what he knew was going to be a difficult conversation he managed to choke out, “Why?”

She squirmed again, pulling away from him and looking down at her hands that she had clasped in her lap, “Being back in the Great Hall where-” she took a small shaky breath, “Fre- everyone was… and seeing everyone that was missing it just-” shrugging her shoulders she picked at the skin around her finger nails nervously, “hit me.”

Giving her a sidelong look Ron could tell that she was on the brink of tears and reached to put hand on her thigh. But even he could tell that the move was stiff. He was expecting this conversation to come up, but it didn’t make it any easier to deal with. He had been broken by Fred’s death, second only to George who felt as he’d lost half of himself. He’d always had a closeness to the twins and even though they had spent a lot of time tormenting him with pranks over the years he now viewed them in a different light. He had felt part of the Weasley spark had died along with him and the family was forever changed for its loss.

Dealing with his death was incredibly difficult for Ron, he was angry, so angry. Not at Harry, it would be easy to get angry at his friend for involving his family in the war by associating with them, but at you-know-who. He hated him for the pain and misery that he had caused him and his family. Hated him for the days where called out to gather the family for dinner and faltered at Fred’s name like he was still there. For glancing at the Weasley clock seeing Fred’s hand permanently stuck at _Lost_, knowing that it would never move in unison with George’s like it always had. For having to watch George withdraw, smashing his mirror and trying to charm his red hair away. He felt like his was losing both of them and it killed him.

Glancing at Ginny he noticed she was clenching her jaw she, like him, wasn’t one to freely express her emotions. A side affect of having six brothers he expected, they hadn’t made it easy on her. He swallowed thickly and took Hermione’s hand in his. He’d been clinging to her as much as she would let him. He wanted to hold on and not let go for fear of losing her like he had Fred, but she was distant, uncomfortable with his constant need for physical affection. He was trying to be as respectful of her boundaries, but he was desperate for an outlet. Perhaps he would head down to the quidditch pitch later to fly out his frustration?

“I know.” He said finally not knowing how else to respond.

Hermione’s brow furrowed, “That’s it? I know?!” she snapped.

Ron’s jaw dropped open as she snatched her hand back and stood up to face him. He glanced at Harry who shrugged slightly, trying desperately not to get involved.

“I’m trying to have a proper conversation about something we’ve been avoiding all summer and you say _I know?!_” she was openly crying now, her hands shaking at her sides. “I know you have the emotional range of a teaspoon Ronald, but I expected more from you tonight.” She spat.

Ron felt his ears burning, as he turned red. He was just as upset as her, he’d lost is brother. The school was just as full of ghosts for him as it was for her, probably even more so. “What the fuck?!” he felt his voice rising as he struggled to contain his temper, “I’m just as upset as you!”

“How would I know?” she cried, “You never fucking talk to me!” She turned on her heel stalking off to the girl’s dormitory.

Mouth gaping Ron dropped his head into his hands rubbing them over his face trying to stop the tears that were threatening to erupt.

Ginny sighed heavily and stood up, “I’ll go talk to her.” She muttered following Hermione up the stairs.

Harry rose from his seat to sit next to Ron on the couch. It was then that he realised that the room had become silent as all eyes were on them. Harry gave the room a pointed look and waiting until they had begun talking before the continued the conversation.

“What the fuck was that?” Ron asked gruffly looking up from his hands, trying to keep his voice low to avoid gaining the undivided attention of the room again.

Harry shrugged, “I guess Hermione wanted to talk about how she felt and got upset that you didn’t reciprocate?” he guessed, not entirely sure himself.

Ron frowned, “She knows how I feel though…” and quickly continued as Harry looked about ready to interrupt, “even if I don’t say it, it doesn’t give her the right to jump down my throat.”

Harry paused for a moment looking into the fire, “I mean she over reacted but maybe,” he looked for a way of phrasing the next sentence without setting Ron off again, “she’s tired of having to read how you feel and wanted you to talk?”

“But I don’t-”

“-do that. I know, but maybe you might have to try if you want to move forward?”

Ron exhaled heavily; he knew that Harry was probably right, but the frustration still lingered beneath the surface. Why did he have to explicitly say everything he was feeling? How was he supposed to cope with his loss if Hermione wanted him to keep bringing it up all the time?

“I guess I should apologise to her.” He muttered raking his hands through his red hair.

“Maybe wait until tomorrow when she’s calmed down?” Harry offered with a small smile.

Ron nodded slowly before hauling himself to his feet, he wanted to be out of the limelight of the common room, while the other students were no longer openly listening to their conversation, he could still see the glances thrown in their direction. “I’m going to bed.” He said simply leaving Harry alone by the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics are: Mess by Noah Kahan
> 
> Thank you so much for getting this story to over 100 hits! Love everyone of you that takes the time to read my stuff.


	5. Hogwarts was well and truly still his home

_If I could give this all back, I would be home in the morning_

_I'd wake up in a cold sweat, take a flight back to the city I was born in_

_And I would wipe myself clean, of what I knew was unimportant_

_I'd want typical things, I'd try to fit back into all my old clothing_

***

**Harry**

_Harry stood in what he could tell was the Room of Requirement surrounded on all four sides by piles of clutter that towered well over his head. He felt the panic of needing to find something amongst the chaos when the echoing screams of Hermione permeated his ears. It was the sound of her being tortured in Malfoy Manor. Adrenaline surged his body as he scrambled to shift the wall of clutter, throwing aside books, and boxes and miscellaneous stuff to reach her. But the wall seemed have no end. No matter what he shifted he didn’t even appear to make a dent. Grunting in frustration he tried to move faster as the screams shifted to the sound of Hermione sobbing. Then a new sound roared into his ears, it was the crackling of fire. Harry’s vision swam as fire and smoke licked at the clutter behind him. The Fiendfyre was encroaching on him, he tried to clamber over the wall and out of the fire when it enveloped him, Hermione screaming ringing in his ears-_

***

Harry woke with a start, drenched in a cold sweat and still breathing heavily. Taking a moment to ground himself with the gentle snores of what sounded like Dean from the bed next to his. Glancing to his bed side table at the clock he swore under his breath, it was only 5.30am. It hadn’t been the first time he’d woken up that night, but he could tell from the way his brain was ticking that there was no chance that he was going to get anymore sleep. He still had just over an hour until most of the school would be up for breakfast. Sighing he sat up and as quietly as he could muster, he changed into his uniform, grabbed the Marauder’s map and invisibility cloak out of his trunk. Picking up his wand he slipped the cloak over his head and made his way out of the dorm into the deserted common room.

“I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.” He whispered giving the map a quick look over checking to see if Filch was roaming nearby. Thankfully he was skulking around the dungeons.

Harry slipped out of the portrait hole and began walking. He didn’t have a direction in mind, he just wanted to relax himself. The nightmares, though common place as they were now, still left his heart thudding and put him on edge for hours afterwards. He’d gotten into a habit of going for early morning walks when he was staying at the Burrow to clear his head and calm him for the day ahead. He hoped that walking the castle would have a similar effect.

After walking aimlessly for close to 20 minutes he found himself pausing at the corridor leading up to the Astronomy Tower. He debated whether he should venture up there. He hadn’t been up there since… _Dumbledore_. Chewing his lip, he found his feet moving up the stairs to the tower of their own accord. He had felt that he was going to make it a point to avoid the tower completely for the whole year, but he had an almost sick curiosity to be back there.

Walking onto the observation platform, Harry pulled of the invisibility cloak he braced himself for a flash back of memories or a wall of emotions but didn’t experience either. He felt strange wave of calm overcome him. It looked exactly how it had always been, there was no big reminder of Dumbledore’s final moments. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the rail and sat down, dangling his legs off the edge while he took in the early morning sun sweeping over the black lake. It was almost impossibly quiet, and he took the chance to think.

His first day back had gone relatively smoothly until Hermione and Ron had begun fighting. They had always snapped at each other from time to time, but Harry felt this had been different. He hadn’t spent an awful lot of time with them while being back at the Burrow as he’d been busy, but he did know that they hadn’t spent a lot of time talking to one another. Hermione had busied herself with reading up on her NEWT classes once she’d found out about going back and Ron had been working out his frustrations by flying with Ginny. Leaning back to lie down with his hands behind his head, legs still dangling Harry sighed and he watched the high clouds roll over the lightening sky. He didn’t really want to have to play buffer between them again this year if they weren’t willing to have a proper conversation about what they wanted. He wondered if he should shut them in an empty classroom and not let them out until they worked out what they were doing. He would support them regardless of their decision, they were his best friends after all, but he was tired of the bickering. Making a note to ask Ginny what he should do he lifted his head to extract his hand and check his watch 6.30am. He could justify heading down to breakfast in about half an hour.

He hadn’t found being back as hard as he had originally thought, the constant attention was something that he could definitely do without, but he was ultimately used to it. The castle, while still holding a lot of bad memories still felt like home to him. He hadn’t realised how much he had missed it until being back in it’s walls. The Burrow, though he was welcome as family to stay wasn’t the same and he couldn’t fathom living in Grimmauld Place for the time being. Hogwarts was well and truly still his home. Harry entertained the idea of staying to teach for a moment, but he wasn’t sure that he could deal with the stream of students who would be taught about the war and who he was. He wanted to fade out of the public eye, but he was unsure if that was ever going to be possible for him.

Exhaling heavily, Harry sat up, making to stand to head down to breakfast. As he walked through the corridors, he was mentally preparing himself for the beginning of classes. All the eighth years were taking classes together as there wasn’t many of them. They had double Transfiguration in the morning and then Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts in the afternoon. Headmistress McGonagall was still teaching transfiguration on top of her other duties, having not hired a replacement yet, Slughorn was still teaching potions and Hestia Jones from the Order had been hired as the DADA professor.

Entering the Great Hall, he let his eyes sweep the sparse number of students who had arrived early, and he spotted Hermione who was already there concentrating intently on her eggs in front of her. Sliding into the seat next to her he began buttering a piece of toast.

“Morning?” he muttered to her trying to judge her mood this morning.

She glanced at him, “Morning.” She replied coolly, not betraying how she felt.

He took a bite of toast and chewed it thoughtfully, not quite sure how to proceed.

“How are you today?” he asked cautiously.

Chuckling quietly Hermione put a hand on his arm, “I’m not mad at you Harry.” She confirmed, “I’m angry at Ronald.”

He nodded, “I know, I just-”

She cut him off with a look, “This is between us.”

Nodding again he let the conversation hang there as they ate.

Ron arrived, dropping down next to Harry when the flurry of owls arrived to deliver the mail. Hermione saying nothing but giving Ron a look out the corner of her eye she took the Prophet and scanned the front page.

“Anything we need to know?” Harry asked glancing at the letter he had received before tearing it in half, it was yet another letter from Rita Skeeter, probably asking him to do an interview once again.

She shook her head, “Just a nothing story about you being back at Hogwarts. Nothing of value really.” She folded the paper back up and slipped it into her backpack no doubt to read properly later and rising from the table. “I’ll see you at Transfiguration.” She threw over her shoulder as she left the hall.

Ron let out a breath he was holding.

Harry looked at him, “I take it you haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet?” he asked quirking an eyebrow at his friend.

“No…” Ron agreed quietly, “She hasn’t given me the chance.”

Taking a swig of pumpkin juice Harry nodded slowly before putting the goblet down. “Don’t leave it too long yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Taking one last bite of toast Harry rose to his feet, “Ready to go?” he asked.

Ron nodded standing too, he hadn’t really eaten much, a sure sign he was probably more upset about his fight with Hermione than he was letting on. They walked to Transfiguration in silence.

Entering the transfiguration classroom Harry found those who had arrived before him to be loitering at the door as opposed to finding and taking their seats. He leant over to Hannah Abbott who was muttering quietly to Ernie Macmillan, “What’s happening?”

Hannah pulled a face, “McGonagall told us to wait before sitting down. We were just trying to work out why.”

Ernie sniffed, “You heard McGonagall during her opening speech, she’s probably expecting us to hold hands and forgive each other or something.’

Hannah and Harry looked at each other both cracking a grin.

“Merlin, can you imagine?” Hannah said with a quiet giggle glancing over to the huddle of Slytherins that had gathered on the other side of the entrance way, they themselves looked apprehensive as to what was to come.

Once the remainder of the class entered McGonagall motioned to them to pay attention.

“Yesterday I spoke of unity and overcoming prejudices and I meant what I said.” She peered over her spectacles at them, sometimes Harry swore she was trying to read their minds, “so I’ve decided to set a seating plan this year to encourage conversation between the houses.”

Harry raised and eyebrow and glanced at Hannah and Ernie who returned the look of surprise with him.

“So, pairs are as follow: Miss Bones and Mr Finnigan. Mr Macmillan and Mr Goldstein. Miss Padma Patil and Miss Parkinson-”

Pansy tried to suppress a noise of shock behind her hand.

“-Miss Parvati Patil and Mr Boot. Mr Weasley and Mr Finch-Fletchley.” McGonagall continued choosing to ignore Pansy’s little outburst. “Mr Longbottom and Mr Zambini. Mr Thomas and Mr Corner. Miss Greengrass and Miss Abbott. Mr Potter and Mr Nott. And finally, Miss Granger and Mr Malfoy.” Waving her wand, the names of each pair appeared over the two person tables that they were to share.

With a collective smattering of mumbling, sighs and quiet groans they made their ways to their assigned seats.

Harry rolled his eyes as he took his seat beside Nott who was already lounging waiting for him. Harry couldn’t quite comprehend how Nott managed to fold himself to fit at the desk, he had several inches in height over him and appeared to be almost nothing but gangly limbs.

He quickly glanced at Ron whose gaze was fixated on Hermione as she went to sit beside Malfoy. She was trying to keep her face neutral but even from his seat halfway across the classroom Harry could tell she wasn’t comfortable with the arrangement.

“Draco won’t bite.” Nott commented, following Harry’s gaze to the busy haired witch. “He hasn’t got it in him these days to be a dick.” he added with a small shrug.

Harry just looked at him.

“But don’t tell him I said that.” The other wizard joked giving him a dazzling smile before McGonagall called the class to attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was going to have Theo's perspective to but it ended up too long so you'll have to wait for the rest of their interaction.  
As always thanks for taking the time to read this.  
Lyrics are Mess by Noah Kahan


	6. You're right I'm not my father

_My hobbies include, pushing away these girls that maybe really like me_

_Cutting people off because I don’t trust exciting_

_But what the fuck have I done? I’m not even an icon_

_But I still get death threats often, so their meaning starts to soften_

**Theo**

If you had asked Theo if he had expected to be paired off in Transfiguration that morning when he was trying to get Draco to eat some breakfast, he would have just laughed. He had expressed his scepticism to the whole idea of interhouse unity the night before and hadn’t expected the headmistress to _actually_ make good on her word to get them working together. He had thought it was nothing more than empty words to appease parents. Yet here they were being assigned seats. Being paired with Potter was not all bad, Theo thought, the other boy had an air of unkempt handsomeness about him that Theo found innately attractive, _‘As you would if you had to stare at Draco’s stupid, manicured, flawless face all the time. There’s only so much perfection you can take before it gets boring’ _He smirked to himself.

He snuck a look through his lashes at Potter sitting next to him as McGonagall was explaining the lesson for the day. He had his brows furrowed as he chewed on the end of his quill, he was occasionally throwing subtle glances at Draco and Grangers table. Theo could understand why Potter was concerned; he knew what had happened in Malfoy Manor, Draco had told him everything over several glasses of firewhisky during the trials. But Theo also knew that the Draco was disgusted by what had happened and carried a inordinate amount of guilt for not stop his psycho of an aunt doing what she did despite reassurances that he couldn’t have realistically done anything without jeopardising himself or his mother or in fact possibly killing Granger herself.

Zoning back in briefly to the lesson he discovered that they were to be conjuring wings on their partner. Soon enough they were asked to stand, and the tables and benches were vanished for them to practice.

Theo turned to face Potter spinning his wand in his fingers, “Wanna start, or should I?” he asked.

Potter hesitated, “I’ll start.’

“For the record, I’m not going to hex you.” Theo shrugged shoving his wand back into his pocket.

“I didn’t say you were.” He countered pulling out his own wand and checking the incantation that McGonagall had written up for them.

He chuckled, “I know but I can also understand that the son of a death eater pointing a wand at you, even in the most innocent of circumstances is bound to make one hesitate.”

“_Date Florem!_” Harry said swirling his hand.

Theo winced at the pinching feeling that erupted between his shoulders, peering over his shoulder to see if he could see wings. He couldn’t see anything, so he twisted his back to Potter to show him.

“Nothing.”

“I definitely felt something.” He said with a grin.

“I stand by what I said at the trial Nott, you aren’t your father.” Potter said readying his wand again. “_Date Florem._”

Theo was ready for the pinch this time and managed not to wince visibly. He turned again to show his back and the other boy shook his head.

“You’re right I’m not my father, I’m much better looking.” He joked ready for the next attempt at the spell, “I’m also not a colossal dick, though I do have one.” He winked.

Potter laughed, “_Date Florem._”

This time the pinch was more pronounced, and Theo glanced over his shoulder to see tiny bat-like black wings sprouting from his back. He turned around to show them off giving the raven-haired boy a cocky applause over his shoulder.

Theo laughed openly as Potter returned his applause with an exaggerated curtsey.

“Thank you, thank you.” Potter sniggered before casting the counter-spell and preparing again.

This interaction was going far better than Theo could have predicted. While they had never had any outright disagreements in the past they were essentially in ‘enemy’ houses and by simple association with Draco they were expected to hate each other. He had never hated Potter; he didn’t care enough to do so. He kept up appearances for the sake of not being ostracised and instead of joining in with Draco and the gangs bullying he kept a low profile and watched from the side lines. Which probably made him guilty by compliance but what else could he have done? _Typical Slytherin cowardice_, his mind supplied.

“_Date Florem._”

Theo wasn’t prepared for this one and flinched as a slightly larger set of wings sprouted from him, this time each about the size of his hand.

“Well now I think you’re just showing off Potter!” he said genuinely impressed, the other boy flushing slightly at his words.

McGonagall took that moment to walk past them, “10 points to Gryffindor Mr Potter.” She gave them a smile, “They could do with being a bit larger but very good work.” She wandered off to observe Weasley and Finch-Fletchley, the former’s face tinged with the same red as his hair as he concentrated trying to make wings appear on the Hufflepuffs back. The only pair who was matching them was Draco and Granger who were admiring the deep green wings that were adorning Draco’s shoulders.

After several more attempts Theo was hovering a few inches from the ground as his large black wings flapped lazily. He gave Potter a grin, “This is fucking cool.” He said quiet enough that McGonagall wouldn’t overhear him swearing in her classroom.

Potter scratched the back of his head with what Theo could only describe as a look of restrained pride on his face, a small smile on his lips. He then, while Theo was momentarily distracted looking off at one of the other pairs, quietly muttered the counter spell delighting in the yelp as the brunette dropped back to the ground.

Heart beating hard as he recovered from the shock of suddenly falling back down to earth and gave Potter and approving nod, “You’re an arse,” he said with a cheeky smile, “but I would have done the same so touché.”

“Your turn.” He answered simply with a shrug.

He put his hands up in mock surrender, “Okay, okay.” He pulled his wand from his pocket and pointed it at his partner, “You always this bossy or just in bed?” he drawled cheekily. “_Date Florem._”

He barely flinched and turned to show Theo his lack of wings. “Why, are you wanting to find out?”

Theo blinked, was Potter flirting? Wasn’t he dating the girl Weasley? Wasn’t he straight? Surely he was just messing around? Trying to recover before he read too much into it, he shrugged, “I don’t know what you’ve heard about me Potter but I’m not a bottom.”

“Could have fooled me.” He answered with a mischievous smirk.

Narrowing his eyes Theo didn’t dignify his words with a response. “_Date Florem._”

His partner proudly showed off a tiny set of golden wings.

Shaking his head Theo scoffed, “Of course yours are golden.” He quickly cast the counter spell and tried again. A dozen attempts later, and Theo still couldn’t conjure any wings bigger than the size of a dinner plate. Groaning in frustration he ran a hand through his soft hair and frowned a little pissed off that he wasn’t making any progress. It was then that the lesson was drawn to an end and they were dismissed for lunch.

Picking up their bags Potter paused for a moment meeting his eyes, “We can catch up and you can practice again before next class if you want?” he asked looking a little confused himself at suggesting it.

“Oh?” Theo raised an eyebrow, “Sure.”

“Tomorrow, free period in the old charms room?”

Theo nodded and watched bemused as Potter turned and walked out of the class. He wasn’t expecting that outcome and was suddenly overcome with a rush of nerves. Blushing he shoved them down as quickly as they’d come and followed a group of chattering Hufflepuffs down to the Great Hall for lunch, thoughts racing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random posting time today since I'm in training for the next 2 days  
Had a lot of fun with this one, the bois flirting? Sign me up  
Song is: I miss having sex but at least I don't wanna die anymore by Waterparks


	7. I could've done things differently

_My own mind can lie to me, they all say it's anxiety, but I, just think it's me_

_Now I've lost so many years, my pillows a tissue for my tears_

_But you, never see, and now, I can't even eat my dinner_

_Mom says I'm getting thinner, am I?_

***

**Draco**

Draco slipped silently into the library after dinner, he’d made an excuse to his fellow Slytherin’s in favour of avoiding the common room and the gossip at his expense. He’d had enough of it last night. He had stayed in the common room as long as his body would allow to avoid sleep and the nightmares that plagued it, which had allowed for him to be bombarded with verbal abuse. He had so far avoided getting hexed like Pansy who ran foul to a bat-bogey hex from a 4th year Gryffindor while heading to breakfast this morning. But he was sick of the way the conversation would cease the moment he entered a room.

Taking a seat at a table towards the back of the library away from prying eyes he pulled out his potion’s textbook. He didn’t need to read it, he was naturally gifted at potions and was going to find the class a breeze, he just wanted something to do. The first day back in class had been an interesting affair. Draco had found himself being paired up with Granger of all people in Transfiguration. It was awkward enough having to share a space with the person his aunt had tortured, let alone having to work in a partnership with her. It wasn’t that he didn’t regret what had happened to her, because he did, more than he’d care to admit to anyone. But he knew himself well enough to know that his pride was making it extremely difficult to apologise to her. So they had spent the majority of the lesson in silence, merely casting spells on each other while they avoided prolonged eye contact. 

He had glanced around from time to time during class, noticing that Theo and Potter appeared to be getting on like a house on fire. Which both impressed and annoyed Draco. He’d always known Nott didn’t care for the rivalry between him and Potter and if he was completely honest with himself, he didn’t blame Theo at all. Draco knew deep down it had simply been born out of being humiliated when Potter had turned down his friendship in their first year, long before they ended up on opposite sides of the war. It had been easy to hold a grudge and it had just gotten worse when his Father, fuelled by Death Eater rhetoric had made it clear that Potter was someone he _should_ hate because he threatened their very way of life. But now at eighteen years old and with his Father in Azkaban, Draco knew it was all bullshit. He’d long made peace with being turned down for friendship, he had been an insufferable prat back then so he couldn’t fault Potter for his decision. But he was more than a little annoyed that Theo, after criticising him over dinner the night before for merely suggesting making amends, was doing just that.

Angrily flipping the page of his book, despite having not read anything on it, Draco dropped his cheek into his hand his grey eyes scanning the book vacantly.

Potions had been unremarkable, Professor Slughorn was the same as he’d always been, and Draco couldn’t help but miss Snape’s teaching. It was more than just the obvious favouritism that Snape had had for Slytherin, he had grown up learning potions from the now deceased potions master. He had been an old friend of his father’s and for whatever reason hadn’t minded Draco annoying him with endless questions about potions and getting into his stores when he was a child. He couldn’t help but smile at the memories of finally being allowed to help with the potions Snape was brewing and the look of pride he’d received when he did it correctly. It was a look he savoured more than any of the handful of times that his father acted like he was proud of him, it meant more coming from Snape.

Defence Against the Dark Arts had been uncomfortable for the Slytherin. It was a subject tainted by the Carrow’s influence and having cast a number of unsavoury dark curses himself he felt occasionally the Professor Jones’ eyes had been boring into him. He knew he deserved the treatment he was receiving after what he’d done but it was exhausting trying to not let it affect him.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t see Hermione approach him until she had dropped down into the chair opposite him. He looked up at her, eyebrows raised silently questioning her.

“What are you doing here?” he asked quietly aware that Madam Pince was bound to be lurking around.

“Hi to you too.” She snapped back before seeming to catch herself and taking a deep breath. “Um…”

Draco continued to stare at her, still bemused as to why she was sitting in front of him.

“I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour in class today, McGonagall seems serious about us all getting along and I made no effort to do so…” she trailed off looking down at the desk running her finger back and forward along the grain of the wood.

The blond looked at her incredulously, “I don’t know why you’re apologising to me Granger.” He muttered, “I should be the one apologising I- I was…” he trailed off trying to think of the right word to sum up his actions.

“A prick? A twat? An arse?” Hermione supplied with a small smile.

Draco couldn’t help but flash a grin back, she had nailed it. “Yeah, all of the above.” Closing his potion’s book with a soft snap he folded his hands on the cover, “Look,” he started slowly looking down at his hands unable to look her in the eye, “about last year-”

“Oh, I-” Hermione interrupted looking mildly uncomfortable about the direction of the conversation.

“-I wanted to say sorry for what happened at the Manor… I know that, that can’t undo anything but...” Draco looked up and his grey eyes met her brown, “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it.” He whispered so quietly he wasn’t sure if she’d hear him.

Hermione was quiet for several moments and Draco felt himself beginning to squirm under her continued gaze.

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered back finally.

He let out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding, “I could have done things differently.” He said with a shrug.

Giving him a grim smile, she shook her head, “I think you did what you had to.” She reached out and place a hand on his folded ones, “I accept your apology.”

Draco flinched slightly it felt like his skin was burning where she touched his hands and he felt his checks reddening. He quickly snatched his hands back and clumsily picked up his textbook.

“I’ve… I need to go. Bye Granger” He stuttered and almost ran from the library. What the hell was happening to him? He needed a drink and with that he made his way quickly to the Slytherin common room and towards the bottle of Ogden’s Firewhisky he knew Theo had under his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly making some headway with Draco!  
Lyrics are The doctor said by Chloe Adams  
Thanks for reading x


	8. You were right

_Never seen someone so beautiful, told me that you love me_

_But you need somebody vulnerable, but I don't know how_

_I'm sorry for the way that I am, got problems that I don't understand_

_Every time you ask me "baby you alright?" then I stop like a deer in the headlight_

_Thinking that you'll just get mad_

***

**Ron**

Ron went looking for Hermione after a second helping of treacle tart, he was taking Harry’s advice seriously and was going to apologise. While she had completely overreacted in the moment Ron had to admit it had been his fault that it had gotten this bad between them. He wasn’t good at communicating and he really needed to work on it if there was going to be a future with Hermione. Knowing exactly where she would be, he headed to the library and was met by Malfoy running out of the door and down the corridor. Stopping in his tracks in shock he looked after the blond before cautiously approaching the library door unsure about what could have possibly prompted such a reaction from the Slytherin. Walking in he looked around, nothing appeared out of the ordinary. Shrugging Ron began walking through the aisles looking for the familiar head of bushy hair.

Spotting her down the back he took a calming breath and approached her.

“Hermione?” he whispered.

She looked up at him clearly being shaken out of deep thought, “Oh hi Ron.” She absentmindedly replied.

“Can I sit down?” he asked, praying she would hear him out.

Nodding she watched him carefully as he took a seat and grabbed her hand that was resting on the table.

“I wanted to apologise,” he started looking at her trying to read her expression, “You were right, I don’t talk about my feelings and I need to work on that.”

Hermione nodded again, “If this is going to work Ron we need to talk about-”

“-I know.” He agreed, “But, try and be patient with me, this isn’t my forte remember?” he gave her a small smile, which she returned.

“I think I can do that.” She took her hand from under his and rose from the table and for a moment Ron panicked thinking that she was about leave, but instead she moved to stand beside him indicating that he slide over on the bench to let her sit, which he quickly did. She sat down beside him and leant into his shoulder.

Ron noted this was one of the few times that she initiated contact between them, he lifted his arm to put it around her but hesitated for a second, “Is this okay?” he asked shocking himself.

Hermione blinked for a second also shocked, “Yeah.”

He draped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to kiss the top of her head. “I am really sorry Hermione; I was an insensitive prick for not realising how me clamming up was affecting you.”

“It’s okay, I should have said something earlier and not in the middle of the common room.”

He chuckled quietly, “Yeah that was a bit brutal.”

“You deserved it.” She joked poking him in the ribs with her elbow.

Ron grinned; this was more like how they used to be. Using his free hand, he cupped Hermione’s cheek and turned her to face him. He gazed at her for a second before stooping his head down to brush his lips lightly against hers. Leaning back, he studied her face to check her reaction, she leant forward and kissed him again, harder this time but pulling back just before the urge to deepen it became too overwhelming.

“We are in the library…” she said by way of explanation albeit slightly breathlessly and with a blush dusting her cheeks.

“I love you.” He whispered dropping one more kiss to her forehead.

“I love-”

“-No public displays of affection in my library!” Madam Pince was standing over them looking down her hooked nose at them clearly furious, “Out!”

Hermione and Ron quickly scrambled to their feet and were shepherded out of the door by the still muttering librarian.

“Oops.” Ron said with a grimace.

Hermione was as red as his hair, “How am I going to set foot back in there?!” she cried mortified.

“It’ll be fine, you’re one of Pince’s favourites.” Ron shrugged and took her hand and they began to walk back to the Gryffindor common room. “Maybe-” he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as they turned the corner, “Maybe we can talk, properly talk over a butterbeer in Hogsmeade on Saturday?” he asked cautiously.

“Isn’t Harry joining us?”

“He said something about meeting Luna so it will be just us.”

Hermione squeezed his hand, “It’s a date.”

Grinning they continued to walk hand and hand arriving in the common room and being greeted by Harry who was trying to work on his potion’s homework at a table in the corner. He noticed their linked hands and grinned at them moving some of the crumpled parchment off the other chairs so they could sit down.

“Things all good now?” he asked.

Ron nodded and smiled at Hermione his heart swelling with happiness, “Yeah, we’re going to talk in Hogsmeade while you’re with Luna.”

Harry clapped Ron on the shoulder, “Proud of youuu...” he sung at them and Ron smacked his hand away good-naturedly.

Hermione rolled her eyes and glanced at the piece of parchment Harry was writing on and frowned, “That isn’t what fluxweed does Harry.”

Harry looked down at the parchment for a second before throwing his head back groaning, “This is the 5th time I’ve rewritten this too.”

“I’ll help you don’t worry.” She said with a smile and picked up his potions book flicking to the right page.

Ron gave him a curious look, “Something on your mind?”

Harry’s eyes widened comedically, “What? No!” he said quickly busying himself with his homework.

Hermione and Ron exchanged a look but shrugged and decided to let it go for the time being, they’d get him through the homework first before harassing him about what he was thinking about. They were still sitting there long after the last student went to bed, homework cast aside hours ago, just talking like they had in the good old days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter today, I promise there will be Dramione just have to build that up.  
Lyrics are: False Confidence by Noah Kahan


	9. I guess I just never gave up the habit

_Don't take yourself so seriously, look at you all dressed up for someone you never see_

_You're here for a reason but you don't know why, you're split and uneven your hands to the sky_

_Surrender yourself, and I wonder why I tear myself down_

_To be built back up again, oh I hope somehow, I'll wake up young again_

***

**Theo**

Theo had tried to avoid thinking about Potter the previous evening but had been unsuccessful. He had ended up laying awake until the small hours of the morning going over and over what had happened in Transfiguration and whether it had constituted flirting on the other boy’s part and why he cared so much. Theo had admitted an uncomfortable truth to himself at about 3.07am that he had some level of unresolved feelings for Potter and that was the reason he was obsessing over the exact connotations of what was said. He daren’t speak it to Draco who himself was having a rough night obsessing over his own issues, so they’d passed Theo’s bottle of firewhisky back and forth in silence until they had passed out on Draco’s bed at around 4am.

Bleary-eyed and groggy they had woken for breakfast, both complaining of headaches. Opting to skip what was going to be a nosy morning in the Great Hall they had Pansy fetch them some toast and which they ate outside, hoping the fresh air would help them feel better. It had sort of worked, by the time they had eaten they were at the very least feeling more awake from the cold morning air.

Theo was thankful that they only had Charms in the morning, though it did mean that his study… date? appointment? meeting? with Potter was fast approaching since they both had a free afternoon. He was both looking forward to and dreading the meet up. Looking forward to it because he wanted to test the flirting theory and dreading it because he was worried it would be utterly transparent that he had a crush on the Gryffindor and him be disgusted by it.

Charms passed incredibly slowly, and Theo found himself completely preoccupied stealing glances at Potter from across the classroom. They never met eyes as Potter was determinedly looking to the front of the class. At one-point Draco had nudged him in the side as he asked a question but had been staring at Potter and hadn’t heard what it was. His friend gave him a look and Theo flipped him off under the table, knowing he was going to get questioned about it later.

Finally being dismissed Theo followed Draco down to the Great Hall for lunch. Sliding into a seat next to Pansy who was gushing about her latest crush over her sandwiches.

“- I mean she’s fucking _hot_ but she’s also in Hufflepuff.” Pansy continued twirling a lock of black hair around her finger, something she did when she was trying to make a decision, “But I’m also that bitch that tried to turn Potter over…” she added with a sigh. “I need to get the hell out of England, find someone who doesn’t know me.”

Theo couldn’t help but nod in agreement.

“Doesn’t stop you looking at Potter like a lovesick puppy though does it Theo?” Draco drawled with a smirk.

Pansy dropped the fork she was using to steal a bite of Theo’s steak and kidney pie, “Theo?!” she squealed, “You have a crush on Potter?”

Knowing his red cheeks were betraying him he tried to shrug nonchalantly, “I mean he’s not ugly, I wouldn’t need to be gay to see that.”

“Isn’t he dating the Weaslette?” Pansy asked turning her head to look over at the Gryffindor table clearly looking for them.

A small flash of jealousy ran through Theo, but he tried to ignore it. “Exactly.” He wasn’t hungry for his pie anymore and gathered his things to leave.

“Are you coming down to the pitch free period?” Draco asked watching him carefully.

“Oh, I uh have a study date.” He said dismissively trying to avoid anyone asking who it was with. He saw Draco open his mouth to question him and he quickly stood, “Bye!” he called over his shoulder to them quickly making his escape.

He slowly made he way to the third floor, he didn’t know what he was going to do about his crush on the ‘golden boy’. Supress it probably. It wouldn’t be the first time he had squashed feelings down until they’d gone away. He’d done a similar of thing with Blaise a few years ago. He’d developed a crush on him in their fourth year, but famous womaniser Blaise was out of reach, so he had managed to avoid letting the feelings manifest into anything substantial by pure will power. With a tad of avoiding him until he could look at him without blushing.

Theo walked into the empty charms room, knowing he was early, and Potter wouldn’t turn up for another 20 minutes or so. Throwing his bag down he took off his robe and lay down on the floor in the middle of the room on his back. He was still tired from only getting 3 hours of sleep and lying down was very appealing. He folded his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t know why he hadn’t cancelled this study date once he’d realised that he liked Potter. He was playing with fire spending one-on-one time with the object of his affections. This wasn’t conducive to squashing his feelings.

Theo groaned and rubbed his hands over his face out of frustration and exhaustion, squeezing his eyes tight shut.

“You look like shit.” Potter joked.

Theo’s eyes snapped open, heart thudding. He was trying to convince himself that it was because Potter had snuck up on him, but he knew he was lying.

He grinned and flipped him off, “At least my hair doesn’t look like I’ve been dragged through devil’s snare backwards.” He retorted giving his unkempt hair a pointed look.

“Fuck you.” He laughed offering his hand to pull Theo up.

Swallowing hard he grabbed the proffered hand and allowed himself to be pulled up, “You wish.” He said with a wink.

“Ready to get started?” Potter tossed his bag down next to Theo’s and took his position in the centre of the room.

Theo rolled his eyes and pulled his wand from his back pocket, “Sure am.”

***

It didn’t take long for Theo to successfully conjure a beautiful full-sized pair of golden wings on Potter’s back.

He grinned at Theo the wings flapping lazily behind him, “This _is_ fucking cool.” He said agreeing with Theo’s sentiment from the day before.

“Try flying, it’s awesome.” Theo gushed.

Potter concentrated for a moment before flapping his wings and flying about a foot in the air and began to glide gently around the room. “It is awesome!”

Once Potter was heading in the direction of a desk Theo muttered the counter spell and watched as he crashed into the desk, knocking over a chair in the process.

“You’re a cock.” He spluttered with a laugh picking himself and the chair up.

“You are what you eat I guess.” He answered with a shrug, grinning wide and pocketing his wand again.

Looking at his watch Potter sighed, there was still a couple of hours left before they were expected to head to dinner.

Theo perched himself on desk and grinned mischievously pulling a hip flask from his pocket, “Care to join me for a small drink?”

Raising an eyebrow at him Potter shrugged and took a seat on the desk next to him.

Theo unscrewed the cap and took a swig before handing it to the other boy, “It’s firewhisky.”

Potter down a shot and hissed quietly.

“Not a big drinker then?” Theo laughed taking the flask back and setting it down between them.

“Not firewhisky.” He admitted, “Why do you even have that?”

Theo paused for a moment, trying to decide on how he wanted to answer. Truthfully, he had developed a taste for the drink between his sixth and seventh years when his father had lashed out at him for not taking the dark mark. That summer had been unbearable and drinking himself into a stupor on his father’s whisky stores was one of life’s few mercy’s.

Theo took a moment to study Potter’s gently imploring face and decided in that moment he might as well tell the truth. He had nothing to lose at this point.

“Well,” he started, “you know how I never aligned during the war?”

Potter said nothing but nodded.

“Well, my father wasn’t too please with me for that, he… uh wanted me to take the dark mark when I was 16 but I didn’t…” Theo looked away and down at his hands where he fiddled with the sleeve of his jumper. “That summer before 7th year was hell, he lashed out at me whenever he was home from ‘business’ and drinking got me through that, and I guess I just never gave up the habit…”

The silence after he spoke was deafening and for a second, he felt a rush of regret for what he’d just admitted. He was surprised when Potter placed a hand on his arm, and he looked up at him.

His eyebrows were furrowed as he looked at Theo, “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” he asked confused.

“You didn’t deserve that.” He answered simply.

“I don’t want pity.” He muttered reaching for the flask again and taking another drink.

“And that’s not what I’m offering.” Potter shrugged taking the flask also swallowing more of the burning liquid. “Just sympathy, I know what it’s like to have shitty family. My aunt and uncle weren’t much better.”

“At least your father didn’t kill your mum.” Theo said quietly. He didn’t mean to say it, it had slipped out before he could stop himself. He hadn’t ever told anyone else the truth behind his mother’s death, he’d glossed over it during Care of Magical Creatures when he revealed he could see the thestrals.

Potter retracted his hand from his arm like he’d been burned, “What?” he hissed angrily.

Theo recoiled, he hadn’t expected anger and he tried to shrug like it wasn’t a big deal, but he could feel his hands begin to shake and he busied himself with having another drink. Heartbeat thudding in his ears he avoided looking at Potter, “Uh, yeah when I was nine. They’d had problems for years because she was a ‘muggle sympathiser’ and his attempts to change her didn’t take…” Taking a shaky breath, he continued, “He, made me watch to toughen me up. Figured he could traumatise his poof son straight, I guess. Not that it worked.”

Potter leapt up from his place on the desk and moved to stand in front of Theo who slowly looked up to meet his eyes which were darker than he’d ever seen them.

“Why didn’t you say anything about that during the Trial?” he said, his voice shaking as he tried to keep his anger in check.

“I don’t know.” Theo whispered back truthfully, he didn’t have an answer, he just hadn’t.

“Fuck Theo, I knew your father was a monster but I never thought-”

“-no one did Harry. As far as anyone knows her death was accidental.” And for the first time in the almost 10 years since it had happened Theo’s eyes filled with tears. He had been berated for crying over his mother’s death and had long since conditioned himself not to. He didn’t know if it was the firewhisky or Harry’s gaze or both that was bringing back the flood of emotion, but he couldn’t stop himself. Wiping his eyes furiously he was surprised to be pulled into a tight hug.

Though he was several inches taller than the Gryffindor, his seat on the edge of the desk put Theo on par with Harry and he unconsciously tucked his head into the other boy’s neck as a heavy sob wracked through his body.

They stayed like that for several minutes as Theo tried to get himself back under control, part of him feeling stupid for breaking down. He’d hidden behind his humour and sarcasm for so long that crying felt foreign to him.

Once he could breath more steadily, he pulled him back from Harry’s neck, but the other boy left his hands on his shoulders, holding him at arm’s length “Sorry…” he said quietly.

Shaking his head Harry looked into his eyes, “You’re allowed to grieve Theo.”

Before he could even process what was happening or what he was doing Theo had leant forward and crushed his lips against Harry’s. He felt Harry freeze and Theo quickly pulled back, face scarlet as he tried to justify his behaviour. “I uh-”

Harry, bright red himself quickly grabbed his things and ran from the room.

Mentally kicking himself Theo threw himself back, lying down on the desk his head hitting it with a dull thud.

“Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter than usual which will hopefully make up for the fact that there will probably be a delay before the next one. (I try to have the next chapter ready before I post but due to commitments over the weekend and wrapping up some lose ends I'm a tad behind so bear with me)  
Lyrics are: False Confidence by Noah Kahan


	10. It's what one does for a friend

_Get a load of this monster, he doesn’t know how to communicate_

_His mind is a different place, will everybody please give him a little bit of space?_

_Get a load of this trainwreck, his hair’s a mess and he doesn’t know who he is yet_

_But little do we know, the stars, welcome him with open arms_

***

**Harry**

Harry had promised to meet Luna in the forest at 10.00am just after the others had headed off to Hogsmeade. He was looking forward to spending time with her away from the prying eyes and gossip that was still following him around the castle. It didn’t help now that he was paranoid that somehow it had gotten out that he had been kissed by Theo.

He hadn’t been expecting it, he had thought it was nothing more than banter, joking rather than actual flirting. And he was torn. He couldn’t deny that he had spent hours mulling over the kiss, replaying it over and over in his mind trying to pinpoint exactly how he felt about it. Theo was attractive, he was funny and quick witted and not at all like the other Slytherins. But he was straight, wasn’t he? He was dating Ginny and he loved her, he knew he loved her. But in the same thought, the kiss with Theo had taken his breath away. But he had ran away. He left Theo in the empty Charms classroom and had made sure to avoid him since, not even venturing a glance in the direction of the Slytherin table.

He’d been so deep in thought that he’d already walked clear across the lawn and in to the quiet of the forest. Picking his way through the underbrush carefully he came to the clearing where he saw Luna standing with her back to him. She was dressed as peculiarly as always. A sparkling blue button up shirt was rolled at the elbows under sunflower dungarees, feet bare, radishes swinging from her ears and wand being used to keep her long dirty blond hair in a bun.

“Hi Harry!’ she called to him without even looking.

“Hey Luna.” He replied walking over to her and standing beside her.

They stood in silence for several minutes as they waited for the threstrals to become aware of their presence in the forest. Slowly but surely, five or six made their way out of the shadows and into the clearing. Luna bent down to her satchel that Harry hadn’t noticed at her feet and she pulled out a smaller bag that he quickly realised was full of raw meat to feed the creatures. Harry found himself not ever surprised that she was carrying such things in her bag and wondered what other bizarre things she was bound to be carrying.

Handing him a piece of the cold raw meat she took one herself and tossed it in front of the largest of them who sniffed it suspiciously before quickly eating it. Harry followed suit, throwing his piece to one that was eyeing him from their right.

“I wanted to say thanks again for keeping the Quibbler from reporting on me.” Harry said glancing at her from out of the corner of his eye.

Luna smiled, her eyes still on the thestrals in front of them who were slowly warming up to them and making their way closer, “It’s what one does for a friend.”

“Well I still appreciate it. I wish the others would leave me alone.”

“In my opinion they _should_ be reporting on the sudden increase of sightings of the crumple-horned snorkack that are sweeping across Europe, but it seems the Prophet is trying to cover it up.” She answered with a shrug.

Harry smiled taking another piece of meat and tossing it, though often completely bemused by the Ravenclaw she was good for getting his mind of things. He hadn’t thought about Theo all this time. ‘_Until now_’ he thought unhelpfully.

At the silence Luna’s wide eyes peered at him curiously and he met her eyes briefly before he found himself looking away.

“There’s something on your mind Harry. You look like you’ve been swarmed by Wrackspurts.”

Harry continued to avoid her gaze and shrugged, “It’s nothing really…” he muttered.

“If it was truly nothing you wouldn’t say that.”

He chuckled quietly, she was right, she often was. “Something happened and I’m trying to work out what to do now.”

She handed him a piece of meat to throw to the thestral that was approaching him, “What are your options?” she asked holding out her own piece of meat to let the winged beast closest to her eat it from her hand.

Harry threw his meat and watched it quickly disappear as it was snapped up, “Explore what happened and how I feel about it and break the heart of the girl I love in the process or…” he bit his lip, “ignore what happened and get on with things.”

“Do you want to ignore it?” she queried.

Harry hesitated for a moment; did he want to ignore it? Part of him did. It would be simpler to just continue his relationship with Ginny like nothing had ever happened between him and Theo. But another part of him… “I don’t know…” he answered finally.

Luna took his hand a turned him to look at her, “The fact that you didn’t immediately say ‘yes’ says a lot…”

He blushed as he looked at her, her ability to read him was always slightly unnerving, “I don’t want to hurt Ginny but…” he trailed off.

“But you want to work out who you are?”

“Yeah.”

“You know Harry,” Luna said, looking at him with her wide owlish eyes, “You’ve had who you are and what you’ve had to do planned out for you your whole life, it’s no wonder you haven’t had a chance to work out who you really are.”

Harry looked at her mouth agape, he often forgot just how wise she could be, “I- I think you might be right.”

She smiled at him and released his hand turning back to pat the thestral that was nudging at her shoulder, probably looking for more food.

“So what are you going to do?” she asked.

“I’m going to go and talk to Ginny.” He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, “Thanks Luna.”

“Bye Harry!” she called over her shoulder and he strode away and out of the forest heading towards the Gryffindor tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short filler chapter to progress nottpott  
Thank you so much for all the hits, kudo, bookmarks and comments it makes my day  
Lyrics are: This is home by Cavetown


	11. I'm tired of arguing with you about this

_But what if, what if we'd held on for longer, and what if, what if breaking made us stronger_

_Either way I'm contemplating, if there's a way to get you back_

_Cause everyday I'm tired of thinking, what if, what if, what if, what if_

***

**Hermione**

The trio went their separate ways after breakfast. Hermione and Ron walked in the direction of Hogsmeade village while Harry went to meet Luna in the forest. Hermione was still running on a high from the night before, both Ron and Malfoy had apologised to her. Out of both expressions of regret she had least expected the one from Malfoy. While she knew from being at his trial that he was remorseful for the path that he had ended up down and subsequent actions, she hadn’t thought that she was to ever receive an apology from him. At best she had expected that they would forever keep at a distance with an unspoken truce between them. She wasn’t complaining though. Having a year where he wasn’t constantly taunting her was favourable to the alternative.

On the other hand, she wasn’t surprised with Ron’s apology but had been impressed with the speed in which he said sorry, though she suspected that Harry has a hand in that. He’d been caught in the middle of their arguments for years and no doubt was tired of it. Hermione was tired of it too if she was honest. They had wildly different personalities and always seemed to know how piss the other off. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Ron, she did, but sometimes she just wished that it was easier being with him. But that’s what today was about, they were going to Hogsmeade to talk about what was bothering them and hopefully form some sort of plan to move forward.

They walked side by side in relative silence down to Hogsmeade, wrapped up warm as it was beginning to get cold.

“Three Broomsticks or The Hogshead?” she asked untucking her chin from behind her black scarf.

Ron thought for a moment, “The Hogshead, less people.”

She nodded and took his gloved hand in hers walking towards the preferred pub. She couldn’t fault his logic; the Three Broomsticks was bound to be crowded and not at all favourable for having an in-depth conversation about their relationship.

Entering the Hogshead, she gave a nod to Aberforth at the bar and went to take a seat while Ron ordered their Butterbeers. She took a seat in a front corner table looking towards the door. It had become habit during their year chasing horcruxes that she always had one eye on the exit for a hasty getaway and one that she wasn’t sure if she was going to break anytime soon.

Ron set her drink down in front of her and took a seat opposite her. They both sipped at their drinks an awkward silence growing between them. It had been such a simple idea to talk through the problems in communication they were having and then get on with things. But now faced with the conversation their communication issues were rearing their ugly head once again.

“Soooo…” Ron started, scratching the back of his neck.

“So,” Hermione begun, trying to decide on where to start this conversation. There was a lot she wanted to say but she wasn’t sure how she wanted to go about it. The last thing she wanted to do was make Ron get defensive and jump on the offensive. “We need to work on our communication.”

He nodded slowly, drawing patterns in the condensation on his glass, “What are you wanting from me in that department?”

Hermione thought for a moment. What exactly did she want from him? “I guess… we need to be able to have conversations about our emotions.” She chewed her lip, “We’ve been through a lot in the last few years and we haven’t had a chance to unpack all of that stuff.”

Ron took a deep drink of his Butterbeer before setting down his glass, a little heavier than intended clearly nervous about the whole topic of opening up to her, “Yeah…”

“I know it’s not going to be a walk in the park but-” she exhaled deeply meeting his eyes, “If we can’t find a level of trust in each other to talk about the hard stuff, should we really be doing this?”

“Yeah.” He repeated.

Trying to stop herself rolling her eyes Hermione busied herself by taking another sip of her drink. “I guess we should start somewhere easy. Or as easy as this conversation can be… How are you feeling being back at Hogwarts?”

He cocked his head to the side thinking carefully, “Well the castle is definitely full of ghosts,” he started, “It’s just… I don’t know… weird being back here sort of acting like things are back to normal when it couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“I agree. We’ve been expected to just get on with school, sitting NEWTs and finding a job like we haven’t just fought and almost died.”

“We’re still grieving too.” He added, “I’m still a mess after Fred-” his voice cracked and he wiped away a tear, “-studying is the last thing on my mind right now.”

Hermione nodded understanding, while she often threw herself into study to help herself feel better, or at least avoid feeling for a while she knew that that wasn’t the case with Ron.

“I’ve thought about dropping out and going to help run the joke shop while George gets back on his feet…” he admitted looking away from her.

She wasn’t entirely shocked by this revelation, before the war she would have jumped up and down at this suggestion, arguing that he needed his education to pursue a job, but the war had changed them all. She wasn’t even sure the career path she wanted to go down anymore, part of returning to Hogwarts was to try an find a sense of normalcy before being forced back into the real world again.

“I know that’s not what you want to hear but-”

Hermione shook her head, “No, I get it.” She answered simply.

“I guess I just don’t know how to go forward from here.” He added with a shrug.

“Neither do I.” she confessed.

“What kind of a know-it-all are you?” he joked weakly.

She smiled back at him, “Useless honestly.”

The both took a moment to drink some more, neither one sure how to continue.

“I’m just scared of losing you too.” Ron muttered quietly.

Hermione blinked, “I’m not going anywhere Ron. Together or not we’ve been friends for seven years. We’ve been to hell and back. You’re stuck with me now.”

It was true. Regardless of if they continued in a romantic relationship, they had been through something that no one else but Harry understood. They were linked together forever.

He flashed her a small lopsided smile, “I guess.”

“Listen, if we can keep this level of dialogue up, we’ll be fine.” She said smiling back at him.

Looking away from the table she couldn’t help but notice the head of blond hair that had just entered the pub. Malfoy. He had been following Nott who it seemed had been dragging him in the door by his hand a broad grin on his face. Malfoy caught her eye and she smiled giving him a wave. He looked stunned for a moment before giving her a stiff wave back.

Ron had turned and followed her line of sight to where Malfoy and Nott were now talking amongst themselves.

“Why were you waving at _him_?!” he hissed, his face turning a shade of red not unlike his hair.

Hermione looked away from the Slytherin’s to look at Ron, this had been going so well. “Oh, he apologised to me yesterday.” She said with a shrug.

“What and that makes up for the last seven years does it?” He asked sarcastically the hand he had cupping his butter beer was starting to shake, “He made school hell for you! Called you a _mudblood_. Watched as his aunt tortured you. He-”

“Apologised.” She said bluntly cutting across him. “I know that it doesn’t fix what had happened.” She held up a hand to stop him interrupting again. “But he meant it Ron. Listen, I’m not going to forget what happened anytime soon either, you think I like catching sight of the scars on my arm from what she did?”

Ron looked sheepish, “-no but-”

“Because I don’t. But that wasn’t Malfoy’s fault. She did that not him. Yes, he made some bad decisions, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice.” She was staring him down now, she was going to get this across regardless of if he wanted to hear it. “Harry agrees, you heard him at the trial.”

“-yes but-”

“We’re supposed to be moving forward. McGonagall wants interhouse unity and I for one agree, the last thing we want to do is breed more hatred.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to be friends with _him._” Ron said quietly, his anger had deflated but he was still frowning at her.

Hermione sighed, “I know, I never said that I was friends with him Ronald.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, “But he is my partner in Transfiguration, I can’t exactly ignore him.”

“But you forgave him…”

“I did.” Hermione nodded.

“But he called you-”

“Oh for fucks sake.” She spat and picked up her hat and shoving it on her head. She grabbed her scarf and gloves and stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m tired of arguing with you about this. If you want to have a rational conversation with me about it come and find me.”

With that Hermione walked away from the table, eyes brimming with tears she hadn’t shown to Ron and stormed out of the Hogshead and back towards the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much for a proper talk, when will Hermione realise this isn't working? Stay tuned  
Lyrics are: What if - Rhys Lewis


	12. I'll see you round golden boy

_It comes and goes in waves, it always does, always does_

_We watch as our young hearts fade, into the flood, into the flood_

_And the freedom of falling, the feeling I thought was set in stone_

_It slips through my fingers_

***

**Harry**

Harry’s mind was racing after his conversation in the forest with Luna. He hadn’t ever considered the fact that he wasn’t completely straight. I mean when had he ever had time to think about it? Sure, retrospectively he could probably say that he had found Cedric attractive, and maybe a couple of others but the threat of impending war had sort of put a dampen on all of that. Saving the world didn’t exactly lend itself to being able to explore one’s sexuality. He needed time and space to explore this, he needed to find out who he was. He was extremely worried about how Ginny was going to take this; they’d only just sort have gotten back together, and he was going to drop this bombshell on her. But in the same breath if he just pushed this all away, he could only imagine it would come bubbling back at some point as resentment. And who knows when that could be, he could be married with kids by then and that would cause even more issues.

Doing a quick check of the pitch he determined that Ginny wasn’t there so suspected that she was probably in the common room. Walking through the castle he was still mulling over his thoughts. He was almost certain that he had some level of feelings for Theo. The kiss that they had shared had made him feel a lot of things, so many things that he had run away from the other boy out of fear. He was going to have to get a message to Theo to apologise to him for running away, it was a dick move. Entering the Gryffindor common room, he spotted Ginny sitting with Dean and Seamus who Harry didn’t even notice were holding hands. He only had eyes for the redhead beside them.

“Ginny, can we talk for a moment?” he asked.

Ginny shot Dean and Thomas a confused look before nodding, “Of course.”

“Privately?” he held out his hand to help her up.

She took it and he pulled her to her feet and walked with her up to the boy’s dormitory which was thankfully deserted since most were at Hogsmeade still. He pulled her over to his bed and took a seat pulling her down with him.

“What is it Harry?” she asked looking at him expectantly.

Harry’s mouth went dry, he’d been so sure of this only moments ago and suddenly he was second guessing himself and every action that had led to this very moment. He swallowed thickly running a hand through his hair not sure how he was going to do this.

“You want to break up?” she burst out before he could manage to get the words out.

Harry winced at the abrupt nature, “Yeah, but not for the reason you probably think.”

Ginny raised an eyebrow at him, “What is the reason then?” she asked keeping her voice incredibly even, making it hard to read how she was really feeling about this information.

“I… uh” he really didn’t know how he was going to say this, “Ithinkilikeguys.”

Ginny blinked, “What?”

Sighing Harry leant back on the bed to avoid her gaze, focusing his eyes instead of the canopy of the four-poster bed, “I think I might like guys…” he repeated bracing himself for whatever her reaction would be.

She surprised him when she lay back to meet him and smiled, “I can’t say I’m surprised by this news.”

“Really?” he asked incredulously, “I didn’t even know until about a week ago.”

She sounded like she was stifling a laugh before she answered. “We always joked that your obsession with Malfoy was really just fuelled by hatred or if you were pining after him too.”

Harry scoffed, “Not even close, he was just a dick.”

Ginny laughed and took his hand, “Listen, we can take a break while you work yourself out. If it turns out you don’t like guys after all then we can try again…if you want. If you do like guys…” she shrugged, “I’m sure I’ll get over it.”

“You’re much cooler about this than I thought you would…” Harry admitted.

“I guess I was almost expecting something like this was going to happen. Not you maybe being gay but something. I guess I prepared myself for this.” She answered.

“I am really sorry Ginny. I didn’t expect to-”

“I know Harry, I don’t blame you.” She moved her head to press against his shoulder, “I’d be more worried if you just suppressed it and let it fester, I can’t imagine that it would be good for us.”

Harry nodded, “That’s what I was thinking. I’d hate to build a life with you and for it to come back and cause more hurt.”

“So who is it?” she gave him a curious glance.

“Oh… uhhh,” he gave her a sheepish look, “Nott.”

She considered this for a moment before giving him a small nod, “Not the worst you could do.” She said, “At least you know he’s gay.”

Harry laughed quietly, “Yeah.”

They lay side by side in silence for several minutes.

“Did you love me?” she whispered quietly suddenly breaking the stillness.

“Yes.” He answered confidently, “I always will.”

Ginny nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek before standing up. Looking down at him she smiled at him, “I hope you find what you’re looking for Harry. You deserve to be happy.”

Harry quickly stood and pulled her into a tight hug, his eyes burning with unshed tears, “I’m sorry Ginny. You deserve the world.” She buried her head into his chest and sniffed, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She muttered into his chest before pulling away and wiping tears from her eyes. “I’ll see you round golden boy.”

“Bye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip Hinny let the Nottpott commence!  
Lyrics are Waves by Dean Lewis  
As always thanks for taking the time to read xx


	13. How'd we get here?

_We had to work a bit more hard, only just to get a little bit less far_

_We could laugh about it all tomorrow, couldn't we?_

_When all is going wrong and you're scared as hell. What you gonna do? Who you gonna tell?_

_Maybe a hundred bad days made a hundred good stories, a hundred good stories make me interesting at parties_

***

**Draco**

Draco couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to be dragged into Hogsmeade by Theo, the trip had gone as well as one would imagine considering he past actions. He had been refused entry into Honeydukes and booed and shouted out of the Three Broomsticks by matrons and Madam Rosmerta alike. He was used to it but all the same it stung. Eventually he’d been dragged into the Hogshead where at least he hadn’t been kicked out, though he did have to witness Weasley and Granger having an argument. Even Draco knew of their volatile relationship, they’d had so many falling outs over the years that even if he’d cared enough to keep track, he would have lost count. He personally could see why they fought all the time; Granger was a know-it-all and required intellectual stimulation and Weasley, well as far as Draco could see he had the brains of a Flobberworm. It wasn’t exactly the best ingredients for a healthy relationship. He on the other hand was second only to Hermione in most of their classes and if he could get past her grating Gryffindor pride, he would clearly be a better match. Not that he felt like that. No.

The only good thing about the trip down to Hogsmeade was the fact that it had allowed them to buy a couple more bottles of firewhisky to replace Theo’s bottle that they had drunken earlier in the week to drown their sorrows. They had planned to gather the other eighth year Slytherins in the boy’s dorm to have a night of drinking and debauchery, or as much as the could get away with while still being very aware that most of them were on probation and couldn’t actively seek out trouble.

Throwing his cloak, hat, gloves and scarf on the bed he surveyed the boy’s dorm. Theo was busy transfiguring some large pillows to sit on and putting them into a rough circle in the centre of the room. He’d placed the bottles of firewhisky in the centre ready for what Draco was sure was going to be a number of drinking games that Theo was notorious for trying to get people to play. Taking the opportunity while it was just them there to quickly change out of his warm clothes from the trip outside, he pulled on a pair of dark green pyjama pants and a well-worn loose-fitting black t-shirt. He had made it a point to wear nothing but long sleeve shirts since he had been branded by the dark mark but in present company, he didn’t feel too awkward about it being visible. Though since the war he’d spent a fair amount of time trying to get rid of the faded mark. Trying everything from burning it, cutting it and trying to transfigure it away to no success. Though it was looking a little worse for wear.

Pansy interrupted his thoughts by bursting through the door dragging Daphne Greengrass and brandishing a bottle of elf-made wine.

“Let’s get fucked up!” she cried, and Daphne rolled her eyes before she too pulled a bottle out of her robes.

“Ah you girls have the key to my heart!” Theo crooned taking the wine and examining the labels.

“Oh, don’t tell me we’re going to have to put up with Pansy being wine-drunk again? She’s a mess.” Blaise laughed closing and locking the door behind him. He wasn’t going to let the drunk escape the room causing trouble.

Pansy flipped him the finger before taking a seat on a cushion. Theo sat to her left and Draco to his. Daphne lowered herself with poise that none of the rest possessed to Pansy right and Blaise lounged between her and Draco. Reaching into the middle of the circle Theo deposited the two bottles of wine and picked up one of the bottles of firewhisky.

“First things first,” he said cracking the seal and summoning five shot glasses, “Warm up shots.”

He poured each of them a shot and they each took one and held them up.

“To a night of sin!” Theo cheered and the all downed their drink.

Draco winced slightly; the burning of whisky was something that until he was several drinks in would knock the wind out of him.

“Game of truth or dare first?” he asked with a cheeky grin.

“Hell yeah!” Pansy giggled looking at Theo with a mischievous grin of her own.

Theo quickly transfigured their shot glasses into goblets, “Alright, fill your glass with your drink of choice. Rules are: if you aren’t asked to truth or dare you drink and if you refuse to do a dare you have to answer a truth and vice versa.” And giving the group a hard look, he added, “And let’s not bitch out yeah? We’ve been friends for years and nothing goes beyond this room.” He poured himself a goblet full of whisky and waited for the rest of the group to pour their own drinks before lying one of the wine bottles down preparing to spin it, “Whoever it lands on asks the first.”

He spun the bottle and after several shaky spins it landed on Draco.

The blond looked at each of his friends trying to decide who he was going to ask.

“Pansy.” He said finally looking at her.

The rest of the group took a drink while she thought.

“Truth.”

“Who was your first crush?” he asked with a smile.

Pansy giggled, “Celestina Warbeck when I was 8. I was obsessed with her.”

“God you’re so gay!” Theo said rolling his eyes.

“Like you can talk!” she drawled back. “My turn. Theo.”

He eyed her carefully, “Dare.”

“I dare you to take your pants off.” She said smugly.

Theo quickly shucked off his grey pants leaving him in his t-shirt and a pair of green satin boxers, grinning at her.

“You forget that Theo has no shame Pansy.” Blaise said rolling his eyes.

“She just wanted to look at my gorgeous legs.” Theo taunted.

Pansy shrieked with laughter, “Right, the raging lesbian wants nothing more than to perv at your matchstick legs Theo.”

Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively Theo pointed to Blaise. “Truth or dare my man.”

“Truth.”

Theo mimed stroking a beard, “Who was your latest conquest?”

Blaise raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean by conquest exactly? Are we talking fucking? Or everything up to and including sex?”

“Everything up to and or including sex.”

Blaise maintained eye contact with Theo, “Longbottom.”

Daphne almost dropped her drink. Pansy threw back her head laughing. Theo was gaping. And Draco gave Blaise a look that could only be translated as _‘what the fuck?’_

“Seriously?” Draco asked.

Blaise took a drink and simply nodded.

“But-“ Theo stuttered, “Aren’t- I thought you were straight?”

The dark-skinned boy shrugged, “So did I.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Pansy leant forward, “What have you done with him?”

“Only one question Pansy.” Blaise smirked and looked at Daphne, “You’re turn.”

***

Several rounds went by and they were well and truly tipsy. Daphne had accepted the dare to snog Pansy. Theo was now only wearing his boxers. Blaise had finally admitted that he’d made out with Longbottom behind the Herbology greenhouses and Draco had admitted that his most embarrassing moment had been accidentally walking in on his parents when he was 10, leading to several crass comments about what his mother’s arse looked like.

It was his turn and Draco looked at Theo, “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.”

“Are you in love with Potter?”

Theo choked on the mouthful of wine that he’d just taken. Pansy lent over to thump him on the back as he coughed, though Draco could tell that she was holding back a laugh.

Pulling himself together though very red in the face, whether it was from the question or the choking Draco couldn’t be sure, Theo rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“I don’t think I’d call it love…”

“…but you want him to suck your dick?” Blaise added lazily from his spot opposite Theo.

“I- I don’t think… I didn’t say that…” The brunette was now a vivid shade of red and avoiding eye contact with all of them.

“But you’d like him to?” Daphne questioned peering over the top of her goblet her eyes sparkling with amusement.

“I don’t know, we’ve just kissed… I don’t know if that even-”

Draco sat up straighter a very characteristically Malfoy smirk on his lips, “You kissed him?!”

Putting down his drink Theo picked up one of the cushions on the floor and buried his face into it howling in frustration.

Daphne and Pansy looked at each other, “Theo and Potter sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” they sang in unison and everyone laughed except Theo who smiled weakly still looking slight mortified.

“Fuck you guys. Let’s play snog, marry, kill.”

***

After countless rounds of snog, marry, kill which had deteriorated into Theo drunkenly asking to pick between the Giant Squid, a thestral and a flobberworm, everyone was very drunk and had found their way into one squished pile of bodies. Daphne was lightly snoring passed out against Pansy’s shoulder, she herself was leant against one of the beds, her head tipped back gazing at the ceiling. Blaise’s shirt was unbuttoned and was sprawled out on his back head propped against Daphne’s leg his eyes closed but it wasn’t certain if he was asleep or awake. Draco and Theo were pressed shoulder to shoulder still sipping on their drinks, sniggering to themselves about nothing in particular.

“Mm so what are you…” Draco was slurring pretty considerably at this point, “-what you going to do ‘bout Potter?”

Theo dropped his head on to his shoulder. “Dunno…” he garbled back, “I like him Dracooo” he whined.

“Tell ‘im then?”

The brunette smacked his chest lightly with the coordination of a drunk elephant on roller skates, “But he’s… Weasley.”

Draco groaned, “Fffffucking Weasley’s they always take the pretty one’s…” he muttered angrily thinking of how he watched Granger and Weasley arguing earlier and the tears that he’d spotted in her eyes as she left.

“Kiss him ‘till he forgets about her?” the blond suggested with a shrug.

“He ran away last time, so I don’t think that’s a goooood idea…”

Draco tipped his head back and rested against the end of the bed next to Pansy. He could never had predicted that this was how his life was going to turn out. A disgraced ex-death eater, back at Hogwarts and drunkenly talking to his friend about him snogging Potter.

“How’d we get here?”

He felt Theo’s head lift from his shoulder to tilt up to look at him, though he was still looking up, “The stairsss?”

Draco squinted down at him, “Don’t be a dick.”

“Sorry.” Theo shrugged against him, dropping his head back down to his shoulder. “My father would kill me if he knew what was going on now…”

“You’re telling me.” Draco laughed dryly.

Lucius would be simply appalled by his apology to Granger. As far as he could remember I don’t think his Father had ever apologised for anything in this life, and if he had he certainly didn’t mean it. But Draco had meant it. He didn’t’ think he could ever apologise enough for what he had to witness, and the guilt was aching in his chest. Tears burned at the corners of his eyes and squeezed them shut. The shame was fucking him up inside and he was scared. He was scared of his future. Scared of what might happen to his Mother. He was utterly terrified of trying to live his life outside of the walls of the castle. While it was far from perfect and people still hated him, he was at least somewhat protected by the teachers but on the outside, he shuddered, anything was possible. Looking down he saw that Theo had dropped off into a drunken sleep and Draco though his head still spinning closed his eyes and tried to drift off himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of drunken fun and truth spilling  
Lyrics are: 100 bad days by AJR


	14. I want to try this, us

_We’re dancing on the edge of something new, slow at first but still it seems_

_That we'll go down in history, as lovers from the start, just me and you_

_I’ve spent a thousand nights, lost in your emerald eyes_

_Lost in a place where I know you can see my soul, make me lose track of time_

***

**Theo**

Theo cracked an eye open and winced against the light, his head was pounding. He was also leaning against Draco’s shoulder. Straightening himself up he rubbed his eyes and took in the sight around him. They were all still on the floor where they were sitting drinking the night before, but Pansy and Daphne were curled up together to Draco’s right and Blaise was sprawled at their feet. Draco has his head on Pansy’s shoulder. Shivering Theo realised he was still only wearing his boxers. Sighing he quietly untangled his lanky legs from Draco’s and stood, grabbing onto on of the posts of the bed as the world spun for a moment. He usually didn’t mix his drinks for this very reason. Stumbling into the bathroom he stood at the sink and eyed his reflection. His hair was standing up on all angles and he looked a little pale, but otherwise okay. He grabbed his toothbrush and cleaned out the residue taste of whisky and wine. He turned on the shower and turned it up as hot as he could handle it. Standing under the scalding water he washed his hair as his mind wandered to the night before.

His memories of the night were hazy at best, but he did distinctly remember being teased about liking Harry. Blaise had said something else that was just out of reach of his mind. Thinking hard he ran his shampooed hair under the water. Suddenly he felt his knees go weak. He remembered what Blaise had said, he had joked that he wanted Harry to suck his dick. Theo felt aforementioned cock twitch slightly at the thought of Harry on his knees. Theo couldn’t deny that this wasn’t the first time that his mind had wandered to such thoughts. Sighing he took his now hard prick in his hand; it was going to be a long shower.

***

By the time he had finally emerged, clean but feeling a tad dirty at the same time, the rest of the eighth year Slytherins were either up or rousing.

“My turn.” Blaise said clapping him on the shoulder as he passed him.

Theo quietly went to his bed and begun pulling on a clean black button up shirt as Daphne and Pansy giggled their way out of the room.

“You feel as shit as I do?” Draco asked him from where he’d sunk down onto his bed clutching his head.

Theo nodded slowly, regretting the movement when the world spun again, “Like I’ve been stomped on.”

“Why do we do this to ourselves?”

“Suckers for punishment?” Theo shrugged. It was a good question, every time they drunk and suffered a wicked hangover, they asked the same thing and yet they kept doing it.

Theo’s stomach growled and he looked at his watch, it was lunch time. They had slept in. Thankfully it was Sunday and they hadn’t missed any classes. Keen to get something into his stomach and hopefully keep it down he hastily pulled on clean pants and a pair of black trousers.

“I’m starving, I’ll see you down there.” Theo called and he head Draco mutter something incomprehensible back.

Theo walked through the Slytherin common room and out into the corridor making his way to the Great Hall. Thankfully the world had stopped spinning dizzily and he was only suffering through one hell of a headache. Halfway up the stairs from the dungeons he was stopped a nervous looking Slytherin first year. He stopped short of him and simply held out a piece of parchment. The moment Theo took it he ran off, seemingly wanting to put as much distance between himself and Theo as he possibly could. Rolling his eyes, he unfolded the piece of parchment:

***

_Theo,_

_I need to talk to you._

_Meet me at the Quidditch pitch at 1pm._

_~ Harry_

***

Theo frowned they hadn’t spoken since he had kissed, and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear what he was going to say. It was bound to be a polite let down. But there was a small chance that it wouldn’t be. Glancing at his watch he figured he had time to shovel some greasy food into his mouth before making his way down to the pitch.

So, he made quick work of getting to the great hall and eating a sizable portion of pie and sausages before leaving the castle. His lunch had been so brief that Blaise and Draco still hadn’t appeared before he had left. Walking outside he was hit by the chilly September air and wished that he’d brought a coat. Instead he rolled down the perpetually rolled up cuffs of his shirt and headed down to the Quidditch pitch. The fresh air and stomach full of food was helping his hangover immensely, the pounding headache was now nothing more that a dull reminder behind his eyes.

He spotted Harry flying around the empty quidditch pitch. Theo had never played quidditch himself except the 1 on 1 games they often played at Draco’s house when they were kids. He was far from terrible, but playing had never interested him, much to his father’s chagrin. He’d watched Harry in matches of course, not even because he had a particular interest in him, it was just obvious the talent that he had for it and he gave Draco a run for his money which Theo often pointed out to taunt him. Harry was circling the pitch; he wasn’t showing off any complicated moves which made him think that he was deep in thought. For someone that was easily twice his weight he had a grace that Theo could only hope to possess, it was mesmerising.

Harry seemed to spot him and made his way down. Landing his propped his broom against the side of the pitch and walked over to where Theo was standing.

“You came!” Harry sounded both surprised and relieved.

Theo nodded trying not to stare at the way Harry’s windswept hair made him even more handsome, “curiosity got the better of me I guess…” he dug his hands into his pockets, kicking at the ground, “Why am I here?”

Shifting his footing the Gryffindor looked at him for a moment. “I uh… broke up with Ginny.”

“Oh…?” His eyes widened, that hadn’t been what he was expecting to hear at all. He had been prepared for the ‘_I’m flattered but I’m not gay speech’ _this was unchartered territory and he could do nothing but stare at the other boy.

“Yeah,” he looked like he was struggling to find the words, “After the kiss I-”

“-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Theo raised his hands in defence voice beginning to shake, “I didn’t want you two to break up I-”

“-realised I might not be 100% straight.” Harry said firmly cutting off his rambling.

Theo knew that he was just gaping at this point, “I- you- what?” he asked. He couldn’t wrap his read around what was happening right now.

Harry took a step closer to him and Theo audibly gulped, “I don’t think I’m straight Theo,” he said looking directly into his eyes.

“Oh okay… so what are you going to do?”

Another step closer and they were almost toe-to-toe now.

“I want to try this,” he gestured between them, “us.”

Harry leant closer and Theo put a hand on his chest stopping him.

“This isn’t some sort of sick joke, right?” Theo asked nervously, inches away from Harry’s face, “I don’t think my heart could handle it.”

“Never.” Harry’s lips descended onto his and his hand dropped limply to his side.

It was far from a perfect kiss; the height difference alone was making for weird angles and posture. But Theo also found himself melting into it. The feel of Harry’s slightly chapped lips against his soft ones was enough to elicit a soft moan from him. Harry pulled away for a second to chuckle softly before Theo cupped his cheeks and pulled in again for another kiss. This one was needier and soon Theo’s tongue was lightly swiping at Harry’s lower lip. Harry opened his mouth and they deepened the kiss, tongues toying with each other. Theo felt all his blood head south and he regrettably pulled away breathing heavily.

“Wow…” he mumbled.

“Yeah, wow.” Harry choked out, looking well and truly flustered.

Theo shifted uncomfortably trying to subtly relieve the pressure on his erection. He felt like a horny teenager all over again.

“So…” he started biting at his lip.

“So…” Harry agreed.

“Where do we go from here?” Theo asked quietly, still bracing himself for this whole thing to blow up in his face and the entirety of the school to jump out of nowhere and laugh him off the pitch.

Harry thought for a moment, “Could I take you on a date?”

Blushing Theo nodded, “Yeah, I- I’d like that.”

Grinning the Gryffindor took his hand, “Me too.” Harry looked at his watch and sighed, “I’ve got to go, I need to mediate between Hermione and Ron again.”

“Are they okay?” Theo asked genuinely thinking back to the argument he and Draco had witnessed the day before.

Harry shrugged, “I don’t even know what is going on when them right now. They just seem to be fighting all the time these days.” He looked exhausted by the thought.

Theo squeezed his hand, “It’s not your job to play mediator between them Harry, look after yourself.”

“I know.” He leant over and brushed one last chaste kiss against Theo’s lips before dropping his hand to walk over to pick up his broom. Walking back over to Theo where he was still frozen to the spot and offered his hand. “Going back to the castle?”

Theo shook his head, he needed a moment to collect himself before he headed back, “I’m going to take a walk, the fresh air is helping the hangover.” He caught Harry frowning at him, and he quickly clarified, “Oh it was just some drinking games for the eighth year Slytherin’s, you should come a long next time.”

Rolling his eyes, he reached up to place a kiss against Theo’s temple and began walking away, “Maybe I will.” He called over his shoulder as he left the pitch.

Once he was out of sight Theo exhaled deeply. This wasn’t at all how he’d planned his day to turn and he was well and truly lost as to what to do next. Part of him wanted to go and squeal like Pansy often did to Draco about what had happened and part of him wanted to just savour the moment for a little longer, committing to memory the way that Harry’s lips felt against his in case he woke up from the dream he was obviously in. Lowering himself down to the grass of the pitch Theo twisted his hands in the grass trying to ground himself, he felt fuzzy and he was certain this wasn’t from the hangover. He was definitely in love with Harry, there was no other explanation for the twisting in his stomach, the fluttering of his heart and the stirring in his pants and Harry obviously liked him back at least a little. Theo flopped back against the grass a smile playing at his mouth, he couldn’t think of a better Sunday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some gay boy action, get in!  
I've also updated the rating to explicit because things are going to get steamier from here on in.  
Lyrics are: Emerald Eyes by Anson Seabra


	15. Ugh, I hate that you're right

_I love it when we hang out, In your tree house after dark_

_And when you hang my heart against the wall, and play with darts_

_I know it's kinda sad but you're the only home I got, I promise I will love you even with my broken heart_

***

**Hermione**

Waking up on Monday morning Hermione took a moment to herself before she got up to go to breakfast and head to Herbology. She had spent yesterday avoiding Ron. Not that she had to try very hard, he hadn’t exactly come looking for her. Normally she’d be the one to buckle and go back to him to apologise but she’d made vow not to do that any longer. She was tired of having to be the one to compromise all the time, how could their relationship evolve if she constantly had to placate him.

Hauling herself out of bed she made quick work of showering and dressing before heading down to breakfast alone. Spooning herself a portion of porridge she chewed thoughtfully. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do about Ron. On one hand being with him was convenient but on the other she knew that she shouldn’t have to justify her actions to him all the time. He didn’t understand why she had accepted Malfoy’s apology. So what? He didn’t need to. He could have tried to understand or at the very least just been supportive. She had her reasons and if Ron thought that she was just going to continue the years long grudge with Malfoy, he was wrong.

Speaking of Malfoy, she looked over to the Slytherin table. He was deep in conversation with Nott who was animatedly telling him a story, waving a sausage-skewered fork around for emphasis. Malfoy glanced in her direction and rolling his eyes at her. She flushed and looked down at her porridge and continued eating.

She still didn’t quite know to act around Malfoy. They were sort of on good terms now despite Ron not wanting them to be. They hadn’t spoken since the apology, but he’d nodded her acknowledgement when he saw her, and she made a point to smile and wave. She’d heard a few whispers around the common room that she had to be under the affects of something to be polite to him. It was the stories of Harry being imperiused for the trial all over again. Why couldn’t people just accept that people could change?

Scrapping her bowl, she finished her breakfast and made her way down to the Herbology greenhouses, she was going to take the opportunity of being early to sit outside and enjoy the rare warm day. She sank down to the grass outside greenhouse 3 and leant against the wall. It was calm and Hermione tried to also feel calm. It wasn’t a feeling that she’d felt in a long while and she had been actively trying to let herself feel relaxed to try and train her out of the habit of constantly being on high alert. So far it wasn’t going well, she was always listening out for danger and practically had one hand on her wand at all times.

Taking a deep breath, she let her mind wander as she watched the other eighth year student’s cross the lawn towards her. The atmosphere between the houses was slowly thawing thanks to the forced interactions between them from professors like McGonagall. Harry and Nott seemed to be getting on well as did Neville and Blaise. There was still and air of distrust towards Malfoy and Parkinson, but they weren’t getting verbally assaulted by the others anymore, just avoided.

Once they had all assembled Professor Sprout stepped out of the classroom and shepherded them in and made her way to the front of the class signalling the beginning of the lesson.

“This morning we’ll be harvesting Bursting Mushrooms to replenish Professor Slughorn’s stores for his second years.” She indicated over her shoulder to the collection of pots sporting collections of red and white spotted fungi. “They will shrink and explode if you get too close so be creative about your approach. Pair up! And don’t forget your dragon-hide gloves they will give you a nasty burn if you’re not careful.”

Hermione looked around at the rest of the eighth years avoiding Ron and Harry’s eyes and caught Nott’s gaze. He chucked her a lazy grin and ambled over to her.

“Pair?” he asked.

She shrugged in response, “Sure.”

The pulled on their gloves in silence and then observed the mushrooms wearily.

“Any ideas genius?” Nott asked her, it could easily have come across as sarcastic, but Hermione felt that he was being genuine.

“One,” she answered, “A Disillusionment Charm.”

Nott nodded slowly clearly impressed, “I’m assuming you can cast one? I wouldn’t have a clue.”

Hermione simply pulled her wand out of her cloak and tapped it once hard on the top of her partners head. Slowly he began to blend into the greenhouse surroundings.

“So I have to do the harvesting, clever Granger.” He laughed and brushed past her to collect the pot and move it over to a free workspace.

“I was actually going to cast one on myself too but maybe I should leave you to it.” she retorted mockingly.

Though barely visible she could tell that he was flipping her off so quickly waved her wand around her and she too begun to melt into the surroundings. Standing shoulder to shoulder the began slicing the mushrooms from the pot.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what were you and Weasley arguing about the other day?”

If she’d been visible her face would be bright red, “Not that it’s any of your business, Ron and I had a disagreement about Malfoy.”

Nott laughed, “You won’t be the first and you certainly won’t be the last. What did he do this time?”

“He didn’t do anything, that’s the thing.” Hermione sliced another mushroom off rather aggressively, “Malfoy apologised to me and Ron didn’t like that I’d accepted it.”

“Dick.”

Hermione whipped her head to look at him scowling, but quickly remembered that he couldn’t see her.

“Hey!-”

“- Sorry I know he’s your boyfriend, but that’s a dick move.” He tossed another mushroom into the bucket they were collecting them in. “No wonder Harry’s stressed out.”

“What?”

Nott swore under his breath, “We were, ah… talking earlier and he mentioned that he was mediating between you too again.”

Hermione sighed, Harry was often caught in the middle of their arguments and she felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She hated putting him in that position, “If it means anything, I don’t want him to be our mediator…”

“He’s a stubborn git though he won’t give up that position easily.”

It was Hermione’s turn to laugh, “You’re not wrong there.”

They worked in silence for a few more minutes before Nott spoke again:

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” She admitted, “I want to work things out but…”

He placed a hand on her shoulder, she was impressed by his accuracy considering he couldn’t see her. “But you’re tired of compromising with him?” he supplied.

“Yeah.”

“Look, I know that it’s absolutely not my business and I’m not someone you’d usually want to listen to but maybe you two need to take a break and try and work out what _exactly_ you want from a relationship.” He removed his hand from her shoulder and sliced the last mushroom from the pot, “Otherwise you’re going to be plaything this game of compromising forever.”

Hermione was silent for several moments. Her Gryffindor pride was gagging to tell him that he had no idea what he was talking about but admittedly he was making a whole lot of sense. She glanced at Ron out of the corner of her eye, he was working with Harry across the greenhouse nursing a couple of burns as the tried to slice the mushrooms using a severing charm from several feet away.

“Ugh, I hate that you’re right.”

Nott laughed, “I may give off the air of incompetence but I’m not always an idiot.”

She joined him in laughing, “I never said you’re an idiot.”

“Careful Granger you’ll inflate my ego.”

She didn’t respond and instead cast the counter spell and waited as they slowly came back into view. He was leaning his hip against the table looking at her.

She stuck two fingers up at him and waved over Professor Sprout.

“Done already? Twenty points to Slytherin and Gryffindor. You two can go if you like.”

Hermione peeled off her gloves and stuffed them into her cloak. Nott was still looking at her.

“What?” she snapped.

“You’re alright Granger.”

She gave him a confused look, “Gee, thanks.”

He smirked, “I meant it as a compliment. Good luck with everything.”

She flashed him a small smile and picked up her bag to head out. She was going to go to the library and plan her next step regarding her relationship with Ron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theo is a soft helpful boi and ya'll can't convince me otherwise  
Lyrics are: 7UP by Boy in Space


	16. I just don't understand

_We've got our aim but we might miss, we are too fragile just to guess_

_And I've been in this place before, fine as we are but we want more_

_That's human nature at its best, what if we ruin it all, and we love like fools?_

_And all we have we lose? And I don't want you to go but I want you so_

_So tell me what we choose_

***

**Ron**

Ron had spent every moment outside of class and mealtimes at the Quidditch pitch flying around to try and clear his head. He totally wasn’t avoiding Hermione after their latest spat. He didn’t feel like he was in the wrong with this one. He couldn’t work out Malfoy’s motives for apologising to her, but they had to be bad, it was Malfoy after all. And for the life of him he couldn’t work out why she had accepted it. Sure, Malfoy was supposed to be ‘reformed’ or whatever bullshit term the Ministry had dubbed him, but he was still an ex-death eater. The one who tasked with killing Dumbledore, the one who stood by and watched as his psychopath aunt tortured Hermione.

He was sitting alone in the Common Room, it was late, and he’d come in from flying long after dark, he couldn’t believe his luck that he had made it back through the castle without being caught out after curfew. He was trying to warm his frozen hands and feet in front of the smouldering embers of the fire. He was exhausted but couldn’t bring himself to move to bed so instead he vacantly stared at the glowing coals.

He was lost as what to do next in terms of Hermione, he didn’t feel like he should be the one apologising this time. They had had an actual conversation about communicating properly and she had kept the apology to herself and had gone off at him when he protested the legitimacy. He was used to her being a little all over the place, it came with her being her, but this was ridiculous. He couldn’t read her moods anymore. She was hot and cold without a moments warning and he didn’t know what to do about it. He sighed heavily. Why did it have to be so complicated?

He stilled at the sound of slippers scuffing down the dormitory stairs and he turned his head to see Hermione descending the stairs yawning. Her already bushy hair was wild like she had been tossing and turning in bed. She silently made her way over to him and he didn’t speak, opting instead to just stare at her with an air of suspicion. She sat down on the sofa next to him.

“Listen Ron, I need to talk to you about something…” Hermione couldn’t meet his eyes and instantly his anxiety was on the rise.

“What is it?”

“I- we need to take a break…” she whispered finally looking at him.

His mouth dropped open and Ron felt his eyes well up with tears, “I don’t understand, I thought we were working on this?” he almost pleaded reaching out and gripping her hands in his own.

“We were…” she took a breath, “we are. I just need some time to work things out…”

“What things?” he snapped.

Hermione exhaled heavily looking a little annoyed, “Ron, I need to work out what I’m looking for in a relationship. We both do.”

“I want you.” He pleaded.

“I know you do.” She squeezed his hands voice wavering, “I want you too, but not like this. Not where you are so scared to lose me that I have to justify my actions to you.”

Tears were now falling freely down his face, “I just don’t understand.”

Hermione sniffed hard, a tear rolling down her cheek and he resisted the urge to wipe it away.

“This just isn’t healthy. We’re snapping at each other all the time and then avoiding apologising and…” she released her hands from his to smooth back her hair, “we just need to sort ourselves out. We’re both a mess right now.”

Ron couldn’t fault that; they were both dealing with their trauma in very different ways. It didn’t mean that he wanted to break up with her though. “Can’t we do that together?”

She shook her head solemnly, “I need to do this alone and I think so do you.”

He dropped his head to his chest and letting out a soft strangled cry, he couldn’t believe that this was happening right now.

“I’m so sorry Ron, I don’t want to hurt you-”

“’Well you already have!” he snapped back at her looking up at her, his tear stained face flushed and blue eyes flashing. “You’ve just ripped my heart out. I told you how much I didn’t want to lose you not two days ago and now look at what you’re doing!”

“You haven’t lost me Ron!” she cried beginning to cry in earnest, “I’m still here I just need to work out my priorities.”

“It’s not the same Hermione and you damn well know it.”

“Ron please-” she reached out to take his hand again and he snatched them away.

“No, I don’t want to hear it.” He choked out, “I did everything you asked of me, I opened up about what fucking happened, and we have a small disagreement about the ferret-faced git and you’re ready to call it quits. Did he put you up to this then huh?” his voice was starting to rise but he was trying very hard to not wake the rest of the house from their sleep, “He want me out of the way so he can fuck you? Is that it.”

Hermione looked ill, “No!” she spat indignantly, “Is that all you think of me? That I’m not capable of my own thoughts? That I need a man to make me happy?”

He shrugged bitterly.

“Well then you know less about me than I thought. I thought in 7 years of friendship that you would know that I’m perfectly capable of thinking for myself.” Her face was pink with anger and she looked like she was restraining herself from slapping him.

“Well fine. It’s over then.” Ron was beyond crying now, a familiar feeling of numbness that he had felt with Fred had died was beginning to settle over him.

“Ron…” she started softly.

“Fuck off!”

Hermione gave him a sad look and stood up from the couch. “I’m sorry.” She whispered and ran from the Common Room sobbing quietly.

Ron ran his hands over his face, scrubbing the remnants of his tears away. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. Sighing he too left the Common Room to go to bed, not that he could see much in the way of sleep in his future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a really short chapter today but there is a longer one coming tomorrow and brace yourself for some smut!  
Lyrics are: Fools by Lauren Aquilina


	17. I've never done anything like-

_I'd like to know your middle name, let's talk about your parents and your future dreams_

_I'm interested but distant to your fault, and I'd never want to complicate your heart_

_I've gotta let you know, that I think that I love you so_

_You could be my only one, 'cause I think that I love you so_

***

**Harry**

Harry waited a week to approach Theo to ask him on a date. For several reasons; he didn’t want to appear too keen and he was also very aware of the rumour mill within Hogwarts and didn’t want to add fuel to what was already being said about his breakup with Ginny. Not to mention he had spent a good portion of the last several days talking with Ron about his breakup with Hermione and didn’t want to come across as an asshole by ditching his friend for a date. Thankfully Ron had begun to get his head straight and felt okay leaving him alone for a night. He had scribbled a note to Theo earlier that day to meet him at the Room of Requirement during dinner. He was relying heavily on the Room for providing a lot of the hard work but nevertheless he made sure to shower, brush his teeth and dress nicely. He had even tried to tame his hair; it hadn’t really worked. He’d had one hair cut since the war bringing it from his shoulders back into a shaggy mop akin to how he had worn it in his 4th year. While great for hiding his scar it certainly had its mind of its own and often looked like a bird’s nest. But it was combed. He was now picking at the soft material of his grey sweater as he paced the 7th floor corridor waiting for the brunette to appear, hoping he wouldn’t be stood up.

Theo took that moment to come skidding around the corner, panting he drew up to him.

“Sorry I’m late, I lost track of time and then getting from the dungeons to the 7th floor in a timely fashion at dinner time is impossible.”

Harry grinned and shrugged, “I’m just glad you arrived.”

He took a moment to admire Theo. His cheeks were still flushed from the exertion. He was wearing another of his fitted button up shirts, this one was a dark blue that made the blue of his eyes shine. And he was grinning back at him. Harry’s stomach lurched, that smile made his whole face come alive.

Pulling himself together he turned to pace in front of the wall, ‘_I need a place for a date, I need a place for a date, I need a place for a date._’ Smiling to himself as the door appeared before him, he reached out to take Theo’s hand and lead him through the door. He looked around as the door closed behind them. The room had transformed into what Harry could only describe as something resembling a miniature version of the Gryffindor common room. It was a small cosy room with a roaring fireplace along one wall and a plush loveseat opposite. In front of the couch was a low coffee table with platters of nibbles. He breathed a sigh of relief; they were missing dinner after all and they still needed to eat. Wall sconces of flickering candles added to the dim romantic lighting.

“Wow,” Theo said in awe, “this is beautiful.”

Harry nodded in agreement; it really was. He led Theo over to the couch and pulled him down next to them. Their knees were touching as they sat looking at each other. He took the chance to drop Theo’s hand and instead brought it around the back of his head pulling him towards him and kissed him hard. Apart from classes they hadn’t really been in close proximity since the day on the Quidditch pitch and Harry had missed the feeling of Theo’s lips against his more than he cared to admit. He pulled back when he heard Theo’s stomach grumble.

Laughing he picked up a platter that was laden with sandwiches and sat it between them on their knees, “Food is probably a good idea.”

Theo nodded and took a sandwich taking a bite and chewing thoughtfully.

Harry took one himself, “What’s on your mind?” he asked before taking a bite himself.

He swallowed, “This just isn’t how I expected this year to go.”

Laughing Harry agreed, “Yeah, you’re telling me.” He studied Theo’s face carefully, “But I’m happy that it’s going this way.”

“Oh, me too. That wasn’t what I was implying. I-“ his words tumbling out in a frantic panic.

Harry placed a hand on his shoulder, “It’s okay, I know.”

Theo nodded, cheeks red. He busied himself by finishing his sandwich. Harry smiled fondly at him; he was adorable when he was flustered.

“So, who’s the real Theodore Nott?” he asked around a mouthful of chicken sandwich.

Theo cocked his head at him, “What do you want to know?” he asked suddenly cagey.

“Anything you feel comfortable to share.” Harry clarified, “I’m not about to force you to reveal anything you don’t want to. And I promise that I will in turn share about myself.”

The brunette nodded slowly, “There isn’t much to share really. Grew up with my mother and father until I was 9, then… you know what happened to her.” He ran a hand through his hair, “Spent a fair chunk of my childhood at Draco’s house since our fathers were friends and Pansy was often there since it had been agreed that I was to marry her.”

Harry choked on his mouthful, “You- were meant to marry Pansy?”

Theo laughed, “Yeah, ultimate family merger. Draco was to marry one of the Greengrass sisters and I was to marry Pansy. Works out quite well that we’re both gay. Not that that mattered to my father he just wanted me to have the next heir.”

Bemused Harry shook his head, pureblood traditions were still very much beyond him. “When did you guys work out that you were gay?” he asked cautiously, he was still very much working out his own sexuality, so he was genuinely curious.

“Pansy knew from when she was about 8, she had a _HUGE_ crush on Celestina Warbeck the singer.” He smirked, “I didn’t really give it much thought until I was about 13 but looking back, I probably knew for a while that things were a bit different; my father certainly saw it enough to... y’know…” He leant forward to grab a goblet of pumpkin juice that had appeared on the table, taking a mouthful he ran a dainty fingertip around the rim of the cup, “Then when I was 13 I kissed a boy at one of the many Malfoy Manor parties. My dad caught us and…” he trailed off with a shiver.

Moving the platter off their knees Harry put it and the goblet Theo was holding back on the table and adjusted in his seat so that he could wrap his arm around Theo’s shoulders and pulled him close. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anymore if you don’t want to.”

Theo slowly relaxed into Harry’s grip resting his head in the crook of his neck and nodded, “It wasn’t good anyway.” He finished lamely, “My sexuality was the only act of rebellion that I had, so even though he could have killed me for it I never shied away from it.”

Harry smiled into the top of Theo’s head, “I’m proud of you.”

Theo blushed burrowing his head further into Harry’s neck. “What about you golden boy? What’s the man behind the legend?”

Harry let out a hearty laugh, “I don’t know what’s said about my childhood, but it wasn’t glamourous.”

“Oh, come one now. No dragon fighting in your childhood?” he joked.

“Ha, far from it.” He replied, “I was raised by my aunt and uncle with my cousin. They were pretty terrible. I spent the first 11 years living in a cupboard under the stairs-”

Theo pulled out of his embrace and whipped around to look at him, eyes flashing dangerously, “They what?!”

Harry shrugged, “It was nothing really…”

“They kept you in a cupboard.” He retorted appalled.

“I mean, I guess. They weren’t as bad as-”

Theo put his hand up to stop him, “This isn’t a competition Harry.” He thought for a moment, “What about you always coming to Hogwarts looking like you hadn’t eaten in weeks, was that them too?”

He shrugged again, “Yeah I suppose so.”

“Fucking hell. Both of our childhoods sucked.” Theo let out a hollow laugh.

Harry gave him a weak smile in return.

Theo kicked his shoes off and tucked his legs up under him and leant back into Harry’s chest, his ear pressed again his heart. Harry was sure that he would be able to hear his heart thudding and once again he wrapped his arm around his thin shoulders.

“So what’s the next adventure for the chosen one?”

Harry dug his free hand into Theo’s ribs, and he yelped, “you’re such a dick.” He chuckled, “I don’t know… The auror lifestyle isn’t particularly appealing to me anymore.”

“Had enough of the saving the world business?”

“Something like that… What about you?” Harry asked.

Theo was silent for a moment, “I don’t know, I’m not likely to get a lot in terms of work with my family name…”

“I can help with that-”

“-I know you can, but I don’t want to live off your testimony. No offence.”

“No, you’re right…” Harry could see exactly where Theo was coming from. He couldn’t imagine how it would feel to feel indebted to someone that way.

They let the silence hang for a few minutes before Theo pulled away from their embrace once again. “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of playing 20 questions…” Theo looked at him mischievously.

Harry leant back into the plump cushion of the sofa eyeing him. “What did you have in mind?”

The Slytherin leant forward, “Just tell me when to stop.” He whispered before kissing him.

The kiss was hot and needy, and Harry quickly allowed access to Theo’s tongue. His hands reaching around to knot themselves in his soft brown hair. He could barely think as their lips moved against each other. He hardly registered Theo moving until he was straddling his legs and his weight came into contact with his growing erection. Hissing Harry nipped at Theo’s bottom lip. He untangled his hands and clumsily began undoing the buttons of the Slytherin’s shirt. It took him several goes to get the top two undone as Theo was scratching at his scalp relieving all blood flow from his brain. Once he had his shirt open, he pushed it off his narrow shoulders and pulled away from the kiss. Theo made a noise of protest which quickly morphed into a needy growl as Harry instead nipped as his neck, his hands roaming the expanse of his bare back.

Theo threw his head back in ecstasy, giving Harry more access to his neck. He made his way down to his collarbone, ignoring the fact that he was probably leaving marks on the pale skin of the other boy. Theo reflexively ground his hips down on Harry and it was his turn to let out a guttural moan at the pressure.

“Fuck.” Harry hissed pulling away from his attack on Theo’s collar bone.

Taking the opportunity Theo made quick work of pulling off Harry’s sweater and t-shirt so the were both topless. Breathing heavily his eyes hungrily roamed the Gryffindor’s chest before he slid from his position on his lap to settle in front of him between his knees, hands reaching for the fly of his pants.

Harry stilled for a moment, a slight panic settling in his chest. This was getting real, fast.

“I-”

Theo stilled and looked up at him, “Should I stop?”

He didn’t want Theo to stop, he was aching for release but… “I’ve never done anything like-”

Theo rose up on his knees to look him in the eyes, “I know Harry. I wasn’t going to shag you today, even I’m not ready for that,” he said with a smile. “I was just going to relieve some of the pressure.” He indicated to the noticeable bulge in Harry’s pants.

Harry swallowed thickly, Merlin that sounded good right now, he nodded slowly, “Okay, go slow.”

“Are you sure?”

“_Please_…” he whined in answer.

Chuckling quietly to himself Theo’s hands went to his crotch. Making quick work of the button and fly of his trousers Harry lifted his hips slightly so they could be pulled down enough to let his cock spring free. Theo admired it for a moment, sucking air through his teeth. It was red and aching to be touched. Carefully Theo took it in his hands and Harry involuntarily bucked his hips in response.

“Fuck Theo.” He moaned.

Grinning he began moving his hands up and down his shaft rhythmically, drawing soft moans from Harry’s chapped lips. He’d closed his eyes and his head was thrown back. Then without warning Theo’s hot mouth was on the head of his penis.

Harry’s eyes snapped open as he felt himself spasm, “Theo…” he sighed, hands moving either side of his head, “_fuckkk…_”

Theo hummed around his cock and began bobbing his head, one hand still gripping the base of his prick the other digging into his hip.

Harry felt like he’d died and gone to heaven. He didn’t know a feeling like it. The way that Theo’s tongue was moving around his dick was enough to have him seeing stars. He was using his hands either side of his head to help guide Theo and he was trying his best not to buck too hard against him. But he wasn’t going to last long.

Theo swirled his tongue around the tip of his dick and Harry groaned loudly, an all too familiar feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach “Theo I’m gonna-”

He was cut off by Theo taking as much of him in his mouth as he could and Harry bucked one last time as he came hard, hands tugging at the hair in his hands. Theo slowly let his softening cock slip from his lips swallowing Harry’s seed.

Leaning back Theo looked up at Harry who was panting, “Holy shit.” He remarked breathlessly.

Grinning Theo rose to sit back down beside him and kissed him gently on the check. “Holy shit is right.”

Wiping a hand over his face he glanced nervously at the bulge still evident in Theo’s pants, “Did you want me to-?”

“No, it’s okay,” Theo chuckled, “No offence but I don’t think you’re ready for that.”

Relieved Harry nodded, “I think you’re probably right…”

“You can owe me one.” Theo flashed him a trademark grin.

Harry laughed and tucked himself back into his pants and did up his trousers.

“I hate to blow and run, but it’s getting close to curfew.” Theo stated glancing at his watch.

Nodding they both rose and quickly donned their shirts that had been tossed aside. Theo stooped down to give Harry one last chaste kiss.

“Thank you for an amazing date, I’d love to do this again.”

Nodding he pulled Theo close for a hug, “Same time next week?” he whispered in his ear.

“It’s a date.”

And with the agreement of a date next week they both slipped out of the Room of Requirement and went their separate ways, Harry still wobbly on his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut! gey smut! but be warned things won't be happy forever  
Lyrics are: telephone by waterparks  
ps I'm putting together a spotify playlist of all the songs being used in this fic so that you can listen to them if you want


	18. It's not Malfoy's fault

_Watch me as my world burns down, you kicked me down and stole my crown_

_Though my heart is telling me to go, I just gotta let you know_

_That you sunk my ship and then you let me drown, I've seen heartbreaks, sad days_

_Torn up, bad craves, but I have never felt pain like this, and all I ask of you is..._

***

**Draco**

Draco walked with Theo down to breakfast that morning. Theo had been fizzing all night after his date with Potter and Draco feared that without supervision, he was bound to start literally bouncing off the walls. He’d saved himself from hearing about all the sordid details, but he worked out enough from what had been implied that he felt a little sick. He didn’t need to know what he now knew about Potter and had made Theo swear to stop talking about it to him. He had to be a little happy for his friend. Theo had been in as tricky of a spot as he had with his father, though he didn’t have his mother like Draco had. So having something going so well for him and to see him so happy was certainly heart-warming.

Sitting down Draco chewed at a piece of toast, rolling his eyes and Theo began telling Pansy in a loud whisper about what he had gotten up to. He didn’t even acknowledge mail arriving until an owl landed in front of him. Surprised he glanced at his friends, Theo and Pansy also had an owl each sitting in front of them. Taking the letter from the owl’s leg he examined it closely, recognising immediately the Ministry of Magic

“Are yours Ministry too?” he asked quietly.

They both nodded and Pansy stuffed the letter in her robes and stood up.

“I don’t give a shit what it says, I’ll see you in History of Magic.” She stalked out of the Hall.

Breaking the seal on the letter Draco pulled out and unfolded the short message.

***

_Dear Mr Draco Lucius Malfoy_

_We are writing to inform you that as of 10th of September 1998 the Department of Magical Law Enforcement in conjunction with the Wizengamot decreed that as punishment for crimes pertaining to aiding He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in the Second Wizarding War Death Eaters housed at Azkaban will be subjected to the Dementors Kiss._

_Therefore, on the night of the 1st of November 1998 at 8pm the Dementors Kiss will be preformed on Lucius Abraxas Malfoy._

_An arrangement for visitation or attendance can be organised at your request._

_Yours regretfully,_

_John Dawlish_

_Head Auror, Ministry of Magic_

***

Draco felt as all the wind had just been knocked out of him. He looked up to look at Theo. He had gone pale and looked about ready to cry. But before Draco could say anything to him, he had crumpled the letter he was holding in his hand and had swung his legs out from under the table and taken off out of the Great Hall.

He couldn’t believe what he had just read. Dementors were being removed from Azkaban due to their allegiance to the Dark Lord during the war but getting the number of aurors required to take over was slow going, so there were still a few remaining at the prison in the short term. Nevertheless, it had been made clear by Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt that there wasn’t going to be any further dementors kisses preformed and yet they had some how overturned that for the likes of his Father and from what it seemed Pansy and Theo’s fathers too.

Draco could feel his heart thudding in his chest, while he held no sympathy for his Father due to his actions and strongly believed that he should rot in prison, there was a big difference between a life sentence and getting one’s soul sucked out of them. Even Draco couldn’t justify the use of such a punishment on anyone but the Dark Lord himself. It was barbaric. At the end of the day for better or for worse Lucius was still his Father. While they had always kept themselves at a distance from one another there was still always going to be the obligation of loyalty to his family.

He hadn’t realised how long he had sat frozen, lost in thought until the bustle of students moving to head to class roused him. Standing he began to walk from the Great Hall. Once in the entrance way Draco spotted a familiar head of messy black hair and before he could think through what was happening, he had rushed over, yanked on Potters arm and swung. His hand connected with the other boy’s chin and he was pretty sure he heard something in his hand crack. All the students in the immediate vicinity froze at the sound staring apprehensively between the two of them. Draco was panting heavily as he tried to keep his emotions in check, hand throbbing, Potter was just staring back at him in shock, his hand coming up to rub at his jaw.

“What the fuck?” he asked quietly clearly confused about the outburst.

“My fucking father, they’re gonna-” Draco drew a ragged breath as he began to cry, “they’re gonna fucking-” he couldn’t finish the sentence and he thrust the letter into Potter’s hand, “This wasn’t meant to… you were supposed to stop-”

Potter had looked down at the crumpled letter and unfurled it to read it. His eyes quickly scanned it and he frowned.

“Fuck.” He hissed, “I’m sorry I-”

“Mister Malfoy, Mister Potter what on _earth_ is going on here?!” McGonagall called sternly approaching them. The students watching them began to slip away, casting looks over their shoulder to try and watch for as long as they could without being told off.

Draco couldn’t look at her, he had his arms wrapped around his lithe frame still sobbing quietly. His hand and chest both aching.

“It’s not Malfoy’s fault.” Potter stated quickly.

“Is that so? From what I heard he attacked you unprovoked?” she peered over her glasses looking between the two of them.

Potter shook his head emphatically “It was not unprovoked.” He glanced at Draco’s shaking form in concern, “Misguided but not unprovoked.”

McGonagall frowned she was still scrutinising them carefully.

“Headmistress,” Potter said quietly, “His hand needs looked at, I think he may have broken something.”

“Very well,” she said ushering them down the corridor, “We will go to the Hospital Wing to treat Mister Malfoy’s hand and then the both of you can explain why in Godric’s name you are fighting like children in the corridor.”

Potter nodded and walked along side Draco.

Draco’s legs felt like lead as he mindlessly walked down the corridor. He felt unstable on his feet, his breathing was laboured as he tried to get a hold of himself. But no matter how much he inhaled he couldn’t seem to get enough oxygen into him. The edges of his vision began to fade, and he felt himself stumble over his feet, heart thudding in his ears.

Potter looked over to him and instinctively grabbed his arm to help steady him.

“Headmistress…” his voice full of concern.

She looked at him and a flicker of concern came over her face, “Quickly, just around the corner, I’ll alert Madam Pomfrey of our arrival.”

Draco could barely breath and hardly registered that Potter had pulled his arm around his shoulders to assist him to walk the last several meters to the Hospital Wing. His head was racing with images of his Father having his soul sucked out of him, his mother suffering the same fate and dementors swooping down at him.

He was gently pushed down to sit on the edge of a bed. His eyes were sweeping the room in a panic, but he couldn’t focus on anything. He was losing it.

Madam Pomfrey looked at him waving her wand to try and determine what he needed, “Elevated heart rate, breathing difficulties…” she muttered.

Potter swore quietly and pushed past them where he had been sitting on a bed opposite him and instead kneeling in front of him.

“Malfoy…” he said trying meet his eyes, which were still darting. “Draco!” He repeated more loudly.

Draco’s eyes snapped to him. He tried his best to focus on the Gryffindor.

“Draco, I need to copy me. I need you to breath like I do okay?”

Draco couldn’t speak, the tightness in his chest felt like it was suffocating him, but he attempted a weak nod.

“Right, deep breath in,” he said taking a deep breath in.

He tried to copy though it was shaky.

“Hold it.” Potter waited for several seconds, “And exhale.”

They exhaled together.

“Again.”

Repeating this for several minutes Draco felt the world slowly come back into focus. The force that had his chest in a vice was slowly lessening and his heartbeat was slowly returning to normal.

Clearly sensing a change in him Potter smiled gently, “Keep going, you’re doing great.”

Taking several more deep breaths he began to feel more like himself. He was still shaking and while the overwhelming sense of oncoming dread wasn’t completely gone it was pushed to the background. He hadn’t experienced a panic attack that strong before, even the ones at the Manor he could usually pull himself out of himself.

“Thanks…” he managed to whisper.

Potter nodded and rose from his kneeling position and moved away as Madam Pomfrey bustled over making quick work of healing the fractured bones in his hand.

“Right,” McGonagall started after assessing them, “Start explaining.”

Draco bit his lip and didn’t look at any of them, “They’re going to perform the dementor kiss on my father,” he croaked, his voice raw from crying, “Pansy and Theo’s fathers too I think.”

“Theo?!” Potter demanded alarmed.

“I see…” McGonagall said slowly, “And this warranted breaking your hand on Potter’s face?”

He shook his head, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking I- I just didn’t know what to do.”

“If it means anything Headmistress, I accept the apology and have no hard feelings here.”

“Very well, Malfoy I will dock 10 points for resorting to punching another student and a night’s detention with me.” She said, “Malfoy I would like you to meet me in my office in 15 minutes for a word, the password is _Ginger Newt_.”

He nodded mutely.

“Potter you may go, 5 points for Gryffindor for your assistance with mister Malfoy.”

Potter nodded and quickly left the room, no doubt to search for Theo.

McGonagall began to walk out of the room also but turned to look at him once more, “I will see you in my office once Madam Pomfrey releases you.”

Draco watched her leave and exhaled heavily as the matron made her final checks on him. He was not looking forward to having this conversation with the Headmistress. He didn’t even want to think about it let alone talk about it. He made a mental note to send an owl to his Mother once the meeting was over, he couldn’t imagine how she was taking the news. Once deemed medically fit Draco rose from the bed and began the trek to the Headmistress’ office, avoiding the eyes that seemed to follow him the whole way. He had really done it now, punching the Golden Boy wasn’t going to reflect well on his probation. He had royally fucked up this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that the dementors were removed as the guards of Azkaban post war but I am working with the idea that due to needing to build auror guard numbers up they are phasing them out.  
((Also Draco's panic attack is based purely on my own experience and experiences may vary ))  
Lyrics are: Drown by boy in space
> 
> Ps. Thanks for reading and all the amazing comments i cherish everyone! And thank you so much for getting his story to over 800 hits! I love you all


	19. He's a vile coward... and so am I

_The world is coming down on me, and I can't find a reason to be loved_

_I never wanna leave you, but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone_

_You put your arms around me, and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

_I hope that you see right through my walls, I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling_

_I'll never let a love get so close, you put your arms around me and I'm home_

***

**Theo**

Theo had run from the Great Hall after reading the letter from the Ministry. He’d almost expected something like this to happen, but it had still knocked the wind out of him. He hated his father, he had for a long time ever since his mother had died but the realisation that he was going to be left with no family… it scared him. Storming out of the castle he made his way down to the Great Lake. He needed to vent his frustrations and could think of nothing better than to throw stones.

Finally reaching the shore Theo picked up a handful of the stones that littered the shoreline. He was angry. Angry at his father for what he had done to get himself in this situation.

He threw a stone.

Angry at the Ministry for the bureaucratic bullshit that was allowing this to happen.

And another.

Angry at himself for getting so worked up about it.

He threw a stone as far as he could managed and watched as it made a satisfying splash. Surely if he hated his father as much as he claimed he’d be jumping for joy about him finally getting justice for all the atrocities he had committed but it was so much more complicated then that. Yes, he was happy that his father would finally pay for what he had done to him and others. Yes, he was happy that he would no longer feel stuck under his thumb and could finally shape his own future. But being completely alone was something that Theo couldn’t even fathom. He’d lost his mother and now he was about to lose his father, regardless of how shitty he was it still hurt.

“FUCK!” Theo screamed to the lake throwing the remaining handful of rocks all at once and dropping to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest.

He’d been so happy only an hour ago. Still giddy from his date with Harry and now all of that seemed a lifetime ago. Back was the overwhelming sense of dread that he hid behind his sarcasm and humour. He’d thought for once that things were going to be okay; he had finally found a boy that liked him back, someone that was good for him and he was going to ride out the remainder of his probation with no issues. Now he was expected to just deal with the fact that his father was going to have his soul sucked out of him?

The crunching of stones caused Theo to whip his head around reaching for his wand, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with people today. Seeing that it was Harry his hand on his wand relaxed and he looked away staring out over the lake.

Harry took a seat down next to him, lightly pressing his shoulder against Theo’s.

“How are you?” Harry asked.

Theo rolled his eyes, “Peachy.” He scoffed.

“Theo…” he said softly, reaching out to gently turn his head to look at the Gryffindor.

He tried to look away, but Harry kept his head still, it was then that he spotted a bruise forming on Harry’s jaw and he raised his hand to trace it lightly with his finger.

“What happened?”

Harry captured his hand from his face and kissed his fingertips softly. “Draco…” he said with a small smile.

Theo frowned.

“We weren’t fighting, he was upset about the news and my jaw got in the way.”

“Oh,” Theo bit his lip, “So I guess you know then…”

Harry nodded, “I’m so sorry Theo.”

“Don’t be.” He uttered through gritted teeth, “He deserves it.”

“Maybe so,” he answered carefully, “He’s still your father and I’d be more worried if you weren’t a little upset.”

Theo jerked out of Harry grip and looked away, “Don’t.”

“Theo-”

“Save it.” He hissed, “He’s a vile coward… and so am I.”

Silence fell over them for a moment. Theo hadn’t meant to say it. He couldn’t deny that he hadn’t thought it many times. He had dishonoured his mother by not turning his father in. He had run away rather than make a decision in the war. He was hiding behind Harry’s protection. He _was_ a coward.

“You are not a coward Theo.” Harry stated firmly, he could hear the anger that was simmering under the surface of the statement.

He laughed, though it was hollow, “I’ve run away from every single hard decision of my life. My mother’s murder, the war, my father…”

“That doesn’t make you a coward. You were a child. You were surviving…”

Theo stayed silent tears welling up in his eyes.

“Love…”

Harry turned his face to look at him once again, cupping both of Theo’s cheeks in his hands.

“You’ve been so much braver than you give yourself credit for. You stared your mother’s murderer in the face for what, eight years? And you never backed down from being yourself.”

Tears began falling from his eyes and the other boy used his thumbs to wipe them away.

He choked back a sob, “That just makes me an idiot,” he closed his eyes, “You deserve better than this mess.”

Harry pulled him forward and into his arms, it wasn’t a particularly comfortable position as they were sitting on the rocky shore and he was still sitting with his knees bent but regardless he fell into the embrace. He was clinging to the warmth and security and he burrowed into Harry’s chest as sobs began to wrack his thin frame.

“Shhh…” Harry was rubbing his back with one had the other was wrapped around his waist holding him close.

Theo hadn’t been comforted like this since before his mother died. It wasn’t fair. His father had taken so much from him and he been missing things that he didn’t even realise. Being cared for was such a foreign feeling to him, he wanted to cling to it like a life raft. Harry felt like home. A home he never had. Lifting his head, aware that his face was stained with tears and he was probably red and puffy he crashed his lips onto Harry’s. Reminiscent of their first kiss in the Charm’s classroom.

Harry kissed him back tenderly for a moment before pulling away and moving his arms so that he could hold Theo by his upper arms and study his face.

“I deserve to be happy Theo,” he said quietly, “as do you. And I’m happy with you.”

Theo sniffed, “But-”

“-we will work this Ministry crap out. Together.” He cut across him, “I’ll be here as long as you want me, trust me.”

More tears fell from Theo’s face, but he was smiling despite himself, “I trust you.” He whispered, hoping that he wouldn’t ever live to regret those words.

Harry nodded smiling back at him, “We’ll talk about what you want to do later, for now I just want to show my boyfriend how much I care.”

He blinked, “Boyfriend?” the word felt odd on his tongue.

The Gryffindor froze for a moment, “Uh… yeah I guess I… just assumed-”

“-I like it.” Theo affirmed, taking the moment to wipe his face with the sleeve of his sweater.

Grinning Harry looped his arm around Theo’s shoulders, and they sat side-by-side on the shore of the lake in silence. Theo took this opportunity to calm himself down and push the business with his father to the back of his mind. He wanted to simply enjoy the feeling of his boyfriend’s arm around him. Boyfriend. He smiled quietly to himself, he was surprised at how comfortable he felt with that label. He’d had a few hook ups in the past but always ran away when commitment was mentioned, he suspected it was because of how his parent’s relationship had turned out. But it was different with Harry. Everything was different with Harry. He glanced at said man out of the corner of his eye and he was smiling to himself as he gazed over the water, Theo leant over to place a kiss on Harry’s cheek just above the bruise on his jaw. Harry squeezed his shoulder with his hand in response.

“I know you just said you didn’t want to talk about it…” Theo began cautiously, “but I’m scared. I have no one left after this happens.”

Harry considered this for a moment, “You have me.” He said finally, “And with that comes my family.”

Theo glanced at him confused, but his parents were gone too, and his aunt and uncle didn’t sound much like family.

“My family are my friends and all the people that I care about, and they will welcome you with open arms like they did me.” He said answering his look of bewilderment.

He raised an eyebrow, “Right, the son of a death eater and-”

“-and my boyfriend, the person I care about and trust with my heart.” Harry finished meeting his eye. “You’ll never be alone love.”

Theo’s lips quirked up and Harry pulled him closer to kiss him softly.

“Yeah?” He murmured against his lips.

“Yeah.” Harry confirmed kissing him again.

The continued to sit next to one another, ignoring the fact that they were missing classes. Theo didn’t think his could concentrate even if he was there. He just wanted to sit here, frozen in this moment forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of angst and a bit of fluff  
Lyrics are: Arms by Christina Perri
> 
> thank you for the continued support and as always thanks for reading


	20. I don't want to care...

_Have you ever wished you could rewind, pick up all the pieces of the life you left behind_

_Have you ever lived on borrowing time, knowing your mistakes are chasing you down from behind_

_But, don't hold me, 'cause I am falling back down, and I wouldn't wanna see you_

_Hit the ground, little darling, you found my heart in the lost and found_

_But the scars they still follow me around_

***

**Draco**

Draco felt the extensional dread mounting as he ascended the stairs towards the Headmistress’ office. While Potter had gone into bat for him, he had still punched the Boy Who Lived… in the face… while on probation. Groaning he ran a hair through his hair, this talk was bound to be about the fact that she was going to report his behaviour to the Ministry. Who knows what would come from that? They already had it out for the Malfoy’s it seemed, condemning his father to the Dementor’s kiss. Draco reached the Gargoyle marking the entrance to the office.

“Ginger Newts.” He muttered and quickly climbed the stairs once he was granted entrance.

Reaching the door, he took a deep breath and knocked quietly on the door.

“Come in Mr Malfoy.”

Slipping into the office Draco glanced around, he had once been to Headmaster Dumbledore’s office in his early years at the school when his Father was still on the board of governors. It had been cluttered with so many curious objects and artefacts, now the walls were lined with shelves laden with a vast number of books. His eyes fell on the portraits, namely those of Dumbledore and Snape who were situated directly behind where McGonagall was sitting at her desk, a quill poised over a piece of parchment. Snape gave no hint of expression, but Dumbledore was eying him with curiosity his eyes twinkling, and he quickly looked away feeling sick with guilt.

“Please sit Mr Malfoy.” McGonagall indicated to the chair opposite her and he quickly moved across the office to take it.

Setting down her quill she leant back in her chair and looked him over.

Draco squirmed uncomfortably in his seat; he could feel sweat beading on his neck.

“You’re in quite the predicament.” She said finally.

A little stunned he nodded weakly in response.

“While I cannot condom the use of physical violence, regardless of the circumstances, I am sympathetic to your situation.” She continued.

“I- you are?” he asked frowning, this wasn’t how he had seen the conversation progressing.

There was a fleeting upward twitch to her lips, “Of course, regardless of the person I can only imagine how such news would effect someone.”

Draco dropped his head and sighed, “I can’t believe this is happening…” he whispered, “I thought they had stopped doing this to people.”

“I was under that impression too.” She agreed.

“I mean, I understand why they would push for it…” he was trying hard to keep his voice steady he had cried enough today, “My father is an evil man, I know that but… this…” he shook his head sadly.

McGonagall pursed her lips for a second, “I don’t believe he is evil Draco. Misguided perhaps. He has made many mistakes, but I wouldn’t call him evil.”

A small laugh bubbled from his throat, it took him completely by surprise, “Maybe, but I guess I’ll always see him as the evil coward that he is.”

“And yet you don’t wish such a punishment on him?”

He stilled for a moment and finally rose his head to look at her, “On principle.” He clarified sharply, “I’m against the whole practice. My father has nothing to do with it.”

She narrowed her eyes slightly, “I’m not sure that is completely true, if it were, I don’t think you would have lashed out at Mr Potter.”

Draco frowned, considering this. She was right of course, if his outburst had said anything it was that he still cared about his Father. He didn’t want to. It would be so much easier if he could just hate him for the terrible things that he did. Flashes of his Father teaching him how to fly when he was a child, before Hogwarts, before the Dark Lord, before it got complicated, flashed before his eyes. He sighed heavily.

“I don’t want to care…” he admitted.

“You’re only human Draco,” McGonagall stated, “He is first and foremost your father regardless of his crimes.”

He nodded slowly a single tear running down his cheek.

“Now, I’m not going to inform the Ministry of this minor lapse of judgement, they’ve caused you enough pain today. But-” she looked at him sternly, “I expect you to not suffer one of these lapses again. Is that clear?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Very well. You are dismissed.”

Draco rose from his seat and turned to walk out of the office.

“Oh, and Mr Malfoy?”

He looked over his shoulder and the Headmistress who had picked up her quill again, “Perhaps you can take advantage of your new friendship with Miss Granger and appeal the sentence?”

He blinked for a moment and caught Snape giving him a nod from his portrait, “Er, yes maybe.” He answered and quickly hurried from the office.

Draco glanced at his watch, there was still about an hour of History of Magic left. He had no plans on going to class today. While he had almost completely calmed down from his earlier panic attack, he was exhausted and didn’t have the mental capacity to listen to Professor Binns drone on about Merlin knows what.

So instead he made his way to find an empty classroom. He figured it would be the best away to avoid everyone. There were bound to be students in his usual haunts, the Slytherin Common Room and the library and he didn’t fancy coming across anyone who thought he deserved being hexed for punching Potter.

As he found an empty Transfiguration classroom Draco shook of his robe and sunk down onto the floor in the centre of the room and lay on his back. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He couldn’t believe that Potter had taken the time to talk him out of a panic attack. Did he owe Potter now? He thought to himself screwing up his nose at the thought of it.

***

The door to the classroom opened he sat up to look at who had come through the door. Seeing that it was only Hermione he relaxed a little. She stalked over to him and stood over him, arms folded over her chest.

“You weren’t in class?” She asked studying him carefully.

“Yeah.” He said with a shrug, “So?”

She frowned, “So, I worried about you. I’ve heard some rumours going around Draco.”

He tried to smirk but felt that it probably looked more like a grimace, “That I decked Potter in the face? Yeah that happened.”

She huffed and set her bag down and sat down in front of him, “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you hit him?”

He was taken aback, “Why aren’t you just yelling at me about why I shouldn’t hit your friend?”

The corners of her mouth twitched, “Maybe later, he could have deserved it.”

“He didn’t. Not this time anyway.”

“So, what happened?” she asked again.

Draco sighed, “We, Theo, Pansy and I got letters from the Ministry today, they’re going to give our fathers the Dementor’s Kiss in November.”

Hermione’s mouth dropped open in shock. She scrambled to her knees and shuffled closer to him and threw her arms around his neck. He was suddenly smothered by her sweet-smelling bushy hair. His hands were still sitting loosely in his lap, Malfoy’s weren’t known for their hugging. But as she tightened her grip, he found himself moving to put his arms loosely around her.

“Oh Draco, I’m so sorry.” She whispered into his shoulder.

He swallowed hard and shrugged against the embrace.

She finally released him and sat back on her knees, “What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean? There’s nothing I can do even if I wanted to. It’s been ruled by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and the Wizengamot.”

“Do you want to do anything?” she asked.

He furrowed his brow completely confused about what she was getting at, “I- do but-”

“That settles it then.” She said looking very determined.

“Settles what?”

“We’re going to do something.”

“Hermione…” he sounded exasperated, “What in Merlin’s saggiest y-fronts are you talking about?”

She rolled her eyes, “We’re going to petition the Ministry and see if we change this.”

"What? Try and appeal?" Draco was looking at her as if she was mad. Which she was, there was no way that they could change the Ministries decision on this.

‘’You said Pansy and Theo got these letters too?”

He nodded weakly.

“Right I’m going to the library to do some reading on magical law then we are all going to meet up with all of us, you, me, Harry, Theo and Pansy and see what we want to do.” She rose from her spot and shouldered her bag before offering him a hand.

He stared at it blankly for a minute before taking it and allowing himself to be pulled up from the ground.

“Hermione, I think you’ve gone completely mad this time.” He remarked, still in shock that a. she would help him and b. thought that it was possible to do anything.

She laughed, an adorable grin spread across her face, “Maybe so but we might be able to do something to help your father.”

“Why are you helping him? He hates your entire existence…”

“But you don’t, right?” she asked.

“No of course not. I apologised for-”

“I’m doing it for you, not him.” She answered with a fierce nod. “I’ll send you a message when I have something I can use. Look after yourself, I’ll see you in Muggle Studies.”

And with that Hermione scurried out of the room as quickly as she came in. Staring blankly at the door as it shut Draco blinked. What the hell had just happened? Every moment of this day was insane and honestly, he wanted to have a huge nap. But he now felt obligated to go to Muggle Studies because of what Hermione had said. Sighing he instead decided to wander the halls during lunch since most people were bound to be in the Great Hall and he could clear his head in peace without threat of being attacked for punching Potter. He exited the room and began walking, he had no destination except getting to the class in just over an hour, so he decided just to make a couple of loops of the staircases until he got a hold of himself. He sighed for what had to be the thousandth time, what a fucking day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay in update, I had two very busy event filled days and ended up sleeping for most of the day and planning out some more of the drama and angst  
also holy shit! 1000 hits! I love every single one of you who reads this crazyness  
Lyrics are: Don't hold me by Dean Lewis
> 
> Ps have edited a few errors (i wrote the majority of the chapter half asleep at 5am)


	21. Start talking ferret

_To a certain married mister, that tried to move on my misses_

_Try to come around again, you'll catch some swings and no misses_

***

**Ron**

Ron hadn’t been present to witness Malfoy hitting Harry, he’d been busy stuffing the last few sausages on his plate for he had to go to History of Magic, but he’d quickly heard about it. The rumour mill in Hogwarts meant that everyone knew that Draco had been crying and had hit Harry in the face before they were swept away by the Headmistress. Then when neither of them turned up for class, Ron started to worry. He couldn’t fathom what sort of circumstances would lead someone as arrogant as Draco Malfoy to cry openly in the middle of the Entrance Hall, let alone abandon magic in favour of a right hook. It would definitely have to be bad. The rumours circulating were coming up with a variety of outlandish reasons; that his mother died, that he had been in love with Harry and he had rejected him, that he was being expelled, it all seemed a million miles from truth.

Sitting at his desk, head propped up by his elbow he zoned out. He found Professor Binns difficult to listen to at the best of times but with the added distraction of his best mate not being in class was enough to ensure that he took in nothing of the lesson. As the minutes ticked past, he found himself fidgety and unable to sit still. He wanted to make sure the Harry was okay and dole out the appropriate punishment to Malfoy if he wasn’t.

***

Finally, after would could only be described as a horrifically long History of Magic lesson Ron followed his fellow eighth years down to the Great Hall for lunch. Taking a seat, he looked around the Great Hall. Harry and Draco were still missing, as was Theo and…Hermione? He thought she would have been following them down from class but wasn't anywhere that he could see. Ron turned to Neville who was sitting beside him quietly eating a sandwich.

“Where’s Hermione?”

Neville shrugged, “I overhead her saying something about Malfoy on the way out of History of Magic but I don’t know where she went.”

Ron’s hands balled up into fists, he still couldn’t shake the feeling that Malfoy was up to something. Why after seven years of treating Hermione like the scum of the earth would they suddenly be on friendly terms. Excusing himself he stood from the Gryffindor table and went looking for the blonde-haired dickhead. After walking the halls for a while, he spotted a familiar head of white blond hair walking the third-floor corridor.

“Oi ferret!” he called out to Malfoy who was slinking around a corner.

Malfoy turned to look at him, “What do you want?” he replied quietly

Ron faltered; he’d expected more of a fight. Looking the blond over he quickly noticed that Malfoy looked exhausted, there was no cockiness and air of superiority about him. He looked almost sad.

“Where’s Hermione?” he demanded.

“I don’t have time for this…” He turned to walk away but Ron grabbed his arm and pulled him round stepping forward to try and intimidate him, he had a couple of inches over Malfoy and he was going to use it to his advantage.

“Where is she?” he asked again, voice lower and more dangerous.

Malfoy didn’t shrink away, “Obviously not here.” He retorted, “Library I think. Why do you care? Last I heard you were being a cock and you guys broke up.”

Ron clenched his teeth, face turning red, “And just because we aren’t together, I can’t worry about what a ferret-faced git wants with her?”

The Slytherin pulled his arm out of Ron’s grip, “I don’t want anything with her, she came to me.”

“Why the fuck would she come to you?” he asked eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“I don’t think that that’s any of your business.” He replied with some of his usual cockiness.

Ron pulled his wand from his robes and pressed it against Malfoys neck, backing him up against the corridor wall, “Start talking ferret.”

“Or what Weasel?”

Ron didn’t answer and just pressed his wand harder against his neck.

“Fuck it.” He sighed, “If you _must_ know Weasel. Hermione came to me to once she heard that my Father was going to have his soul sucked out of his fucking body.”

Ron dropped his want instantly, feeling slightly sick. “What?” he babbled taking a step back.

“She came to comfort me. Is that okay with you? Can I go?” Malfoy looked completely deflated and Ron was beginning to feel terrible.

“But- What?”

Malfoy pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Salazar you’re an idiot.” He muttered. “Hermione came to comfort me because my Father has been sentenced to a Dementor’s kiss. She was trying to _help_ me.” He repeated slowly.

“Merlin, I didn’t know-”

“You weren’t supposed to know.” Malfoy cut him off, “But you’re a tactless arse who can’t keep his nose out of other people’s business.”

Ron’s mouth dropped open, and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “I’m sorry…?” he offered.

The blond gave him a filthy look, “I don’t need pity from the likes of you.” He spat.

“Fine, I wasn’t offering it anyway.”

“Good.”

“Glad we cleared that up.”

“Is that all?” Malfoy folded his arms over his chest cocking his head at him.

Ron nodded slowly and the Slytherin turned and began walking off down the corridor. Then without even think Ron called out to stop him.

“Wait!”

Malfoy stopped but didn’t turn around.

“Be nice to her. She’s more than just a brilliant mind.”

The blond made no indication that he had taken this on board and continued to walk down the corridor away from him. Ron spun on his heal and kicked out at the stone wall, cursing as he hit it hard with his toes. He was a fucking idiot and had made a complete fool of himself. He still wasn’t completely convinced that Malfoy was being genuine about his intentions with Hermione, but he had to feel like a complete tool for being so insensitive regarding his father. Regardless of his feelings towards Lucius Malfoy hearing that news about your father had to be difficult to process. Having had the fear of losing his own dad to the snake attack a few years ago he could only imagine how Malfoy felt knowing that there was no way that he was going recover. Shoving his hands in pockets he began walking to Muggle Studies, a subject that had been made compulsory since the war, trying to think of a way to make the guilt in the pit of his stomach ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a short sucky (seriously I'm not pleased with this one but despite my attempts this is as good as it gets for me today) Ron chapter - he's still around moping about Hermione and convinced that Draco is up to no good. We're back into the meat of the story again next update.  
Lyrics are Tantrum by Waterparks


	22. I didn't expect anything less

_So you’re winking at your own reflection, you’re kicking ass_

_You’re living life to your ow convictions, you stand your ground_

_You speak up loud and support your friends_

_You are, you are, you are, a force to be reckoned with_

***

**Hermione**

The following day after a rigorous night researching at the library Hermione arranged to meet the unlikely gang in the Room of Requirement to talk over what she had discovered. She had spent hours pouring over the few though sizeable books the library held on Magical Law and the political system of the Wizengamot, while it was all very interesting it hadn’t been as helpful as she had hoped. It seemed that although the Minister could make decisions like the one to remove the Dementors from the prison the Wizengamot could overturn that if enough members voted in favour of doing so, thus making their desire to appeal slightly more difficult.

She stood laden with books and parchment outside the door to the Room which had turned itself into a meeting room, mostly empty bar the large rectangle table surrounded by chairs, a blackboard at the head. Draco and Pansy arrived first, the former almost dragging a reluctant Pansy with him. He gave Hermione a small smile gently shoving Pansy through the door before going and taking a seat on the left side of the table.

Harry came around the corner next his arm loosely draped around Theo’s shoulders guiding him gently. Theo looked like he hadn’t slept, and his usually immaculate hair was an untidy mess. Harry met her eye and gave her a concerned look, trying to give him a small smile she stepped aside to let them pass. She turned to follow them in and watched as her best friend spoke into Theo’s ear and pulled him down to sit on the unoccupied seat opposite Draco before sinking into the one next to him, running his hand comfortingly up and down the brunette’s back.

Quickly checking the corridor, she entered the room herself, closing the door behind her. She went to the head of the table and quietly set down her pile of books. Once everyone was sitting comfortably, except for Pansy who was leaning against the wall arms folded Hermione cleared her throat.

“Um,” she tried to think of the best way to open such an odd meeting, “I’m glad you could all make it though I’m sorry for the circumstances…”

“So, what exactly are we here for?” Pansy asked from her spot, “Draco was pretty cryptic…”

Draco turned to look at her rolling his eyes, “Yeah, well I didn’t think you’d come if I said that Hermione was organising this-”

She smirked, “You’re right, and you played on my insatiable curiosity you cheeky fuck-”

“-maybe we should listen to what Hermione has to say?” Harry supplied looking a little irritated.

Hermione gave her friend a smile, “Thanks Harry, now-” she said tucking her hair behind her ear, “-I guess the first thing that needs to be said is that I want to appeal the Ministry’s decision to administer the Dementor’s Kiss on your fathers.”

Pansy laughed shrilly, “You can’t be serious?!” she paused looking around at the others, the looked at her in silence and she shook her bobbed hair back from her face, “Why does no one else see how ridiculous this is?” she looked to Draco who shrugged and then to Theo who was avoiding all of their eyes.

Hermione cocked her head, “Why is it ridiculous?”

“Well for starters, you’re willingly wanting to challenge the Wizengamot. You maybe a hero but that’s just stupid. Secondly, all three of us,” she pointed between the Slytherins in the room, “are on probation because of the actions of said fathers. How’s it going to look to the public if you start petitioning on our behalf? Look at what happened at our trials and how many times Potter got checked for curses?”

“I understand that,” Hermione said looking at Pansy, “I’m willing to go through that scrutiny for the sake of an unjust punishment.”

Pansy looked at her confused, “Why are you really trying to help us?” she asked eyes narrowed, “We’ve been nothing but awful to you for years and suddenly you want to help people that wanted you wiped from existence.”

“The same reason I stood up in your trials,” Harry spoke up, “we have to do what’s right and overturning a sentence and instead changing it to a simply barbaric practice isn’t justice.”

“So, it’s part of your hero complex scarhead?”

Harry rolled his eyes, “Pansy…” he sighed, “We just want to help.”

“And what if we don’t want your help?” she retorted.

“Draco,” Hermione said changing tactics and addressing the blond who quirked an eyebrow at her, “You wanted to appeal, correct?”

“I’m against the practice as whole,” he nodded, and Pansy’s mouth dropped open, “not to mention it seems weird to me that this was suddenly rushed through after the Minister called for dementors to be removed from Azkaban. I may be reading too much into it, but it seems vaguely like it’s being used to make an example of our families…” He leant forward propping his elbows on the table and pressed his fingertips together, “Why else would this come out of the blue like this?”

Harry considered this, “I can see where you’re coming from…” he began brow furrowed in thought, his hand still rubbing soothing circles on Theo’s back “Sentences were passed during the trials with no mentioned of the Dementors…”

“Exactly!” Draco threw his hands up in relief and leant back.

Hermione nodded “I have to agree, after the Dementors turned to Voldemort-” the Slytherins flinched slightly, “there was a public consensus to remove them from Azkaban and Minister Shaklebolt agreed. This decision has to be coming from somewhere in the Wizengamot, they have the power to overturn the decision.”

“The question is, who supported it?” Draco added.

“Since Harry and I know the Minister I suggest that we appeal to him directly and see if he can shed light on the situation and-”

“-I don’t want to appeal…” Theo whispered interrupting her.

“What?” Hermione asked a little shocked by this revelation.

He lifted his head and looked at her directly, “I don’t want to appeal.” He repeated a little lounder this time and she saw Harry move his hand to squeeze his thigh, “My father deserves his punishment.”

“But Theo it’s about the principle of-”

“I don’t care!” Theo stated sharply, she could see him shaking slight and she felt herself backing down. “He deserves it and I don’t want to appeal!” he stumbled to his feet and stormed out of the room.

Harry gave her an apologetic look and quickly followed him from the room.

The room was silent for a moment as they all sat looking at the door that the two boys had left through.

“Pansy? What about you?” Hermione asked cautiously looking to her.

The Slytherin girl gave her a deadpan look, “I don’t know…” the uncertainty obvious in her voice.

Hermione tried to give her a comforting smile, “That’s okay, you don’t have to decide right now, we still need to construct a case.” She picked up a piece of parchment that was covered in scribbled writing, “We have about a month to challenge this, I’m going to do some more digging into who’s on the Wizengamot and who could be supporting this and begin putting together some information before we send a letter to the Minister. I want to get that letter to him next week so if you want our help Pansy you can come to me before then.”

Pansy said nothing but nodded stiffly.

“Once we have his response, we can meet again to decide what we want to do from there.” She looked up from the parchment, “Sound good to you guys?”

They both nodded.

“Great, I think that’s everything.” She began to tidy her things, stacking the various pieces of paper and books into a neat pile. Pansy had quietly made her exit, but Draco was standing watching her.

“Sorry about Pansy, she’s very cynical about this interhouse unity thing.” He said with a lazy shrug, “Doesn’t help that she’s still being harassed about trying hand Potter over…”

“I didn’t expect anything less.” She admitted, “I’m not asking to be best friends, I just want to help.”

He gave her a soft smile, “I know, she’s as stubborn as the rest of us but if she wants to do this she’ll come around.”

Hermione laughed, “She could probably give Harry a run for his money, he’s one of the most stubborn people I know.” She picked up the stack of books and they made their way out of the Room of Requirement. “I’m going to drop these back to the Gryffindor Common Room, I’ll see you in Care of Magical Creatures.”

Draco looked like he was about to say something when he changed his mind and gave her a small wave and left in the direction of the dungeons.

Making her way to the Gryffindor tower Hermione’s head was swimming with ideas for the appeal. She was making mental plans of what she needed to do when thoughts of Draco smiling at her interrupted her thought process. She quickly pushed them away. She didn’t need distractions right now. _Distractions? _Since when was he a distraction? _‘Anything would be a distraction; I have important things to do.’_ She clarified to herself, though even she thought it sounded like a pretty weak justification. She sighed as she approached the portrait hole. She didn’t need this, she had work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this makes up for the chapter yesterday. thank you for those who commented and made me feel better about it especially HeartSandwich for all of your comments you've kept me motivated!  
Lyrics are Worth it by Openside (which side note is one of my favourite bands and highly recommend them bonus they're from my home country NZ and have an nb lead singer so...)  
Thanks for reading!


	23. Harry Potter you're a sap

_You walked into the room and now my heart has been stolen_

_You took me back in time to when I was unbroken, now you're all I want_

_And I knew it from the very first moment_

_'Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again_

***

**Harry**

Harry quickly caught up with Theo as he practically ran down the stairs. He hadn’t expected quite that reaction from his boyfriend and he felt awful for causing him more pain. He had thought that it would have been helpful, that he had people in his corner, but he had been wrong. Falling into step with Theo he tried to take his hand, but Theo pulled away and picked up the pace.

“Theo wait!” he called jogging to catch up, “Talk to me! Please!”

Theo stopped on the staircase and turned to look at him, his blue eyes were burning with anger and sadness, “What the hell made you think I wanted that?”

He faltered and took half a step back, looking down at Theo his heart broke, “I’m so sorry Theo, I thought it would help. I was wrong.”

“That’s an understatement.” He murmured.

Harry took a tentative step forward, the stairs made it so he was now eye-to-eye with him, “I am really, really sorry love.” He slowly reached out to cup his boyfriend’s face, giving him plenty of time to pull away, but he didn’t. He let his thumb rub over Theo’s cheek, for the first time it was slightly rough with stubble, “What can I do to show you that?”

Theo leant into his touch and his shoulders relaxed a little, “Walk with me?” He said capturing the hand on his cheek in his own, “I need to walk out this emotion and I don’t want to be alone.”

Harry interlaced his fingers with Theo’s, “Of course, I’ll always do that, I’d follow you anywhere.”

He chuckled quietly, “Harry Potter, you’re a sap.”

“At least my sappiness got a smile out of you.” He replied with a smirk and allowed himself to be pulled forward and they kept walking down the stairs. “Where are we going?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” Theo replied, “I just need to think and walking usually helps.”

Harry nodded and stayed silent, giving the Slytherin the chance to speak his thoughts aloud.

“I didn’t sleep last night,” he admitted finally as the turned to head down another flight of stairs, they were heading down to the fourth floor now, “I kept running things over in my head. What my father did. What was going to happen. How I felt about it…” he paused for a second, “Whether I would go and see him before…” he trailed off.

“And what did you come up with?” Harry asked gently.

Theo furrowed his brow, “I’ve found a newfound anger about what he did since I’ve been with you-”

His eyes widened, he didn’t want Theo to get angry because of him, “What?! I didn’t want you to-”

“-you didn’t let me finish, you big idiot.” Theo said with a smirk cutting through his panicked response, “What I meant was, you caring for me, comforting me, treating me like I’m this thing to be treasured… it made realise how much I’d been missing, how much my mother’s death deprived me of.” He stopped walking for a moment and Harry copied. Theo turned face him, their hands still linked, “I’ve been missing so much, and I’ve been hiding behind my cocky humour and sarcastic comments keeping people at arm’s length… until you.”

Harry felt a familiar ache in his chest, he understood completely. He had experienced the same thing. Losing his parents and being put with the Dursley’s and then to be welcomed into the Weasley family and how they had embraced him with love and warmth. He realised how lucky he was to have had that love to come into his life when he was so young, Theo it seemed hadn’t felt this until now. He wanted to just wrap him up in a tight hug and never let go, he wanted to make up for lost time.

“Which is why I don’t want to appeal.” He continued, and they began walking again towards the fourth-floor balcony. “He didn’t just take away my mother that day, he took away so much love, comfort and moments that I never got to have, you helped me see that.”

“I can never replace your mum and what you could have had with her, but I’ll give all of those things for as long as you want them Theo.” Harry said sincerely glancing at him.

Theo gave him a lopsided smile, “I know you will.” He opened the door to the balcony with his free hand and pulled Harry out closing the door behind them. It was a rare warm day considering how close it was to winter, the sky was clear, and they could see over the grounds. They walked over to the railing and Theo dropped his hand to lean on it with his elbows, hands hanging over the edge, Harry did the same.

“That’s why I think I’m okay with what is going to happen to him, he never had to suffer like I did." He continued on. "He hurt more people and continued to treat me like shit. He needs to face his punishment; he needs to finally reap the consequences.” He said firmly, jaw set.

Harry had to admit that he could see where Theo was coming from, he had a lot of hurt that he hadn’t had a chance to deal with and it all directly related to his father.

“Are you sure?” he asked quietly.

‘’As sure as I’ve ever been in my life.” He responded.

Harry nodded to himself, “Okay, I’ll support you.” He lightly pressed his shoulder against Theo’s, and he responded by pressing back. “Are you going to see him?”

Theo stilled for a second, “I’m not sure… part of me wants to so I can stare him down one last time, but a bigger part doesn’t want to, that it’ll be too hard to see him again.”

He wrapped an arm around Theo’s waist and drew him closer, pressing his lips to the side of his head, “I think you should.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I think it would be good for you to get closure… get answers from him. So you can stop wondering why…”

“Mmm” he hummed tipping his head back and Harry restrained himself from attacking the bare expanse of skin with his teeth, “You might be right there… I’ll think about it.”

The stood like this for several minutes, both just looking out into the horizon before Harry kissed Theo’s neck just below his ear and the Slytherin let out a quiet moan.

“We’re having a serious conversation and you’re trying to seduce me Potter? That’s hardly fair.”

_Fuck._ Harry quickly tried to move away blushing, but Theo quickly spun and wrapped his arms around his neck holding him in place.

“I’m only fucking with you!” He laughed meeting his eyes flashing him a heart stopping grin.

Harry scowled, “You wish.” He was still pink in the face and trying to calm his heart.

Theo leant down, “I very much do wish…” he whispered close enough that Harry felt his warm breath on his ear, and he swallowed audibly.

He was well and truly flustered and didn’t know how to respond without just being a stuttering mess so instead he leant up and gave Theo a sound kiss, wrapping his arms around his waist pulling him close.

Theo kissed him back for a moment before he pulled away and held him tight, resting his cheek on the top of Harry’s head.

“I could stay like this forever…” Theo murmured into Harry’s hair.

Nestling his face into Theo’s chest he hummed in agreement, he loved the feeling of his boyfriends’ arms around him. He could almost definitively say that he was falling for the Slytherin hard. He had loved Ginny, but this was different. It was overwhelming but also completely perfect. But he also didn’t want to ruin what they had by saying anything yet, their relationship was so new that it was bound to mess something up.

“I wanted to thank you Harry…” Theo cut across his thoughts, pulling him back to the moment.

“For what?” He asked into the fabric of Theo’s shirt.

“For talking me off the metaphorical ledge these last few days…” he said kissing the top of his head, “I told you not to carry Hermione and Ron’s drama and I’ve loaded you with my own.”

Harry pulled his head back enough to look up at Theo, “You don’t need to thank me for that love, that’s what boyfriends do.”

Theo planted a gentle kiss to his forehead, “Still, thank you…”

‘_I love you…_’ he thought to himself as he pecked Theo’s lips. “You’re welcome.” He sighed dropping his forehead to Theo’s chest once more. “We should probably get to Care of Magical Creatures…” he mused aloud.

“Mm probably… but first…” he hooked a finger under Harry’s chin and pulled him up for a deep kiss that left them both breathless.

Harry would never tire of this. It was too easy to be with Theo and he hoped that it would never end. Pulling away they linked hands once more and began making their way down to class, Theo looking more alive and awake then he had all day and Harry’s heart swelled at the thought that he had been the cause of that. He smiled; nothing could ruin his good mood now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back to my sweet bois and considering the angsty music I was listening to when I wrote this I'm surprised at how little damage I did  
Lyrics are Can I be him by James Arthur
> 
> Thanks for reading lovely people!


	24. Just let me know what you need

_I've been cold, I've been merciless_

_but the blood on my hands scares me to death_

_Maybe I'm waking up today, I'll be good, I'll be good_

_And I'll love the world, like I should, I'll be good, I'll be good_

***

**Draco**

Draco entered the Great Hall a little late for breakfast that morning. He had actually slept soundly that night and as a result his body had compensated for the weeks of lack of sleep and had slept through his alarm. Breakfast was over half over by the time he had scrambled to get himself clean and dressed and had taken a seat opposite Blaise hastily grabbing a piece of toast and taking a bite. Blaise had his head down reading Daily Prophet that he had open on the table.

Glancing up at him he closed the paper, “You’re gonna want to see this…” he said passing it over.

Grabbing the paper from Blaise Draco studied the 3 large photographs of his, Pansy’s and Theo’s fathers that emblazoned the front page:

_Death Eaters Destined for Dementor’s Kiss!_

_In an unexpected move by the Ministry of Magic and the Wizengamot several life sentences for convicted Death Eaters have been overturned in favour of the Dementors Kiss. Death Eaters Lucius Malfoy, Cassius Parkinson and Lazarus Nott are expected to be administered this punishment in early November, with fellow Death Eaters expected to follow shortly thereafter. Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt has been unavailable for comment since the announcement. Minister Shaklebolt was of course at the forefront of the decision to remove Dementors from Azkaban due to their desertion during…_

Draco slammed the paper down onto the table, his shoulders rising and falling with each heavy breath he took as he tried to maintain his composure. While he wasn’t surprised to see the story in the Prophet, he knew it was bound to be reported on eventually, it was still jarring to see it printed. From how he had put the Prophet down Draco could see another headline that was relegated to the bottom right hand corner of the front page:

_Cursed? Death Eater’s son and the Chosen One dating?_

It was accompanied by a slightly out focus picture of Theo and Potter kissing. Swearing under his breath Draco folded the Prophet up and tossed it back to Blaise.

“The masses are going to have a field day with this…” he muttered to his friend.

Blaise nodded sympathetically, “I wish I could lie to you and say they won’t but… they’ve just been handed more ammo.”

The blond sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, it had been bad enough having himself and his father dragged through the tabloids the first time around with the trials, but at least he’d been at home able to lock himself away from it. There was no such privacy at the school, he was going to be faced with reality of his situation day after day with no such escape.

Draco looked over to the Gryffindor table sweeping the seats for Hermione, he spotted her as she was frowning over her copy of the Prophet. She looked up and caught his eye. She gave him a sad smile.

‘_Are you okay?_’ she mouthed at him.

He shrugged in response. He wasn’t lying, he didn’t really know how he was feeling. He was a mess of angry, sad and scared and he couldn’t identify which of the emotions he was feeling the strongest at this moment.

Thankfully he didn’t have too long to dwell on this as the school began making movements to head to classes. The eighth years had double transfiguration which would allow for the perfect opportunity to speak to Hermione since she was his partner for the class. It was certainly surreal to him that he was relying on her to help him, but now that she was, he couldn’t imagine asking anyone else to help. She was smart and a logical thinker. He wanted to vent and needed her level-headed opinion.

Meeting her at their spot towards the front of the classroom they stood waiting for the class to start. Draco tried in vain to ignore the pointed looks that went with the whispering. The lesson for the day was to transfigure a beard on their partner. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of Hermione sporting a Dumbledore-esque beard.

“I’ve done this one before,” she said with a smile, “You want to start?”

He nodded and pulled out his wand from his back pocket and pointed it at her, “_confitemini barbatum_” he said concentrating hard, nothing happened.

“So, how are you?” Hermione asked waiting patiently for him to cast again.

“_confitemini barbatum,_” he repeated, nothing happening once again, “I’m okay, I think…” he swished his wand once again, “_confitemini barbatum. _I’m a little worried about the potential fallout, not just for me but for Theo and Pansy as well…” he admitted.

She nodded, “I’ve heard a few murmurs around the Gryffindor table this morning, so I can’t say your worries are completely unfounded…”

He sighed, “_Confitemini barbatum._” This time a few wiry hairs appeared on Hermione’s chin. Removing them he readied himself again.

“…but,” she continued, as he cast again causing a very small soul patch to appear below her lower lip, “it sounds like a lot of it is actually aimed at Theo for kissing Harry.”

Draco raised his eyebrows as she removed the hair. He hadn’t even thought about how the news of Theo’s new relationship would affect him. He’d been too wrapped up in his own drama it hadn’t even crossed his mind. Theo been so careful about who he had talked to about his infatuation with Potter that having it publicly broadcast was bound to take its toll. Especially with the amount of people who were still bitter about the breakup between Potter and Weaslette.

“I didn’t even think about them. _Shit…_” he muttered the curse under his breath.

“I’m not surprised, you have enough on your plate.” She said with a comforting look.

He still felt bad and he glanced over to Theo who was deep in conversation with Potter, both of whom looked very serious. While he still wasn’t the biggest Potter fan, he had to admit that he was good for Theo. His friend was the happiest he’d ever been even despite all the stuff with their fathers and the last thing he wanted to happen was for him to get his heart broken too.

“_Confitemini barbatum_,” a full goatee appeared, “I knew this was going to happen eventually but…”

She rested a gentle hand on his arm, “Doesn’t make it any easier, Hogwarts can be ruthless. Try not to let it get to you.”

He looked at her, he could tell she was sincere, but it was hard to take her seriously while she had a black goatee on her chin. He bit his lip to stop himself laughing. She frowned fleetingly before realising what he was sniggering at and quickly vanished the facial hair.

“I’m serious!” she cried trying to contain her own laughter.

He nodded and tried casting again, this time managing to transfigure an all over albeit very patchy beard. He knew that she was right, she, Potter and Weasley had spent their fair share of time being scrutinised by the press. Thanks in part to him, he added thinking of the fabricated interviews he often did for Rita Skeeter during the Triwizard Tournament. If anyone knew the best way to navigate the press attention it was going to be them. He needed to trust them. Not an easy feat considering their past but Potter and Hermione both had shown him that they willing to help them, and he needed to take them up on the offer now more than ever.

“I might need your help with not letting it get to me…” he conceded getting ready to cast again once the hair was removed, “I admittedly didn’t take the last wave of cross examination particularly well…”

Hermione smiled sporting a full beard on her face, “Just let me know what you need.” She replied.

He exhaled a sigh of relief; he wasn’t entirely sure that becoming more entangled with her was going to help his or Theo’s case in fact it was probably going to raise more questions of whether they had cursed the Gryffindors. But, Hermione at their meeting had said that she was willing to face the scrutiny in order to help them, so Draco intended to trust that she had meant it.

“I will.” He agreed.

He hoped he would never have to call on her for anything but from the way that every now and then one of their classmates would throw him a filthy look he might have to at some point. It was nice to have someone fighting in his corner. It was nice to actually trust someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn the Prophet for stirring up the drama, but at least it's slowly pushing Draco and Hermione together...  
Lyrics are I'll be good by Jaymes Young  
Thanks for reading! xx


	25. I couldn't care less what they say...

_Bring me to your house, tell me sorry for the mess_

_Hey, I don't mind, you're talking in your sleep_

_Out of time, well, you still make sense to me_

_Your mess is mine_

***

**Theo**

The news of his father being sentenced to the Dementor’s Kiss hadn’t been the thing that annoyed Theo, it was the short gossip-y article relegated to the corner of the front page that had his hackles up. It was nothing short of lies, depicted him as a manipulator putting his boyfriend under a curse to advance his own goals. What those were the author only speculated. Power? Money? Forgiveness? Theo had to laugh, he didn’t want power and money had never brought anything but misery in the past. And forgiveness? Apart from being a coward he didn’t have anything to feel guilty about. Sure, he wanted to be seen as something other than the son of a Death Eater but he wasn’t dating Harry for that. He was dating Harry because he loved him, because he was a goofy, loving, attractive idiot who liked him for himself.

The news of their relationship had gone down at Hogwarts as well as he’d expected. It was only minutes after breakfast and he’d already been accosted by a group of cocky fourth year Gryffindors who had threatened to hex him if he didn’t leave Harry alone and a small blonde Hufflepuff first year had attempted to cast a jelly-legs jinx on him but it had only caused him to stumble. He knew that there was going to be complications when their relationship finally went public, but he hadn’t expected it to be quite so soon and for it to be reported in the Prophet the way that it had. He also couldn’t help but wonder how they had gotten a photo of them kissing, they’d been careful about keeping their displays of affection as private as possible. It didn’t really matter now; the news was out, and he was going to continue to face the harassment until they either lost interest or they broke up.

Theo realised that he hadn’t been paying attention to the beginning of the Transfiguration and it wasn’t until Harry waved his hand in front of his face that he snapped back into the present moment.

“Huh?”

“Transfiguration has started,” Harry said looking at him carefully, “Are you okay?”

Theo shrugged and glanced over at the board to see what they were doing. Transfiguring facial hair on their partner.

“Well that’s code for no. What’s wrong Theo?”

He shrugged again.

“Theo I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you.” Harry had his hands on his hips frowning at him.

He sighed, “You saw the Prophet this morning, right?”

Harry shook his head, “I haven’t read it for a long time. Why? What was in it?”

Theo looked at the floor scuffing the floor with his foot, “There were two articles… one was about the changes of sentences for my father the other-”

“Mr Potter, Mr Nott stop your talking and get practising.” McGonagall swept past them giving them both a look.

Hastily Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at him, “_Confitemini barbatum. _And what the other article about?”

Theo continued to avoid Harry’s gaze, “It was about us…” he mumbled.

“_Confitemini barbatum._ What about us?”

“Our relationship, that I have you under some sort of curse.” He briefly looked up to look Harry in the eyes, “That I’m corrupting you.”

“So we’re in the business of giving a shit about what the Daily Prophet says about us?” the Gryffindor asked a laugh in his voice.

Theo groaned, “I couldn’t care less what they say…”

Harry gave him a confused look, “Why are you so upset then?”

“Because other students believe it… I’ve already had threats and hexes thrown at me…” he hissed trying to keep his voice low to not draw attention to them again, “it’s bound to only going get worse from here.”

Harry had been about to cast again but stopped, “People are hexing you?”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” he said dismissively, “I was expecting this reaction… I’m not exactly the world’s first choice for dating the saviour of the Wizarding World…”

“Don’t start that again Theo, it’s you I want.” His voice tired and he readied his wand again.

Theo let him cast before continuing a scruffy beard now on his chin, “I know that, the majority of people don’t get that though…they just see me as a threat to you…”

“And you’re as threatening as a pygmy puff.”

“Oi! Fuck you.” Theo hissed trying his best to look outraged even though it was not far from the truth.

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment, “You know, I’m friends with Luna whose father runs the Quibbler. They ran a story back in fifth year for me telling everyone about Voldemort’s return.”

“I remember that, everyone had a copy once it got banned by Umbridge.” Theo smirked vanishing his beard as the class was dismissed.

“We could release a small statement or something to the Quibbler and get them to publish it, try and dispel the rumours. They’re the only ones I could trust to get the facts straight…”

Theo stopped gathering his things for a moment and just stared at Harry dumbfounded at what he’d just heard, while he had no doubt that the Gryffindor cared about him the fact that he was willing to go so public with their relationship still caught him off guard.

“Really?” he squeaked.

Harry grinned, “Yeah, if they want to talk let them at least have the facts.”

“You’re crazy!” he laughed.

“For you.” He added with a wink and Theo blushed, “So you down for talking to Luna?”

Theo simply nodded and walked with Harry out the door of the classroom, he was stopped with a hand on his arm. He turned to look at his boyfriend eyebrow raised.

“I’ll get her to meet us tomorrow if she’s free. In the meantime,” he gave Theo a look, “you stay safe, I don’t want to hear that you’ve ended up in the Hospital Wing because of some shitty little first year.”

“Rude! I can look after myself. Give me a little credit!” Theo cried trying his best to look hurt but smirking despite himself.

Harry rolled his eyes and despite the handful people walking the halls heading to lunch leant in and gave him a quick kiss.

“I know you can.” He said before shooting a Ravenclaw who had stopped to gawk at them a glare.

Shoving him away playfully he flipped him the finger, “Get moving dick, I’m starving.”

“Love you too arsehole.” He retorted but began walking.

Theo followed trying not to let the first two words of Harry’s reply affect him too much, it was said sarcastically, it wasn’t _actually_ a confession of love. Regardless he felt his cheeks warm and tried to be as nonchalant as possible in his response.

“Love you dick head.”

Harry chuckled in response and gave him a parting smile before heading off to the Gryffindor table to eat. Theo smiling took his own seat next to Draco, he no longer minded the thought of enduring some mud slinging from his fellow students, Harry was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay, it's been a day today. At least I have my gay bois  
Lyrics are: Mess is mine by Vance Joy  
For my American readers I hope you had a good turkey day


	26. I'm doing this for your benefit

_I will fight, I will fight for you_

_I always do until my heart, is black and blue_

_And I will stay, I will stay with you_

_We'll make it to the other side, like lovers do_

*******

**Hermione**

Hermione was back in the library. She had taken up residence at her usual table at the back and had the books on Magical Law that she had gotten out spread out in front of her. Her bushy hair was pulled back from her face in a messy bun and she was sure that there was a probably a smudge of ink on her nose from her frantic scribbling. She had had a brief dinner and had spent the last hour or so making notes for the appeal. The Prophet article announcing the punishment had lit a fire under her, they already only had a month to try and convince the Ministry to change their minds but she was worried that as it was now public knowledge that there was possibility of them pushing ahead sooner. Because of this she had been jotting down things that she could bring up in the appeal: the legality of changing the punishment without resentencing, the removal on Dementor’s and their duty, Harry’s testimony in the original trials. Anything that could be of use to them.

She was focusing primarily on Draco’s father. Theo was adamant that he wanted no part of this and after a long conversation with Harry in which he told her the bare minimum details regarding his boyfriend’s father she finally understood. And Pansy hadn’t made up her mind. She had made a couple of bullet points in case Pansy came back to her wanting to appeal but hadn’t progressed further than that.

Draco had been occupying her thoughts all day, she was trying and failing to convince herself that it was simply because of the appeal and there was no other meaning for it. But she knew she was lying. If it were the case, she’d be thinking about his relationship with his father rather than the way that he would run his hands through his hair or the way that the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled at her. She didn’t have any sort of feelings for him though, it was pure fascination with the fact that he no longer saw her as dirt on his shoe. She loved Ron. Their breakup was just temporary anyway, right? They were going to sort their lives out and then go back to how things were…

Shaking her head to clear it she realised that she’d been staring at her parchment for a while, blinking a couple of times she read over what she had just written trying to remember what she was about to add. She chewed on the end of her quill frustrated, the thought was gone. What was it with Draco and distracting her lately? She put down her quill and leant back in her chair, rolling her shoulders to work out the dull ache from hunching over for so long.

“Hey.”

_‘Speak of the devil and he shall appear’_ she thought to herself and she met Draco’s eyes. She hadn’t seen or heard him come in and yet here he was standing over her. He had his bag slung over one shoulder and she couldn’t help but notice that it was pulling at the collar of his shirt, the top button of which was undone showing a sliver of his pale collar bone. She dragged her eyes away from it as quickly as she could lest she be caught staring.

“Hey yourself.” She replied as coolly as she could muster.

He put a pale hand on the back of the chair opposite her, “Can I sit?” he asked studying her.

She nodded and quickly shifted some of the books so that he had space on the table.

He sat down and pulled one of her books closer to him and quickly scanned it, “Yikes, the political system, thrilling.”

She rolled her eyes, “I’m doing this for your benefit.” She reminded him.

He smirked, “I know and for that I am eternally grateful.” Bowing his head to her she resisted the urge to pull the finger at him. “What can I do to help?” he asked more seriously.

She thought for a second and then handed over a particularly thick book entitled _Wizengamot Sentencing History 1900-Present,_ “Here, you can look through this and see if there is any precedent for changing the punishment for a crime after the fact and without a retrial.”

Draco raised an eyebrow at the size of the book he’d be handed, it was almost 100 years of information, “Bloody hell Granger.” He muttered before opening it and swore under his breath at the tiny writing, “Are you sure this isn’t punishment? Whatever I’ve done I’ll make it up to you.”

Hermione cast her eyes to the ceiling, “Don’t be so dramatic…”

“I’ll have you know Malfoy’s are known for their dramatics.” He flipped the page ostentatiously to prove his point.

“Oh, I’m well aware of it.” She sniggered under her breath

“I don’t know whether to be offended or not?” he muttered back.

She didn’t answer him and instead picked up her quill to continue her notes.

They worked in silence, the only noise being the turning of pages and the scratching of her quill as she jotted things down. Every now and then despite her best efforts not to she would glance up at him. His brows were furrowed, and she caught herself fixating on the pink tip of his tongue that was running the length of his top lip as he concentrated. He looked up at her and she quickly looked down willing herself not to go red from being caught. This was ridiculous, why was she staring at him? Hermione looked him up and down carefully, objectively he was good looking. His grey eyes were captivating and no longer looked at her with contempt and he had a jawline to die for and from the small glimpse of his collar bone earlier she couldn’t help but wonder what other treasures lay beneath that shirt… But she couldn’t like him. It wasn’t right. She could be friends with him, but he was still _Draco Malfoy_ the boy that called her a mudblood… but then again, he had changed, he had proved that. ‘_Shit’_ could she really have feelings for him? Surely not…

“What?” Draco asked looking up again, his finger hovering over his spot on the page.

Hermione blushed, “I’m just thinking…”

“Aren’t you always?” he retorted quickly, “Whatever it is, it can’t be pleasant…”

“Huh?”

“You look like you’ve been asked to shovel dragon dung.” He chuckled softly.

She quickly busied herself, looking down at her parchment and arbitrarily underlining something, “It’s nothing, just thinking…”

He shot her a quizzical look that she caught through her lashes, “Yeah… you said that…? Maybe it’s time to call it a night?”

“I’m fine.” She shot back.

He raised his hands in mock surrender, “Okay, okay.”

“Have you found anything?” she asked changing the subject and dragging her eyes away from the way he licked his lips before answering.

“No, I’ve only into the 1950’s but so far there hasn’t been any reference to a punishment being changed after sentencing…”

Hermione hummed biting her lower lip, “That’s both good and bad news. Good because we can call into question why it’s being done and bad because we don’t have any previous cases to pull from.”

“I’m going to call it good,” Draco replied, “If there’s not prior instances of this happening we can really focus on how unusual it is.”

She had to agree, it was a good tactic. “You’ve still got about 50 more years to go but-”

“I don’t see anything appearing between then and now.” He agreed picking up the book to continue reading.

Hermione scratched down a note to reminder her that so far, they had not found any prior cases of this happening. Setting down her quill again she glanced at her watch, it was getting late and she still had actual homework to get to. Closing the book she had been reading, she slowly began packing up her things.

“You going?” Draco asked not looking up.

“Yeah, it’s getting close to curfew and I haven’t started the potions homework yet.”

“Not like you to not have it finished.” He smirked.

She shot him a dirty look, “Only because I’ve been focussed on this stuff for you.”

He looked up and smiled, “I’m flattered.” His voice full of jest.

“God you’re insufferable.” The corners of her mouth quirked up.

“All part of my charm.” He winked.

Hermione rolled her eyes and stuffed her things hastily in her bag, she could her feel the blush beginning to spread on her cheeks and she wanted to get away as soon as she could. Shouldering her bag, she stood and pushed her seat into the table.

“I do mean it,” Draco said quietly, “Thanks for helping me, Merlin knows you don’t have to.”

“That’s what friends do.” She replied quickly adjusting her footing.

He grinned at her, “Good night Hermione.”

“Night.”

She spun on her heel and made her way from the Library her heart beating harder. What the hell was wrong with her? She quickly made her way to Gryffindor Tower and threw herself down at a table to start her Potions Essay but instead of writing about the properties of Aconite she found herself scribbling on her parchment:

_I don’t have a crush on Malfoy… I don’t have a crush on Malfoy… I don’t have a crush on Draco…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She doesn't have a crush... she doesn't have a crush... she totally has a crush and one day she'll finally admit it.  
Dramione is going to be slow progress, they're both too stubborn to co-operate like my gay bois  
Lyrics are Don't give up on me by Andy Grammer


	27. Are you sure about this?

_But right now we are called to see a place. where you and I will change the world we know_

_Anywhere that I'm with you is home, where you are is where I always want to be_

_Anywhere as long as you are there with me, I will take you to the places I have seen_

_Take my heart and run along, cause I'm running after you_

***

**Harry**

Harry had managed to get a message to Luna the night before and she had agreed to meet them down by the lake between classes that morning. So, after Charms he had wrapped up warm for the chilly weather, grabbed Theo by the hand and began making their way to their meeting. He sincerely hoped that Luna would agree to what they were going to propose. It certainly wouldn’t clear up all the rumours – namely the one where he was under Theo’s Imperius curse, they could at least try and get some of the facts out there. Though if they could convince even just a small number of people that their relationship was genuine it would stop the floods of hate mail that was currently being sent to his boyfriend. So many owls had arrived that morning that had caused quite a scene. Not wanting to touch any of them in case someone particularly vindictive had poisoned the parchment he and Theo had gathered them up wearing their gloves and had taken them outside to light on fire.

Harry could see that Theo was getting disheartened by the whole experience and he could see why. Their relationship was still only new, it had only been a couple of weeks, and now they were going to report it to the Wizarding World at large. It wasn’t exactly how either of them had planned it. Harry himself had hoped for at least a few more months of privacy to enjoy Theo without everyone knowing but his plans never worked out.

“Are you sure about this?” Theo asked him for what could only be the fifth time that day.

Harry stopped and turned to face his boyfriend, “I know that this isn’t probably the way either of us wanted to announce to the world that we’re together but unfortunately...”

“…you’re a hero and I’m a villain. It comes with the territory I guess.”

He shook his head biting back a smile, “I wish you’d stop dubbing yourself the bad guy.”

Theo raised an eyebrow, “Thought you liked a bad boy?”

“Then I guess I should be chasing Draco then.” He couldn’t hide the laughter in his voice.

His boyfriend looked offended and slightly nauseated at the thought, “You’re more than welcome to then.” Folding his arms over his chest.

Grinning wickedly, he reached up on tiptoe to kiss him, “Never.” He growled quietly in his ear.

Theo caught his cheeks in his hands and kissed him again, running his tongue along his lip before he gently nipped at it with his teeth. Pulling away he looked him dead in the eyes, Theo’s usually sparking blue eyes were dark with desire, “Good. I don’t want to share right now.”

Harry swallowed hard, trying to keep his head but he could feel the blood rushing south. Sometimes he forgot the effect that Theo had on him, the simplest things had him completely losing his head. He wanted nothing more than to push his boyfriend into the nearest secluded space and attack his mouth with his own but sadly they had things they needed to do.

Sighing he took Theo’s hands from his face, “As much as I’d love to continue this… we need to meet Luna.”

“Spoil sport.”

They made their way out of the castle; the cold air was like a knife against Harry’s cheek. Winter was well and truly on its way. He burrowed his nose further into his scarf trying to spot Luna as the drew closer to the lake. He spotted her on the shore she bent over looking at something in the water. Pointing her out to Theo they walked up to her.

“Hi Luna!” he greeted her cheerfully.

“Oh, hi Harry.” She replied not turning around.

Harry couldn’t help wondering how she wasn’t cold; her bare feet were being gently lapped at by the icy water. He spied her boots lying several feet away, clearly having been tossed there.

“What are you looking for?” Harry asked.

“Freshwater plimpies.” She replied, “Dad told me they live in the lake and I’ve been craving some soup.”

“Ah.” He glanced at Theo who was giving him a bemused look and he just shrugged, this was just Luna being Luna.

“I think it’s too cold for them today, shame.” She righted herself and turned around to face them, gazing at them with her owlish eyes.

“Luna this is Theo,” Harry indicated to his boyfriend who gave her an awkward wave.

She gave Theo a slightly dreamy smile, “Ah, so this is who you were talking about the other week…” she looked gave Harry a nod of approval, “you certainly have an eye for the good-looking ones.”

Theo coughed like he’d choked blushing bright red.

Rubbing at the back of his neck Harry shot the Slytherin a quick apologetic smile, “Theo, Luna Lovegood.”

Theo politely extended a hand, which Luna eyed for a moment before taking it and shaking it.

“You wanted my help again Harry?”

He nodded, “I don’t know if you read the Prophet,” she shook her head, “but they published a story yesterday about Theo and I…” he took Theo’s hand, “It was a bunch of lies about the nature of our relationship and we were wondering if the Quibbler would be up to publishing a counter piece setting some things straight?”

Luna considered this for a moment, “I thought you wanted the media to leave you alone?”

“Oh I do, trust me on that, but I also want to try and reduce the vitriol being spewed at Theo and if this is the way to do it, I’ll talk to the press in a heartbeat.” Theo squeezed his hand.

She nodded, “I’m sure my father would be happy to print another article about you, it did so well last time… I’m sure he wouldn’t mind bumping the article about nargles until the following issue…” She more talking to herself then to them, “I’ll send an owl to my dad to send a reporter to Hogsmeade tomorrow and you can talk to them.”

Harry sighed in relief and grinned at Luna, “Thank you so much for this.” He let go of Theo’s hand to give her a hug and kiss her on the cheek, “We really appreciate it.”

She smiled, “Theo’s head is full of wrackspurts…” she noted dreamily glancing over at him.

Harry looked over at Theo who indeed looked a little bewildered, “I’ll see you later Luna.”

“Okay Harry!” she turned back to the lake and bent into a squat to look closer.

Wrapping an arm around the Slytherin’s waist he began gently guiding him back towards the castle.

“I think I understood about twenty percent of what just happened…” Theo’s brow was furrowed, “What’s a nargle?”

Harry laughed, “I have no idea. That’s Luna for you though, incredibly wise but not always completely coherent.”

“You have some interesting friends Harry.” Theo was smiling now, “But at least they want to help.”

“I knew she would. Now we need to prepare for what we’re going to say to a reporter…” The reality of what they were doing was beginning to set in. What were they going to say? How in depth were they willing to go? What were they prepared to admit?

Theo sensed his change in demeanour and once they were back inside the castle pulled him into a nearby broom closet. Normally the close proximity to Theo would have sent his mind racing into sordid places but now it was racing for a whole other reason.

He felt himself being lowered onto what he later realised was an upturned bucket, his boyfriend knelt in front of him.

“Babe,” Theo got him to meet his eyes, “We have time to work out what we want to say.” He said gently and Harry felt himself calming down. “What do you want to say?”

He thought for a moment, “I guess we confirm that we are in a relationship. That you haven’t cursed me in anyway, that this is a genuine relationship…”

“That I’m hot as fuck and you love it when I suck your dick?” Theo offered with a wicked smile.

He laughed, “You’re definitely hot as fuck but I think I’ll keep the bit about you sucking me off to myself.”

“Pity.”

“Why are looking to advertise your services?”

It was Theo’s turn to laugh, “Not at all just might make some people understand the attraction.” He shrugged and Harry pressed his hands to his face to hide the reddening of his cheeks. “Okay, no bedroom talk.”

Harry dropped his hands to his lap, “Good. So, we’ve been dating for a couple of weeks, it’s going great and we’re happy…”

“And we want people to leave us the fuck alone?”

“Yeah.”

“And I’m not trying to get some kind of favour or special treatment for my father.” Theo added seriously

Harry nodded emphatically, “There isn’t some conspiracy here, just two people who like each other a lot.”

His boyfriend leant over to kiss him and Harry felt his heart flutter. He still couldn’t quite grasp the gravity of what they were going to do the next day but that was for them to worry about tomorrow. He stood pulling Theo to his feet as he did, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around Theo’s neck and pressing his body close. He knew that Theo could probably feel his growing erection so ground his hips a little. Theo moaned into his mouth and grabbed at Harry’s hips pulling him even tighter to him.

Leaning back to breath for a second Theo licked his lips, “We could get caught…”

Harry smirked, “Don’t care right now.” He lent in and nipped at Theo’s neck one of his hands dropped to the front of Theo’s pants and palmed his erection.

“Harry…” Theo’s voice was nothing more than a breathy whine.

He hummed against the soft skin of his boyfriend’s neck fiddling with his fly. Finally getting it open Harry ran a finger under the waistband of Theo’s underwear and felt him shiver at the contact.

“Are you sure-”

Kissing Theo to silence him for a second he lowered himself to his knees in front of him. Taking a deep breath, he hooked his fingers in his briefs and pulled them down until Theo’s cock sprung free. Licking his lips Harry took it in his hands and Theo groaned with want, he was so hard. He’d never been this close to a dick before, but it felt almost like second nature. He moved closer and his tongue darted out to lick at the tip. Theo threw his head back a hand clapped to his mouth to stop him from being too loud. Swirling his tongue around the head Harry made the quick decision to commit and took Theo’s cock deep into his mouth. With one hand still over his mouth Theo tangled the other in his unruly hair holding him in place.

“Fuck…” Theo hissed through his fingers.

After several moments Theo began slowly moving his hips and Harry took this as a sign to start moving. He bobbed his head trying to mimic what Theo had done to him. It seemed to be working as Theo seemed to be losing control.

“Harry… babe… I’m close…” he panted still trying desperately to stay quiet, so they didn’t draw attention to the cupboard they were in.

He ran his tongue over the underside of Theo’s cock and his boyfriend moaned hips thrusting forward and burying himself deep into Harry’s mouth as he came. He swallowed several times, not entirely hating the taste. Pulling his head away he let the softening cock slip from his lips. Theo leant back against the wall tucking himself away.

“Merlin, you’re a natural…” he whispered.

Rising to his feet Harry grinned. He was thrilled that he could give his boyfriend so much pleasure. Theo pulled him into a hug, and he rested his ear over the brunette’s heart listening to it slowly return to its normal pace.

They were shaken from their reverie by the sound of students thundering through the corridor outside their spot. It was lunch time. Reluctantly letting him go Theo straightened out his clothes.

“I guess it’s time to go back to the real world.” The Slytherin muttered sadly. “I’ll go first, and you wait a bit, don’t want to fuel some rumour that I was recursing you or something.”

Chuckling softly, he nodded, he really hoped this interview would mean they didn’t have to sneak around so much. They shared a brief kiss before Theo slipped quietly from the cupboard. Standing alone he sighed, he loved Theo and wanted everyone else to see what he saw. A lovable, cocky but vulnerable dork. One day they would see, Harry would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut wasn't going to happen today but you know how it be, they took it in a different direction than planned.  
Hope you enjoy  
Lyrics are Running back to you by Matthew Mole


	28. We didn't have much choice

_I'm color-coding my moods, you're yellow, I'm natural blue_

_Let's get together and be green like my insides, at least I'll match your eyes_

_Jealous and hypnotized, let's match our faces and be equally in love_

_Hey, tell me what you want me to say, you know I'm stupid for you_

***

**Theo**

Theo couldn’t sleep. He’d been tossing and turning for hours trying desperately to get even a few hours consecutive sleep. So far he’d only managed one two hour stretch and he was beginning to get frustrated. It wasn’t like he didn’t need the sleep, he did. He wanted to be on his best form for the interview, to present his best self for scrutiny. At this rate he was going to a dull eyed incoherent mess as he often was when he was sleep deprived. He heard Draco sigh and turn over too, it seemed he also wasn’t sleeping. Sitting up quietly Theo slipped out of bed, grabbing his bottle of Firewhisky from under his bed and padding over to his friend’s bed.

“Knock knock,” he whispered poking his head through the curtain.

Draco lifted his head to peer at him in the dark before grabbing his wand and illuminating it. Theo held up the bottle and the blond nodded pulling himself up to sit against the headboard, legs crossed under the sheets. Theo clambered on to the bed sitting opposite Draco as he grabbed their glasses that he had on his bedside table.

“What’s the occasion?” Draco asked quietly holding out the glasses while Theo poured them each a healthy measure.

He shrugged, “No real occasion I just can’t sleep…”

“And drinking helps?” he raised an eyebrow at him passing him a glass.

Theo scowled; he was reminded of Harry giving him a similar look the last time he drunk. “Don’t give me that look, it helps you too.”

Draco took a deep drink before his mouth quirked into a smirk, “Can’t argue with that logic.”

He pulled his friend the finger while he took several mouthfuls from his own cup. He tipped his head back relishing the warmth of the alcohol.

“Ah, that’s what I needed…” Theo exhaled heavily.

“You gonna tell me what’s bothering you?” Draco asked over the rim of his glass, “or are we just going to talk nonsense until we pass out?”

He considered this for a moment. Normally he would opt for avoiding the root of his problem it was easier that way, but tonight venting sounded ideal.

“I have this thing tomorrow…” he started, unsure how to word it. Whatever way he looked it at it was a weird situation to be in.

“A thing?” Draco repeated wearily, “Could you be anymore vague?”

He flopped back on the bed kicking his feet out to rest on Draco’s crossed legs, resting his glass on his stomach “I’m talking to a reporter tomorrow with Harry.”

“Ugh get your troll feet off me.” Draco pushed his feet off his legs, “A reporter? Why?”

“We’re trying to head off some of the hatred being directed at me by publishing a counter article to the one in the Prophet…” he explained.

“Are you expect the Prophet to report that accurately?” scepticism dripping from every word.

Theo titled his head up to look at Draco, he shook his head, “Of course not.” He replied simply, “That’s why we’re not going to the Prophet.”

Draco motioned for him to continue taking a sip of his drink.

“The reporter is from the Quibbler.”

Draco choked, “The Quibbler?” he gasped out pale cheeks tinted red and Theo propped himself up on his elbows to look at him concerned, “The Lovegood rag?”

“Yes, The Quibbler. Harry trusts them to get the facts straight.”

The blond shrugged, “I guess but still…” he pulled a face, “who am I kidding… I don’t really care that much.”

Theo chuckled; he knew that it was meant in good humour. Both of their reputations were down the toilet anyway so having an article published in the Quibbler was far from the worst thing they could do.

“Why are you up this late?” Theo pulled himself up so that he could drink without the possibility of pouring it all over himself.

“I’m thinking about going to see Father…” Draco muttered.

“Oh?”

“Yeah… I feel like I should tell him in person what Hermione and I are trying to do…”

He raised an eyebrow, “I’m sure it’ll go down well with him, you working with Hermione.”

“Well… I was going to keep that part quiet,” he confessed scratching at his left wrist absentmindedly, “Keep it vague so he doesn’t… you know…”

“Fly off the handle?” Theo supplied.

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes both not sure how to continue.

“To the bizarre situations we are both in!” Theo raised his glass and Draco clinked his to it.

They both drank deeply, finishing their drinks. Draco stashed the glasses away again and Theo clambered off the bed to retire to his own feeling a lot more relaxed. He quickly slipped into a dreamless sleep.

***

Theo walked beside Harry down to Hogsmeade the next day pulling at the collar of his blue button up, he felt like it was suffocating him. He’d made sure to wear his nicest clothes to make a good first impression, but he was now regretting his decision as unbuttoned the top button again for the millionth time that morning. Harry looked over noticing his unease and grabbed the hand that was fiddling and holding it in his own.

“You look stunning.” He said with a smile.

He knew his responding smile probably looked more like a grimace, but he squeezed the hand holding his in thanks.

They’d been told to meet the reporter in the Three Broomsticks, so they made their way there in silence as Theo ran through all the possible scenarios, all the questions they could be asked and how he would answer them. Entering the warmth of the pub from the chilly air was a shock to Theo’s system. He kept his head down trying not to draw attention to himself after the last time he came in with Draco. From a corner table a short wizard wearing a set of orange robes waved them over. Theo looked at him in surprise as Harry led them over. The robes were a lot and it took him a moment to look past them. He appeared to be in his sixties and hair was a mess of greying curls that hung down to his chin. He peered at the pair of this behind almost comically large glasses and indicated that they sit opposite them.

“Mr Potter, it’s a pleasure.” He offered his hand, which Harry took, “Alford Graytwig. I’m a reporter for the Quibbler.”

“Thank you for meeting with us on such short notice.” Harry gave him a smile.

Theo quietly took a seat next to Harry. He wasn’t hurt that he was being ignored, he supposed it came with the territory of standing next to the famed boy.

“The pleasure is all mine.” He tittered in response. Theo could hear the gruff raspy undertones to his voice under the almost childlike excitement.

“This is Theodore Nott.” Harry turned to introduce him.

The reporter hesitated for a second before gingerly offering his hand. Theo shook it weakly, it seemed likely that Graytwig probably believed the rumours that he had put Harry under a curse. He felt himself tense up; this wasn’t boding well for an impartial article.

“I’m assuming that the pair of you would like to get this interview completely as quickly as possible as to not take up your whole Hogsmeade trip?” Graytwig asked pulling a quill and notebook out of the pocket of his robes.

Harry nodded.

“In that case, we’ll get straight into the nitty gritty of it.” Flicking open the notebook he poised his quill over the pages, “So it had been rumoured that you two are engaged in a relationship. Is this correct?”

“Yes.” Answered Harry.

Graytwig looked down at his notebook, “And how long has this been going on?” he asked.

Harry glanced at Theo, “We’ve been going on dates this past couple of weeks and have defined ourselves as boyfriends in the last few days.” The Gryffindor replied.

“So this is all very new and yet you are willing to broadcast this?” the older man asked curiously over the top of his quill as he scribbled.

Theo bit back a laugh, “We didn’t have much choice,” he said bitterly, “The news somehow made its way to the Daily Prophet and we felt it necessary to address the blatant lies that were printed.”

“By ‘blatant lies’ I’m assuming you are speaking of the speculation Mr Nott, that you have Mr Potter under some sort of curse. How do you respond to that?”

He paused for a second trying to think of the best way to respond that didn’t result in him yelling profanities, “Well first and foremost I should say I do _not_ have Harry under any kind of curse. I am aware of the reputation that my father has given my family name and I can’t fault people for coming to such a conclusion. But,” he took a breath, “I also think it ridiculous that a wizard as accomplished as Harry would succumb to any curse that I would be able to produce.” He saw Harry blush out of the corner of his eye, “After all, he threw off the Imperius curse in our fourth year Defence Against the Dark Arts class.”

Graytwig looked astonished by this revelation and turned to Harry who was now beet red, “Is this true Mr Potter?”

“Yeah…” he admitted bashfully.

Making a note of this the reporter turned back to Theo, “So you deny these claims?”

“Emphatically.”

“And Mr Potter how do you react to these claims?”

Harry looped an arm around the back of Theo’s chair and used this position to subtly rub his back gently between his shoulder blades and Theo felt himself melt under the touch, a silly little smile playing at his lips.

“I think it’s absurd.” He answered simply, “I’m an adult and fully capable to make my own decisions about who I wish to date.”

Turning the page in his book Graytwig frowned, “So this isn’t a plot to garner sympathy on your part Mr Nott? Considering the recently publicised fate of your father Lazarus Nott?”

Theo felt anger flash through him. He had prepared to answer this question but _actually_ being asked it had hit a nerve. His father was still a sore spot. The hand on his back had stopped rubbing and had moved to give the back of his neck a comforting squeeze.

“No. My father is in Azkaban for his allegiance to You-Know-Who and the crimes committed under that allegiance. His punishment is just for his actions and I want no sympathy for that.” He explained, it was as close to the full truth as he wished to come. He wasn’t going to bring up his mother.

Graytwig surveyed him carefully as if trying to deduce if he was sincere. Theo kept his gaze steady until he looked down to scribble down his answers.

“What are you wanting to get out of this article?” he asked finally.

“I want people to know that I’m happy with Theo and I want to enjoy my last year at Hogwarts with him without having to worry about him being sent death threats from strangers and being attacked in the corridor”

“So you are both happy and wish to be left alone?” the reporter clarified.

Harry looked at Theo and smiled. Theo met his eyes and grinned back, forgetting for a moment that they were in the middle of an interview. Taking that time to admire his boyfriend. That was, until a camera flash going off startled them back into the present and he turned back to see Graytwig stowing away his camera back into his robes.

“Yes.” Harry finally answered.

“I think I have all I need,” the reporter said closing the notebook and tucking it and the quill away. “The next issue is out Monday week, so I’ll endeavour to get this written out in time for printing next week.”

“Thank you, Mr Graytwig.” Harry rose to shake his hand once more and the older man quickly made his exit. “Well that wasn’t too bad.” He said with a grin offering his hand to help Theo up.

Theo nodded taking the proffered hand. He had to agree. It wasn’t the worst-case scenario that he’d been dreading. He just hoped that it would help. He just wanted to be able to love Harry in peace. They had agreed to spend the rest of their time in Hogsmeade browsing Honeydukes to lighten up the trip. Within the sweet-smelling shop Theo watched as Harry excitedly dragged him around chattering about the products on the shelves. He seemed younger and carefree and he couldn’t help but sadly note that with the constant threat of the Dark Lord over his head year after year that his boyfriend hadn’t really had a chance to just enjoy things like the rest of them. With a smile he picked up a few of the things that Harry pointed out and decided to treat him. Had he still had the Nott fortune he would have grabbed it all but since he didn’t, he just grabbed some Bertie Bott’s, a couple of Chocolate Frogs and a bag of Fizzing Whizbee’s. They had a date night planned on Monday and would give them to him then. He wanted to see more of that delightfully happy care-free Harry and would do anything to make that happen. Stowing the sweets in his robes he caught Harry round the middle and pulled him into a kiss in the middle of the store. Merlin he loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay in uploads yesterday was hectic and I didn't get to my computer. Sadly this has thrown off my schedule a little and the Christmas chapter no longer falls on Christmas but I'll cope.  
Lyrics are Stupid for you by Waterparks  
Ps. had to go back and edit the publication date of the Quibbler issue cause I had a moment and forgot my own timeline sorry!


	29. Maybe you should shut up and listen

_I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight, I just need a moment in my own space_

_Ask me how I'm doin', I'll say "okay, " yeah, but ain't that what we all say?_

_Sometimes I think back to the old days, in the pointless conversations with the old me_

_Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me, I wish somebody woulda told me_

***

**Draco**

Draco decided to spend his Saturday away from Hogsmeade after the last disastrous trip and instead had taken up refuge in the Library. He had secretly been hoping that Hermione would be there, but she wasn’t. She was probably in Hogsmeade with Potter and Theo. He was disappointed, he’d been enjoying the time that they were spending together, regardless of the circumstances. Hermione had given him a lot to think about, namely about how he felt about his Father. McGonagall had been right when she said that he still cared. The amount of time they were spending putting together a defence for his Father was crystal clear evidence of that. It seemed that regardless of what his Father had done he was going to care; it came with the territory of being human. The complex emotions he felt were the biggest reason as to why he would have never had made it as a successful Death Eater. He still cared too much for other people as much as he tried to supress it. Pair that with being a coward and he was surprised he’d managed to survive the months that the Dark Lord had been living in his house. It had probably been due to his Father and Professor Snape keeping the Dark Lord’s off him that was the credit to his survival.

He had the book of Wizengamot sentences that Hermione had given him laid out in front of him, open to the last page he’d gotten to, but he wasn’t reading. His mind was elsewhere. He had spent most of the night pondering the idea of going to see his father in Azkaban. He had decided to do it. While he had no interest in visiting the prison, he knew that he would probably regret not going to see his Father regardless of the outcome of the appeal. If he was being brutally honest with himself, he wanted to show Lucius who he was outside the oppressive family rule and the Death Eater lifestyle. Granted it wasn’t a big change, he was still very much a coward, but he was taking steps in the right direction. His ability to work alongside Potter and Hermione were testament to that.

Pushing the book aside he dug in his bag for a fresh piece of parchment and his quill. Pausing for a moment to word his letter in his head he finally began to write:

_***_

_Head Auror John Dawlish,_

_I hope this letter finds you well._

_I am writing to request an appointment to meet with my father Lucius Abraxas Malfoy in Azkaban prior to the event of the 1st of November._

_I hope this can be arranged and I await your response._

_Yours most sincerely,_

_Draco Lucius Malfoy_

***

Draco leant back in his chair, exhaling heavily. He’d written the letter, no he needed to pluck up the courage to send it to Dawlish. It could wait until he was finished in the library, Merlin knew his Father wasn’t going anywhere anytime fast. Setting down his quill he raised his arms above his head yawing as he stretched. His lack of sleep was really beginning to take his toll and he was seriously considering heading back to the dormitory to knock back more of Theo’s whisky and taking a nap when a figure threw themselves into the seat opposite him. Blinking it took him a minute to register who it was. When his brain had caught up Draco scowled.

“Look I wanted to apologise for the other day…” Weasley said quietly to him looking increasingly more uncomfortable which each word.

Draco almost felt compelled to pinch himself, he wasn’t completely convinced that he hadn’t dozed off at his table and this wasn’t just some bizarre dream. He hadn’t been expecting Weasley to apologise to him after he had accosted him in the corridor the other day. From the little that he knew about the Gryffindor he had reputation of being particularly pig-headed and not one to back down. Yet here he was looking as if he should be thanked for interrupting Draco’s work to say he was sorry.

“Don’t grovel Weasel it’s unbecoming of you.” He sneered back after a while of uncomfortable silence.

The tips of Weasley’s ears darkened to a shade of scarlet, “I’m trying to be a decent human being here you wanker!”

“Well don’t” Draco spat, “Like I said before, I don’t need your pity!”

Weasley threw his head back with a groan before leaning forward, bracing his hands on the edge of the tale and looking him dead in the eyes.

“Listen Malfoy, believe me when I say the _last_ thing I feel for you is pity.” He took a breath, “But I _was_ out of order butting into your business like that.”

He narrowed his grey eyes trying to work out what ulterior motive Weasel had for this omission.

“If I’m being honest, I was worried about Hermione… about her being friends with you…” the redhead looked embarrassed admitting this and Draco couldn’t help but smirk a little.

“She’s a big girl, she can look after herself you know?” he said crossing his arms.

Weasley let out a bark of laughter, “She basically said the same thing to me.”

“Maybe you should shut up and listen then?” Draco quipped.

“Maybe I should.” He agreed quietly, he released his hold on the table and dropped his hands into his lap, “Look, I know I have no say on what she does or who she’s friends with but can I just ask that you don’t hurt her?”

Draco said nothing but raised an eyebrow at the other boy.

“You know as well as I do that she’s been through a lot and she swears up and down that you’ve changed and while I’m not completely convinced, I trust her judgement.” He bit his lip looking like he was choosing his words carefully, “I don’t want her to be wrong and for this to blow up in her face.”

He nodded slowly. As much as he couldn’t stand him, he couldn’t fault Weasley’s loyalty to his friends. Even though they had broken up and they didn’t appear to be on speaking terms at present he was still trying to protect her. It was certainly commendable.

“I don’t intend to hurt her.” He said slowly.

Weasley considered this for a moment, “I… I believe you.” He admitted finally, “but you’re also such a pompous git you may do it by accident.” He added with the hint of a smile.

Draco rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching, “and you’re so thick you’re bound to read the situation completely wrong even if I don’t do anything.”

“Arse.”

“Idiot.”

Weasley cracked a smile and extended a hand to Draco which he eyed carefully.

“Don’t make me regret this but… truce?”

After a beat Draco took the hand with his small pale out and shook. “Truce.” He agreed, “I’m still going to call you Weasel though…”

Weasley laughed, “and I’ll still call you Ferret.”

He chuckled softly, “Now kindly fuck off I have things to do.” Draco said, though it was good-natured completely unlike any interaction he’d ever had with the ginger Gryffindor.

He received a mock salute in return and Weasley clambered to his feet, “With pleasure.” He retorted, “See ya round.”

Draco didn’t respond and chose to just wave him off. He was reeling a little from the entire interaction but was honestly more than a little glad that he hadn’t had to put effort into an argument today. He was too tired to fight back had there been one. Gathering his books and shoving them into his bag he folded up the letter he had written. He was going to drop it off at the Owlery and go and take that nap he had been considering. He wanted to start getting into peak physical condition once he finally had the chance to see his Father, just to rub in how much better he was doing and sleep, after eating, was one of the biggest priorities. Besides, he was sure that he was going to hear all about Theo’s interview once he got back from Hogsmeade and needed to have at least a couple of hours sleep under his belt before he felt he could actively participate in that conversation. He yawned. He was looking forward to a few hours of unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Ron finally coming around? Only time will tell!  
i'm going to try and get back to once a day posting but honestly with the things that are cropping up I'm not sure how feasible that'll be  
Lyrics are If you want love by NF
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos being left it makes my day!


	30. Totally killing the mood Theo

_Lay with me, I'll lay with you, we'll do the things that lovers do_

_Put the stars in our eyes, and with heart shaped bruises_

_And late night kisses, devine_

***

**Theo**

Theo was curled up, snuggling into Harry’s chest between his boyfriends’ legs. Upon entering the Room of Requirement that evening they had skipped straight to cuddling on the couch. After the events of the last week they’d had they were both craving the physical contact. Harry had his arms wrapped around his thin frame and Theo was listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart under his ear.

The rest of Theo’s weekend had sailed through smoothly after the interview. He’d spent most of his Sunday in the dormitory with Draco and Blaise doing a whole lot of nothing, avoiding the vitriol being hurled at him by many of the other students. There was no avoiding it come the next morning, and on his way to breakfast he’d been subject to a couple of well-aimed trip jinxes, and another hefty delivery of hate mail greeted him once he got there. But all and all Theo wasn’t too fussed, the prospect of the evenings date night had him pleasantly distracted throughout the day. It _had_ meant that he hadn’t absorbed anything that Professor Sprout had said during Herbology and as a result had found himself being bound several times by the Devil’s Snare they were supposed to be tending to, prompting Hermione to come to his rescue.

Theo adjusted, curling up tighter to feel even more enveloped by Harry’s warmth. It often surprised them both how small he was able to fold himself considering the length of his lanky limbs.

Over lunch Draco had told him that he had requested a meeting with his father. While this could have been expected, what with all the work his friend was putting in with the appeal, it had taken him a little by surprise. Draco had made it clear to him many times over the course of the trial and beyond that he believed his father to be evil and deserving of the punishment he got so going to see him wasn’t something he had really considered Draco doing. Still Draco’s decision to go and see his father had gotten Theo thinking again. Harry had suggested that he should go to get a sense of closure, but it had been Draco wanting to spite his father with how he was doing now that had peaked Theo’s interest. He’d been afraid of his father for so long, rebelling in the smallest ways that he could conceivably get away with. But with his father behind bars and his life as he knew it coming to an end, he could think of no better time to finally stick it to his old man. Show him once and for all who he was, that he was gay, dating his father’s arch nemesis and becoming a better man that he’d ever been.

Harry ran a hand through his soft hair scratching lightly as his scalp.

“I can almost hear the cogs turning in your head, what’s on your mind love?”

Theo didn’t answer for a moment, “I’m going to see my father.” He said finally nuzzling his ear against Harry’s chest.

The arms around him tightened slightly, “You are?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I want him to see me, the whole me. All the bit’s he didn’t want to see, my gayness and my happiness.” He said earnestly, “disappoint him one more time.” He added with a slight chuckle.

Harry dropped a kiss to the top of his head, “I can’t say I’m thrilled with your motives but I’m glad you’re going to go.”

“You are?” Theo asked in the same tone Harry had earlier.

“Of course, I’m proud of you that you’re going to be the bigger man-”

“Oh I’m the bigger man alright!” Theo looked up at his boyfriend wiggling his eyebrows.

“Theo…” Harry whined.

“Sorry, I can’t help myself.” He apologised.

Harry rolled his eyes, but Theo could tell he wasn’t mad, his eyes were still twinkling. “As I was saying…” he gave an exaggerated sigh, “I’m proud that you’re going to be the bigger man, I think you’d regret it later if you didn’t do this.”

Theo couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face, Harry saying that he was proud of him was always going to illicit that reaction from him.

“You’re probably right.” He conceded propping his chin against Harry’s chest looking up at him, “It was Draco that convinced me in the end…”

“Oh?” Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

“You definitely got me thinking!” he added quickly with a smirk, “but Draco and I were talking yesterday. He sent a letter back to the Ministry on Saturday and was having a crisis about whether he’d made the right decision.”

“Draco is going to see his father too?” Harry repeated looking a little stunned by this revelation.

Theo nodded, “He was rambling about how him punching you and working with Hermione on the appeal showed that he cared. But having actually sent the letter he was worried that he made the wrong choice.”

“Wow.”

Theo laughed quietly, “Don’t tell him I said any of that or he might smack me too.”

Harry chuckled in response, “I wouldn’t worry too much, he broke his hand on my jaw so I’m sure you’d be fine.”

His jaw dropped open; Draco had failed to tell him that little detail about the fight that had erupted between them. “Really?!”

“Yeah, Madam Pomfrey had to fix a couple of fractured fingers.”

“Oh, that’s perfect ammunition to have in the bank for when he’s being an arse.” Theo gave Harry a mischievous look to which he responded by rolling his eyes. He reached up to stroke a finger along his boyfriend’s jaw where the bruise used to be, “I can see how he broke his fingers, it’s a helluva jaw.”

“Is this you trying to flirt?” Harry said with humour in his voice, “Because I’d rather not be thinking about Malfoy while I’m kissing you.”

Theo gave the Gryffindor a sceptical look, “Are you sure? He’s got dreamy eyes-”

“-shut up!” Harry growled reaching down to hook his hands under his armpits and pulling him up so they were face-to-face, “totally killing the mood Theo.”

He sniggered bracing his elbows against Harry, “I’m sure I can distract you…” he muttered lowly before sliding his hands either side of his face and kissing him full on the mouth.

Harry groaned into his mouth his arms still wrapped around him. One of the Gryffindors hands snaking down his body to cup his arse pulling him in closer. Theo retaliated by nibbling at Harry’s lower lip taking the opportunity to slip his tongue in when he gasped with pleasure. The continued to kiss until Theo felt himself rutting his hips against Harry’s and he broke the kiss panting slightly.

“I can’t… not tonight…” he manged to splutter between breaths.

Harry nodded and kissed his forehead, “Neither.”

Theo grinned and pecked at his lips again before snuggling back down into Harry’s chest trying to calm the throbbing erection in his pants. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go further with Harry because his body clearly said otherwise. But with everything going on, the fact that they weren’t long dating and knowing that Harry had never been with a man before was weighing on Theo’s mind. They would cross that bridge when they got to it but for now, he was more than content with just spending the next few hours in Harry’s arms as he ran fingers through his hair. This was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay getting this chapter up my lack of finally caught up to me and I finally crashed. I didn't help that between naps I was fighting writers block, but we got there in the end. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter but I'll cope otherwise who knows when I'd update next. Thanks for being patient with me and hopefully we return to better scheduled updates soon.  
Lyrics are Toothpaste kisses by The Maccabees


	31. You and Nott? You're actually dating?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ahem* I have nothing to say for myself about my absence. Idk things happened then classes started back up and I got distracted by assassins creed and reading other people’s fanfics instead of working on my own… anywayyyy one DementedOldCircusOwl flooded my inbox and frankly made me feel ashamed that after promising myself that I wouldn’t be the person who started a fic and abandon it, that I had essentially done that (but thank you for making me remember). So, I’m back… I can’t promise regular updates like before as while I’m in lockdown I’m also still attending online classes and have assessments due, but I will do my best. I’m also going to be going back to fix several frankly embarrassing errors I discovered whilst doing a re-read. Shall we crack on?

_And judgment taught us that our hearts were wrong, but they're the ones that we'll look down upon_

_The rules say our emotions don't comply, but we'll defy the rules until we die_

_So let's be sinners to be saints, and let's be winners by mistake_

_The world may disapprove, but my world is only you_

_And if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me_

***

**Harry**

The week leading up to the publication of their article in The Quibbler had passed surprisingly quickly. Both he and Theo had slipped into a routine of quietly attending classes and spending as much time as possible away from prying eyes as they possibly could. While the negative attention towards his boyfriend hadn’t stopped it had lessened in intensity somewhat as people began to get bored with their lack of response to it. Theo, at Harry’s constantly calm reminder, had not let it affect him outwardly, so that the more vocal of opposition couldn’t gather anymore ammunition. Though while he outwardly was keeping a calm and level head, Harry knew better than anyone that the Slytherin still harboured doubts that he was worth all the effort and had tried to reassure him every chance he got.

That morning they had met in the corridor of the entrance hall before breakfast, ducked in an alcove so that Harry could wrap Theo in a hug. Apart from the coverage of his trial and his Father’s case, Theo was a stranger to media scrutiny and certainly not on the level that Harry was used to. They both knew that I wouldn’t ramp up until the following day when the Daily Prophet got hold of the story, but it was going to be enough to just have the student attention.

Theo had dropped his head to Harry’s shoulder and the Gryffindor had one arm wrapped around his boyfriends’ lithe body and the other running through his soft hair, blunt nails scrapping softly against his scalp. The Slytherin hummed appreciatively under his breath as he buried his face in the crook of Harry’s neck.

“It’s going be fine love.” Harry murmured quietly.

“Are you still sure you want this?” Theo whispered back, “Us? I mean.”

Harry gently push Theo’s head away from his neck and caught his eye, “More than anything.”

With a soft smile the brunette captured Harry’s lips in a soft kiss, “I guess it’s time to face the music then.” He sighed.

Nodding they pulled apart from their embrace, Harry immediately missing the warmth of his boyfriend’s body pressed up against his.

He let Theo leave first before finally making his way into the Great Hall and sliding into a seat next to Neville and grabbing himself a couple of slices of toast and slathered them in jam. Chewing on the corner of piece he let his eyes sweep the hall. Not many people still had a subscription to The Quibbler once the war had ended but there were still enough to begin a wave of conversation as it was shared amongst friends. He caught the eye of a younger Ravenclaw who was looking up from her copy which was propped up on her goblet between her and two other girls. Her eyes widened comedically and quickly dropped again as she began whispering frantically. Rolling his eyes, he looked over to the Slytherin table at Theo who was focussed intently on his own copy, no doubt reading it to check that the article was fair. Harry smiled at the small crease that had formed between his boyfriends’ eyebrows as he read, a hint of pink tongue at the corner of his lips. Dragging his attention away he shoved the rest of his toast in his mouth and pulled his copy of The Quibbler over to give it a quick skim.

Flicking to the article he resisted the urge to scoff at the title; _Charmed: Winning the heart of a hero. _He instead focussed on the large accompanying photo that caused his heart melt. It was of him and Theo grinning at each other during the interview in The Three Broomsticks, completely lost in each other eyes. Making a note to save the photo to put in his photo album that housed the photos of his parents and several of himself and his friends, he glanced over the article.

_Harry Potter, Chosen One and saviour of the Wizarding World… _

He rolled his eyes,

_…reached out to The Quibbler to comment on the article published in The Daily Prophet regarding his relationship with Theodore Nott, the son of Lazarus Nott noted Death Eater currently in Azkaban for his crimes…_

Harry frowned skipping forward in the article, he really didn’t want to read about Theo’s Father.

_…Potter sitting with Nott in The Three Broomsticks explained, a hand on Nott’s back, that the reports were partially accurate. Potter confirmed that the pair were in a relationship and had been on several dates over the last few weeks, but both emphatically denied claims that Potter was under a curse. Nott described such speculations as ‘blatant lies’ but did concede that due to his family’s involvement with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named that it was understandable that his motives were called into question. Nott went on to explain that he wasn’t a powerful enough wizard to curse Potter citing that Potter had thrown off an Imperius Curse in their 4th year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Potter further corroborated this story…_

Harry continued reading, satisfied thus far that the reporting was accurate to their interview. Noting with a small smile that Graytwig had made sure to include that Theo wasn’t trying to garner sympathy or advance his standing by dating Harry.

_…both Potter and Nott were insistent that they wished to be left to their relationship without fear of retaliation from others. Potter expressed justified disgust at the actions of those who had already been harassing his partner both via letter and in person within the school. _

_‘I want people to know that I’m happy with Theo and I want to enjoy my last year at Hogwarts with him without having to worry about him being sent death threats from strangers and being attacked in the corridor’ Potter had said with determination…_

Finishing Harry shut the magazine and stuffed it into his bag and glanced up to the Slytherin table. He met Theo’s eye as he too looked up and they smiled at each other, they were both satisfied with the tone of the article. Now it was time to face the masses.

***

Ron found him as he was heading back to the Gryffindor common room to collect his dragon-hide gloves that he had neglected to take with him for Herbology. Harry had been walking past an empty classroom when he had been pulled into it and the door slammed shut behind him.

He blinked in surprise as Ron paced backwards and forwards in the centre of the room before spinning to look at him a hard look on his face.

“So, it’s really a thing then?” Ron shot at him arms folded over his chest.

Harry lifted an eyebrow, “What?”

“You and Nott? You’re _actually _dating?”

“Oh, yeah. We are.”

Ron paused frowning, “You really broke up with _Ginny_ for _Nott_?!”

His friend had spat his boyfriends name with an air of contempt and Harry couldn’t help but bristle at the tone.

“_Theo,_” he began pointedly, “is my boyfriend yes. Ginny was actually really supportive of me finding out if I liked boys-”

“-I’ve known you for almost 8 years, you’re not…” he took a deep breath, “gay!” he huffed out at last.

Harry rolled eyes, “Well you’re technically right, I’m not gay… I’m bisexual.” sighing he took a step back before hauling himself up on a desk that was haphazardly pushed towards the wall, “Ron…” he looked up at his friend who was looking equal parts hurt and confused, “it’s like Luna said to me, I’ve been _told_ who I am and what I’ve needed to do for my entire life. I’ve never even had a chance to think about what my own favourite colour is yet alone who I’m attracted to-”

“-what’s your favourite colour?” Ron cut across him a blush now creeping up on his face.

Taken by surprise the raven-haired Gryffindor choked out a quiet “What?” after a moment of stunned silence.

“What’s your favourite colour?” he repeated.

Harry stopped to think, his frustration melting as images of Theo’s blue eyes and matching blue button up shirts flashed before his eyes. “Blue.” He answered finally a small smile on his lips.

Ron nodded and walked over to sit beside him on the adjoining desk. “Luna’s right…” he said looking out over the classroom.

“She often is.” He replied with a laugh.

The red head sighed heavily, hunching forward to hang his head “Sorry for…” he gestured wildly to the room, “ya know… I guess I’m still a bit raw about Hermione and then the thought of Ginny being hurt too I just-”

Placing a hand on Ron’s arm Harry smiled gently at his friend, “It’s okay, I understand. In our defence this isn’t exactly how we wanted everyone to find out it just sort of happened.”

Ron nodded but didn’t reply folding his hands in his lap thinking. Harry checked his watch and sighed, he didn’t have time to fetch his gloves if he wanted to be on time and hoped that Professor Sprout had a spare pair he could borrow.

“We should get to Herbology.” He said finally as the silence stretched out before them.

Ron nodded and rose to his feet gathering up his bag and waiting as Harry did the same. As he made to leave the room Ron blocked the door with his arm.

“He makes you happy?” he asked quietly.

Harry nodded emphatically a grin spreading across his face, “More than anything.”

Ron nodded again and lowered his arm, “He does anything to hurt you and I’m kicking his arse to next Wednesday.” He muttered as they left the classroom and made their way down to the Herbology greenhouses.

Harry rolled his eyes good naturedly, thankful that this conversation had gone better than he thought it would, “I’ll let Theo know.” He replied with a smile.

***

Herbology and Divination passed with little issue, their Professors were really beginning to load them up on their NEWT work which left little room for idle gossip. Harry had noticed a few looks thrown his and Theo’s way through out the day but thankfully no one had outright accosted either of them. Yet. Harry knew that he was bound to be in for interrogation once he returned to the common room, as did Theo, so he had mouthed ‘good luck’ at his boyfriend over dinner. Theo had responded with an overacted mime of tying a noose around his neck but had grinned back at him.

Walking through the portrait hole he was met by a wall of silence as those who were sitting around all stopped to look at him. It was eerily similar to when he was thought to be the heir of Slytherin all those years ago. Rolling his eyes, he walked as nonchalantly as possible over to Hermione who was sitting at a table with Neville and dropped down beside them in an empty chair.

“Hi Harry,” Hermione said with a smile.

“Hey.” He replied trying to smile back as genuinely as possible, they room was still much too silent for his liking.

Neville cracked a grin, “Nice article by the way.”

Harry chuckled, “You saw?”

“I think the majority of the school has seen by now.” He responded doodling on a piece of parchment.

“That’s probably true,” he conceded.

“I don’t have a problem with it,” Neville said with a shrug, “All things considered I’m not really in a position to judge…” he added under his breath.

“All things con-”

“-What are you playing at Potter?!” the shrill voice of a third year cut through their conversation and Harry turned to look at the small blonde girl that stood in the centre of the room, hands on her hips eyes flashing dangerously.

“I beg your pardon?” he answered carefully, keeping his voice calm and steady.

“I said what are you playing at? ‘Dating’ that snake.” She was scowling as she punctuated the sentence with air quotes.

Sighing Harry stood up from his spot and glanced around the room, “I’m assuming you’ve all read the article. Frankly we shouldn’t have had to write it, most people would have the common decency to leave people well enough alone, especially their love lives,” he took a deep breath, “and especially when it comes to those they claim to be a war hero.”

Harry glanced at the third year who was looking a little ashamed but still trying to hold her ground.

“Because of who I am Theo and I’s relationship is in the public eye but that gives you no excuse to treat him like shit. I care about and trust him and frankly that should be more than enough for the lot of you.” Harry let his eyes sweep the room once more, “I’m only going to say this once, leave us the _fuck_ alone.”

With that he gave one more pointed look to the room and turned back to Hermione and Neville and dropped back into the seat he had vacated. Hermione took his hand briefly and squeezed it with a smile before bending over Neville’s homework. Slowly the silence of the room began to abate as people began to talk amongst themselves. Harry hoped wistfully that this would be the end of anyone in Gryffindor house having an issue with his relationship with Theo and that his message to leave them alone would spread. He hoped Theo was coping okay in the Slytherin common room dealing with his own backlash. He quickly formulated a plan to use his invisibility cloak and the Marauders Map to slip out early the next morning to meet Theo so they could eat breakfast alone. Theo deserved at least a morning of peace before the inevitable shit storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for my absence but hopefully we're now back on track. I will catch up with comments soon.  
Thank you once again for reading, commenting, bookmarking and leaving kudos. Love you all.  
Lyrics are: Sinners by Lauren Aquilina


	32. You deserve happiness too Ginny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Ginny isn’t a perspective I usually write from and this is probably going to be a one off but I listened to this song and I HAD to use the lyrics cause it fit so perfectly also the chapter was getting very long and I felt like it was best to split it up (also holy fuck 50k words?!)

_You looked so good in green, I hope you're well, and you look so good with him_

_And I'm proud of you still, take care of my shirt, warm and red_

_I hope you think of me, still as your friend_

_I hope you love yourself, your body and heart, I hope you feel happy, that's all I want_

***

Ginny was standing apart from the others hovering near the fire, a small sad smile on her face as she watched the conversation between Harry, Neville and Hermione. His speech to the Common Room had been full of thinly masked love and emotion and she had found herself on the brink of tears more than once. Ron slipped in beside her and put a hand on her shoulder.

“You good?” he asked seriously.

She nodded, “Yeah, I’m happy for him.” She was sincere, she was happy for him, but she could also hear the waver in her voice that betrayed some of the pain that she did feel.

If Ron heard the falter, he didn’t comment on it and instead squeezed her shoulder, “Doesn’t mean you can’t hurt...”

“I know,” she agreed quietly, “I won’t deny it hurts but Harry’s happiness isn’t mine to stifle. He deserves this.”

“You deserve happiness too Ginny.”

She looked up at him and the corners of her mouth quirked up at his slightly uncomfortable expression, dealing with emotions really wasn’t his forte, “I know,” she repeated, “I’ll find someone one day that makes me smile at them like Harry smiles at Theo.”

He smiled back, “I know you will.” He answered firmly before dropping a kiss to her forehead. Something he hadn’t done since they were kids, and even then, they were rare. “And Merlin help them when you do.”

She sniggered, “Fuck you.”

Ruffling her hair Ron gave her a lopsided grin before he walked away and over to the boy’s dormitory. She watched him as he gave Harry a nod and cocked his over in her direction in a silent instruction to go and talk to her.

Harry caught her eye and he excused himself to make his way over to her, stopping a couple of feet away from her.

“Hey…” he muttered quietly unable to hold her gaze.

“Hey…” she responded equally as quietly; eyes cast down.

An uneasy silence fell over them for a few moments as they both tried to formulate their next words to each other.

“We haven’t spoken in a while…” Harry started, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck awkwardly, “how are you?”

Ginny lifted her eyes to look at him and she let her eyes sweep his face before settling to look him in the eyes. Harry held the look, and she could tell he was trying to read her face, but she was trying to keep a calm neutral expression.

“I’m okay-” she raised a hand when he went to interrupt her, “I mean it. I mean I can’t deny that I was secretly hoping that you’d discover that you didn’t like guys and you’d come back to me…” she let out a soft chuckle, “but seeing you smiling at Theo in that photo… the love in your eyes, I’d be selfish to deny you that.” The red head extended the hand she had raised and cupped it Harry’s cheek and he instinctively leant into the soft touch. “You deserve that happiness.”

Harry smiled and she watched as a tear rolled down his check, his eyes had welled at her softly spoken words. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

She laughed at that wiping the tear away with the pad of her thumb, “Don’t be sorry for being happy Harry.”

“Still, I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I’m a big girl Harry, I’ll be okay.” She gave him a dazzling smile before dropping her hand from his face, “besides,” she added with a shrug, “you’re not the first boyfriend I’ve had that’s turned out to like guys…”

Harry blinked, “Wait, what?”

Her eyes flicked past him and Harry turned his head to see where she was looking. Following her eyes his gaze settled on Dean who was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Seamus talking with Neville.

“Dean?” he asked confused.

The fellow Gryffindor stepped up to his side and sniggered, “Look closer.”

Turning fully, she watched as he surveyed the scene in front of them more closely and had to stop herself from laughing when she saw the realisation crash over him. Seamus had his hand on Dean’s lower back and murmuring quietly into the dark-skinned boy’s ear.

“I didn’t even notice…”

“Well they’re a tad more subtle then you and Theo that’s for sure.” She replied with a small scoff, “Began thinking for a while there it was me turning you lot gay. I’m clearly just too much woman for you guys to handle.”

Harry let out a laugh and slung and arm around Ginny’s shoulders, “You _are_ a hell of a woman Ginny, but I don’t think you turned us… at least not me anyway, I think this has been simmering for a while. I think I’m bi rather than gay anyway…” he shrugged against her, “it’s all semantics really. Regardless you’ll make someone incredibly happy someday.”

Tucking herself into Harry’s side Ginny wrapped her arm around Harry’s waist, “If I get an ounce of the happiness you and Theo have it’ll be worth it.”

Harry grinned at her, giving her a squeeze. They held eye contact for a few moments before she pulled him to a hug, snaking her other arm around his waist. It would take time for her to feel completely okay again but seeing just how happy Harry was now that he had found this part of him, she wasn’t going to stand his way. If she was honest with herself she was more worried about the fact that she was going to have to break it to her mother that she wasn’t going to be fulfilling the long held dream of her and Harry getting married, having kids and living happily after. She chuckled softly at the image of her mother’s reaction to the news.

“What?” Harry murmured into the top of her hair where he had dropped his head.

“I’m just picturing Mum’s reaction to reading the article.”

She felt Harry stiffen under her embrace, “I didn’t even to think to warn her. Oh _fuck__!_”

Ginny laughed and pulled away from him, “Not to say this is karma but…”

Harry groaned, “That’s cold.”

“You’ll be fine Golden Boy mum loves you like her own.” Ginny gave him one last smile before walking away, “Night!” she called over her shoulder on her way to the girl’s dormitory, she was frankly exhausted and relished in the idea of being able to sleep for at least a week. Without bothering to undress and change she flopped onto her four-poster bed and was asleep not soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand that wraps up another (albeit short) chapter. I think I've finally caught up on all the comments that you lovely people have left for me. Thank you as always for reading and I hopefully will see you again next week.  
Lyrics are: Green by Cavetown


	33. You’re braver than you give yourself credit for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a long one this week… it wasn’t meant to be but Draco and Hermione got off track and well this happened… so enjoy some hurt/comfort

_I wish that you could see the pain that I’ve seen and, all of the times I spent being not me and_

_I hope you know that it’s not always happy, in my head_

_'Cause I don't know, the perfect road to go down_

_But I know, I'm trying my best, I'm trying my best to be okay_

***

**Draco**

For almost a week Draco waited to hear back from the Ministry of Magic about his request to see his father. Every morning over breakfast he waited with bated breath to see his owl and it never came. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been kept busy between the avalanche of class work that had been dumped on the eighth years, the work he was doing with Hermione on his father’s case and keeping an eye on Theo who was still being ostracised for his relationship with Harry, his schedule was packed. Still he couldn’t help but worry that his letter had gone awry or he had been denied but not informed. The silence was driving him crazy.

It was Friday morning when an owl finally landed in front of his plate of dry toast. He hadn’t been paying attention. He had been clutching a hand over his eyes while trying to force food into himself, a pounding headache a painful reminder of his drinking the night before. He hadn’t planned to knock back almost a third of a bottle of Theo’s Fire whiskey, but his anxious nightmares had been steadily getting worse as the week had progressed and he had just wanted to have a night’s sleep without waking gasping and in tears. It _had_ worked so he ungrudgingly took the hangover that came with it. The owl nipped at his hand impatiently and Draco peered out through his fingers. The blond sighed and quickly pulled the letter off the owl who hooted indignantly before flying off. Seeing the Ministry seal, he felt his blood run cold and took a steadying breath. Glancing around looking for Theo to see if he had a matching letter but couldn’t find him at the Slytherin table. Draco wasn’t entirely surprised Theo and Harry had taken to eating early before the bulk of the students made their way down to breakfast before disappearing until morning classes started. Running a pale finger over the seal Draco paused before he slid a manicured nail under it to break it, unsure if he wanted to open it yet. He had Charms shortly and regardless of the what was written on the parchment enclosed it was going to have him completely distracted and Flitwick had already reprimanded him once for not paying attention in class. He bit at his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth lost in thought until a small hand placed on his shoulder pulled him out of the noise in his head. He tensed in fright and his head whipped to his right to see who the hand belonged to. Hermione was standing next to him a curious look on her face and he visibly relaxed under her touch.

“We need to go to Charms” she said quietly, and it was then that Draco realised that the Hall was almost devoid of other students.

He nodded mutely and the Gryffindor’s hand dropped from his shoulder as he rose to his feet, stuffing the letter into his robes.

“Are you okay?” she asked as they walked in the direction of class.

Draco hesitated for a moment, chewing on his lip again, only stopping with the bitter metallic taste of blood startled him into releasing the abused flesh, “I uh…” he trailed off licking off a drop of blood that threatened to run down his chin, “got a response from the Ministry… about seeing my Father.”

Hermione nodded slowly and looked at him out of the corner of her eye as if trying to read him, trying to gauge an appropriate response to what he had said.

“What did it say?” she asked finally, presumably unable to determine how he felt.

“I haven’t opened it.” He admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets as they walked up the stairs.

“You haven’t?” she asked and without even looking at her he could hear the confused frown in her voice.

Draco shook his head unsure if the Gryffindor was looking to catch the movement, “I don’t know… didn’t want to be distracted… Charms…” he mumbled trying to keep his voice steady but with the thrumming headache paired with sound of his heart beating in his ears he was struggling to hold his composure.

He didn’t want to break down again. He had suffered enough embarrassment when it had happened when he got the news of his Father the first time. Blubbering like a toddler in the middle of the Entrance Hall was hardly befitting a Malfoy, even a disgraced one. But when Hermione stopped walking and pulled on his elbow to stop him in his tracks, he felt the same rising of emotions.

She turned him to look at her, keeping her hand on his arm she stepped minutely closer and studied his face carefully. When her warm brown eyes met his steely grey, he felt his chest constrict, his breath catching in his throat. He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat and made to continue on his way to Charms, still determined to hold it together. She held fast, gripping him with strength Draco didn’t realise that she possessed. Without speaking a word, she released his arm, instead tugging his hand out of his pocket and linking it with his and pulling him in the opposite direction of their class. Not possessing the energy to fight the action, Draco allowed himself to be led upstairs.

It wasn’t until he was pushed into a room that he realised that she had led him to the Room of Requirement, which now resembled a small lounge. A warmly lit room boasting nothing more than a sofa in front of a fireplace. He again allowed Hermione to direct him, and he was lowered onto the sofa.

“…class…” he muttered, looking at his hands that were absentmindedly wringing in his lap now that Hermione had released them.

The brunette scoffed quietly taking a careful seat next to him, “No offence Draco, but you’re not exactly in a state to be in class right now…”

Draco bit his lip again, prompting a fresh burst of blood to grace his tongue, “But, you-” he almost cringed as his voice broke at the words.

“-I’ll catch up,” she cut him off and slowly reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, “I didn’t want to leave you like this.”

The Slytherin squeezed his eyes shut, hard. The caring tone of her voice was causing tears swim in his eyes, threatening to fall. He felt his chest tighten again; he didn’t deserve this level of caring from her. Sure, he had apologised but no amount of apologising could make up for what he had done. He pulled his shoulder out from under her hand and hunched forward, his entire frame clenched trying to breath. He could still feel her touch burning where it had been, and he felt even more upset from its absence.

“Draco…” Hermione whispered shifting slightly closer to him, carefully watching his reaction to the movement, “It’s okay I’m here…”

Before he could stop it, a sob wracked through him, the intensity of it scared him as his whole body heaved. Tears began pouring from him as he let out the harrowing cries that he had been supressing for well over a year. He was crying for everything that had happened, that he had witnessed, that he hadn’t been able to, no, _allowed_ cry about and it was all trying to fight its way out of him all at once. Gulping he pressed his palms to his eyes trying to force the tears to stop.

“Oh Draco…” Hermione said gently, and Draco stiffened. He had briefly forgotten that she was there witnessing this. Before he could do anything, she shifted closer and wrapped her arms around him and pulled him too her. Despite their height difference the way that he was hunched forward meant that his cheek was pressed to her clavicle, her hands circling his shoulders. “Is this okay?” she asked.

Stunned at the contact Draco hesitated for a second. He hadn’t been held in a long time and while the contact was certainly foreign and normally, he would have flinched away from it, but it seemed different with Hermione. He didn’t feel the overwhelming need to escape it, to run from the claustrophobia of it. Still shaking and unable to speak through the tears he instead just nodded into her shoulder and instinctively buried his face into her neck. His hands now fisting into the fabric of her sweater.

Hermione rested her check to the top of his head shushing him gently between words of comfort, the tips of her fingers from one of her hands drawing lazing patterns on his arm as he continued to cry into her.

Draco didn’t know how long they sat there, but Hermione continued to hold him as he cried. She had eased him to lean back against the sofa from where he had been hunched forward. He still had he face buried in her neck as his breathing normalised, inhaling the gentle scent of honeysuckle that seemed to linger on her skin.

The brunette ran a hand through his hair, gently pulling back the strands that had become stuck to his face, “How are you feeling?” she murmured quietly.

He hiccoughed slightly and answered with a shrug, unsure if he could trust his voice to work. In truth, he felt better for letting out the pent-up emotion, but it had left him with a worse headache and feeling a little numb.

“I won’t speak a word of this… if you’re worried about that…”

“I know.” He trusted her.

Hermione took a deep breath, “I think you needed that.”

He chuckled a little at that, though it sounded humourless to his ears, “Mmm.” He hummed quietly.

He slowly withdrew himself from the Gryffindor’s embrace, a faint blush on his cheeks as he caught sight of the damp splotches on her clothes. He felt cold and small without her arms around him, but he had overstepped his welcome already. He should he leave, maybe reacquaint himself with the bottle of whiskey, Theo would probably join him today.

Reading that he was considering leaving Hermione grabbed at his hands and help them in her own, “You don’t have to run off…”

Draco swallowed hard, “I should go. I’m sorry for crying on you…”

“Stay!” Hermione blushed at her outburst and quickly averted her gaze, “Please…?”

He raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t make another attempt to move. She was still holding his hands in her and he surprised even himself when he didn’t withdraw them.

“I…um…” she stuttered looking a little frazzled, maybe she had expected him to leave despite her pleas. “Are you going to read the letter?” she asked finally.

Draco pulled one of hands away to pull the now crumpled letter from his pocket and held it out to the Gryffindor, “Here.”

Releasing his other hand, she took the letter in both of hers and turned it so the seal was face up, “Are you sure you don’t want to-”

“No.” he shook his head firmly, “Please?”

She nodded and quickly opened the envelope and pulled out the folded parchment. Unfolding it slowly she scanned the short letter.

Draco looked at her expectantly as her brown eyes ran back and forward over the words. He didn’t know what answer he was hoping for. If he was allowed to go and see his father, he was going to have to prepare to _actually_ see him, but if he wasn’t…

“You can go and see him.” Hermione said breaking through his thoughts.

Draco blinked for a second, “Really?!”

She nodded handing him the letter.

***

_Dear Mr Draco Lucius Malfoy_

_I am writing to accept your request for visitation with your father Lucius Abraxas Malfoy._

_Therefore, on the day of the 8th of October 1998 at _ _10am you will be transported to Azkaban for the above-mentioned visitation._

_Arrangements will be made with Headmistress Minerva McGonagall for your exemption from lessons for that day._

_Yours sincerely,_

_John Dawlish_

_Head Auror, Ministry of Magic_

***

Draco refolded the letter and sunk back into the cushions of the sofa, “I guess I’m seeing him then…” he muttered.

“Next Thursday too…” Hermione added after a moment, clearly she had been working out when the 8th was.

Exhaling heavily, he ran a hand over his face, “Yeah, _fuck_.”

“How are you feeling about seeing him?” Hermione had kicked her shoes off and tucked her feet up under her so that she could sit facing him on the sofa.

Draco hesitated, that was a good question. How _did_ he feel about seeing Father for the first time since the trial? He responded with a shrug, “I don’t know, I want to see him for the sake of telling him what _we’re_ doing but I also don’t know how I’m going to face him after everything that happened.”

The brunette nodded slowly, a small crease between her brows as she thought carefully about her response, “Don’t let him get to you about what you did and didn’t do Draco.” She said slowly, “At the end of the day, what happened has happened. You’ve been trying your best to make amends, especially to me. Not to mention you’re also trying to help him when no one would blame you for walking away from him.”

Draco offered her a half smile, “I don’t think I’m doing much to ‘make amends’ I’ve _only _apologised to you once, which is hardly enough, and I still feel guilty for everything else.”

“You’ve made amends to me,’ she smiled back, “Apology aside, your actions to help your Father, to help Theo through all of this is more than enough to show me how much you’re trying.”

He shrugged one of his shoulders, “I guess…”

“You’re not as bad as you think you are.”

Draco barked out a laugh before he could stop himself, “Way to crush my Slytherin pride!”

Hermione grinned back, “All bark and no bite, you are.”

He had to agree with that. If his past actions had shown anything, he could talk a big game, but he was a coward at heart. He sighed, hunching forward again so he could hang his head to avoid looking at Hermione, “I’m afraid,” he whispered, “I’m afraid I’m going to buckle under him and… I don’t know… he’s not as bad as Theo’s dad but-”

Hermione cut him off by leaning forward to cup cheek with her warm hand and tilted his head up to look at her, “You’re going to be fine Draco,” she whispered back, “You’re braver than you give yourself credit for. Plus, you have me and the others behind you.”

Draco barely heard a word she said as the pounding of his heart flooded his ears at their proximity. He couldn’t stop his eyes flickering to her mouth for a brief second. Swallowing hard he felt his face flush under her touch, “Er, yeah…” he cleared his throat awkwardly and quickly stumbled to his feet. “I… uh need to find Theo. Make sure he’s okay…”

He quickly spun on his heal and stumbled out of the Room of Requirement. What the hell was wrong with him?! He wasn’t one to act like that. _‘she was touching me; I don’t like people touching me right now. Even Mother can’t do that.’_ It had to be that. Nothing more than a response to unexpected touch. He almost ran down to the Slytherin Common room, he didn’t have an afternoon class, so he was going to find Pansy avoid the entire topic of their Fathers over a glass of wine. He desperately needed a distraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the ending, I didn't really know how to wrap it up but I didn't want to delay it anymore.  
Thanks as always for reading and I'm loving the comments you guys are leaving! See you next week!  
Lyrics are: Trying my best by Anson Seabra


	34. I mean it, thank you for helping me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rubs back of neck sheepishly* …It’s been a while. Hi! I’m not dead… I don’t really have an excuse, school got crazy between lockdown and placement and on top of just life in general this fell by the wayside and I spent most of my time reading fanfic instead of writing it. Although all that reading now means I’ve got a million and one ideas of other fanfic I wanna write so I guess watch this space for something other than this. Updates will probably still be a tad sporadic for a while since finishing classes for the year (and passing despite the struggle which is online class) my schedule has fallen apart and pair that with the Assassin’s Creed Valhalla release I’m all over the show, but I would like to get back to once a week or so if I can. Anywho, I guess that’s enough of me rambling and I should crack back on with the story.

_I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you, yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you_

_I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine, now I'm shining too, because, oh, because I've fallen quite hard over over you_

_If I didn't know you, I'd rather not know, if I couldn't have you, I'd rather be alone_

***

**Hermione**

Hermione didn’t get a proper chance to talk to Draco again until Monday. She had tried to go looking for him over the weekend to discuss their next steps with his Father’s case, but she hadn’t been able to find him. If she was being completely honest with herself, she also wanted to find him to make sure that he was okay. His emotional outburst on Friday had been intense and it was bound to have left him feeling raw. She also wanted to apologise for overstepping her boundaries in touching him, she was naturally a physical comforter and pulling him into a hug was almost instinct, but the way that he had run from her… she wanted to assure him that she wouldn’t do it again without his consent. They had a standing arrangement now to meet in the Library on Monday’s after dinner for a few hours before curfew to go over the case and she hoped that he would still come after what had happened.

Taking her usual seat at the back of the library Hermione dug her Herbology homework out of her bag and poised her quill over the beginning of her essay, trying to add to it. Several minutes passed of her not making any progress. She had zoned out, her thoughts turning to Draco. There had been several seconds during their time together on Friday where she had thought they might have kissed. She had tried to avoid thinking about it all weekend, burying herself in work and spending time with Ginny instead. It had worked for the most part but now she could see nothing but the Slytherin’s face inches from hers, grey eyes shining, and cheeks still flushed from crying. How would she have reacted if his lips had descended on hers? Would she have pulled away? _Or_ would she have kissed him back, running her fingers through his soft hair? Her heart thumped at the thought-

“-Hi.” Draco slipped into the seat opposite her.

Snapping back into the present moment Hermione flushed bright red avoiding Draco’s eyes. She made herself busy by shoving her Herbology homework away and pulling out some fresh parchment. “Hi.” She replied lamely. “How are you?”

There was a moment of hesitation from the blond and she cast her eyes up from her bag to look at him through her lashes. There was a moment of vulnerability before characteristically Malfoy-esque smirk settled on his face, “Fantastic.” He drawled.

Setting the parchment on the desk between them she quirked a brow up at him in quiet questioning.

Draco held her gaze, jaw clenched, seemingly trying to get her to back down from her line of enquiry but before she could concede victory, he dropped his eyes, cheeks tinted a faint pink.

Looking at his hands that were interlinked on the table he sighed heavily and shrugged, “Alright, I’ll admit that I’m less than fantastic, but all things considered I’m fine.”

Hermione’s brow furrowed slightly as she nodded in understanding, “Look, I know this friendship between us is still new and I understand that you don’t fully trust me yet but I’ll be here if you ever want to talk and you know I’ll keep it between us.”

Draco was quiet for several moments contemplating what she said nibbling on the corner of his lip in a very un-Malfoy manor, “I’m trying to trust you I just- I don’t-“ He sighed again, “One thing is reinforced in Slytherin is that _everyone _has an ulterior motive when that’s built upon lessons from the likes of my Father...” He shrugged one shoulder.

“Sounds like quiet the recipe for trust issues.” She joked.

He smirked at her, and she felt something in her chest constrict, “Indeed. But I’m trying I want to trust you…” he muttered quietly before flashing her a small grateful smile which she returned warmly.

They looked at each other for a drawn-out minute before Hermione flushed and ducked down to fetch out a hair tie from her bag and messily swept her curls up into a bun and away from her face.

She cleared her throat, “So…”

“So…” he mimicked.

“We need to write a letter to Kingsley about an appeal.”

Draco nodded slowly, he jaw clenched, “Yeah…” he breathed, “do-” he hesitated and Hermione waved her hand for him to continue, “do you- do you really think it’ll work?”

The Gryffindor hesitated for a moment as she absently smoothed out her sheet of parchment, she didn’t want to lie to him but also wanted to be as delicate about the situation as she could remembering how broken the blond hand been just days previous. “I’m honestly not sure Draco, but it’s worth a shot. I mean, we have some legitimate points but with the court of public opinion crying for blood…” she trailed off.

Draco shot her a grimace, “But it has to help that you’re on first name basis with the Minister though.”

Hermione huffed out a laugh at that, “Well as much as I would like to avoid being accused of using my name and connections for my own benefit, it certainly can’t hurt.”

The Slytherin couldn’t help the bark of laughter that escaped him at that, and hastily muttered an apology at Madam Pince as she glared at him around the shelf she was stacking, “You’re talking to a Malfoy, Hermione. I’m pretty sure every Malfoy since the founders has been using their name and connections like this.”

She flashed him a wry smile and picked up her quill, “I concede your point,” she answered with a shrug, “I guess I’m still used to having to work exceptionally hard to make my voice mean anything in the Wizarding World.”

Draco sobered quickly and nodded solemnly, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for my role in making it that much harder. You shouldn’t have needed to work as hard as you did, your marks and accomplishments should have been enough.” He flashed her a grin, “You’re brilliant.”

Hermione felt herself blushing again and busied herself with scratching out a greeting to Kingsley to distract from the warm feeling in her chest that Draco’s words caused her. It was becoming harder and harder to deny to herself that there was something more to her feelings regarding Draco. At first, she had put it down to simple attraction, there was no denying that he was good looking. That was a simple fact that even she could admit too and had done so for years, despite how outrageously awful he had been. Now though, after spending time with him, and seeing the more vulnerable side that allowed himself to be held by her and speak of his fears… She couldn’t help but imagine what could come of it if he felt the same.

Draco waving his hand in front of her face shook her from her thoughts.

“What?” she asked trying to hold back a blush at being caught staring into space looking at him.

The blond quirked the corner of his mouth up at her, “I was trying to ask you what you were going to write to the Minister but were pretty out of it.”

“Oh, sorry I was just thinking.” She muttered, heart thumping just a little bit harder than was strictly necessary.

“Naturally.” He replied with a wink.

Hermione’s breath hitched a little at the action and to try and cover it, promptly flashed him a two finger salute before she pulled out her notes, “I was going to request an appeal on the basis of the lack of retrial questioning the legality and the previously planned removal of dementors from Azkaban.”

Draco considered this and nodded, “Sounds like a solid plan.”

Picking up her quill Hermione began to write.

***

_Dear Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt,_

_I hope this letter finds you well._

_I am writing on behalf of and in support of my friend Draco Malfoy to formally request an appeal into the decision made by the Wizengamot to overturn the sentence for his father Lucius Malfoy without a retrial._

_Due to unusual nature of this decision and the lack of precedence for changing a sentence without any form of retrial or representation for those charged, it must be called into question the legality and motive behind such a decision. _

_It must also be questioned as to why, after the announcement to remove the Dementors from Azkaban due to their allegiance to Lord Voldemort, why this is now the punishment of the Dementors Kiss is being requested and why this has been fast tracked to be carried out before said removal is complete._

_I understand that this is probably outside of your jurisdiction as the Minister of Magic, however your assistance in this matter would be highly appreciated._

_Thank you,_

_Yours sincerely,_

_Hermione Granger_

***

Signing with a flourish Hermione slid the letter across the table to Draco, who spun the parchment to read it. Once finished he smiled and slid it back, “Thank you for doing this, here’s hoping it helps.”

She gave him a small smile back, “I hope so.” She replied sincerely, “Will you let me know if I need to copy it and send one out on behalf of Pansy?”

He nodded, “I’ll ask her once I get back to the common room tonight and let you know in the morning.”

“Perfect.” Hermione began gathering her things and returning them to her bag. It was getting late and she wanted to try and finish her Herbology essay before she went to bed but knew that if she stayed here was going to be hopelessly distracted by Draco sitting across from her.

“Leaving so early?” he queried raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I promised Harry I’d help him with Herbology.” She lied, not wanting to give away the real reason she was running from the library. With all her belongings packed up she stood before slinging her bag over her shoulder.

Draco stood quickly and stepped towards her, blocked her from leaving. He was standing close enough to her that she could feel his body heat. They locked eyes and she suddenly found it harder to breathe.

“I mean it, thank you for helping me.” He said with an honest smile.

She shrugged the shoulder not being weighed down by her bag strap, “Of course it’s no bother.”

“Good night Hermione,” he muttered and before she even had a chance to respond he bent down and pressed a kiss to her cheek before retreating and sitting back down in his seat.

Hermione felt her face heat as her heart stuttered, “G-good night.” She squeaked and practically ran from the room and towards the Gryffindor tower. She needed to find Ginny and talk to her about what just happened. Her heart was pounding and the spot on her cheek was practically burning. She couldn’t deny it any longer, she was falling for Draco bloody Malfoy and she had no idea what do with that revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual thank you so much for reading and sorry for making you wait so long for this chapter. Here's to semi-regular updates in the future!
> 
> Stay safe out there guys xx
> 
> song is: falling in love at a coffee shop by landon pigg
> 
> ((I have a new fic up called Shaping His Future - if you want to read a fic of Harry having enough and taking control of his life check it out!))


	35. I’m going to live the life you never let me have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof it’s a long one today also warning for the use of gay slurs but were we expecting anything else from Theo’s dad?? ((but also look who's actually on top of their writing for once?))

_My daddy put a gun to my head, said if you kiss a boy, I'm gonna shoot you dead_

_So I tied him up with gaffer tape and I locked him in a shed, then I went out to the garden and I fucked my best friend_

_'Cause my high hopes are getting low, because these people are so old_

_The way they think about it all. if I tried, I would never know, my high hopes are getting low_

_But I know I'll never be alone, it's alright, we'll survive, 'cause parents ain't always right_

***

**Theo**

Thursday morning came around far too quickly in Theo’s opinion. He had woken up feeling sick to his stomach at the prospect of seeing his father and had considered while standing under the scalding water of the shower about whether he could justifiably decide not to go and instead hide in his bed with the hangings drawn. But the thought of letting Harry down after he had been so vocal in his support, had eaten at him until he had forced himself out of the shower and to get dressed in his nicest blue button down and smartest pants and shoes. Though it was only 7.30am and time for breakfast Theo snatched up his flask and took a fortifying pull from its contents. While accepting that drinking so early in the morning was far from healthy behaviour, he justified his actions with the knowledge that facing his father would be far less torturous if he had a couple of shots beforehand.

Theo glanced at Draco, who like him was sitting on his bed staring into middle distance contemplating heading to breakfast in the Great Hall. The blond looked like Theo felt, his face was pale and drawn and he had purple smudges under his eyes. Making eye contact he held up his flask in silent question.

Draco considered it for a second before shaking his head, “I feel sick enough without it…”

Theo hummed in understanding before pulling himself to his feet with a groan, “I better go, I promised Harry I’d see him before he went to class.”

Draco waved him off.

Leaving the Slytherin common room Theo spotted Harry leaning up against the wall opposite the hidden doorway, his bag slung over his shoulder. Looking up Harry flashed him a small smile and walked up and wrapped an arm around his waist.

Theo melted into the embrace and in turn put his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders.

“I nicked some food from the kitchens so we can go eat breakfast way from the Great Hall.” Harry stated.

Warmth spread through Theo at the care and forethought Harry had for how he was feeling and pulled him closer and wrapping him into a hug burying his face into the shorter boy’s hair.

“Thank you, babe.” He muttered into the top of Harry’s head.

Harry chuckled softly. “Of course, love. We can go eat in an unused classroom; it’s getting too cold outside to sit by the lake.”

Pressing a kiss to the Gryffindor’s head he reluctantly stepped away and instead intertwined their hands. “Okay, let’s go.”

They didn’t speak as they headed up to the third floor and into an empty charms classroom. Theo’s mind was running over potential scenarios for todays events and he felt that Harry didn’t know what to say to break through his thoughts.

Theo allowed himself to be pulled to the floor and he crossed his long legs below him. Harry handed him a plate of toast and jam from his bag and set about fixing him a cup of tea. Theo raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend as he made his tea exactly to his preference, milk and teaspoon and a half of sugar.

“How do you know how I take my tea?” he asked curiously, “I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it.” He took the cup gratefully.

Harry’s cheeks pinkened adorably and tried to deflect with shrugging his shoulders.

“You were watching me?” Theo prompted.

He made a noncommittal noise around a piece of toast in reply.

Theo grinned and took a sip of the tea, “Well thank you.”

They ate in relative silence, well Harry ate, Theo nibbled at the toast his stomach churning uncomfortably.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked after a while dusting off his hands.

Theo considered the question for a moment as he chewed on a miniscule bite of now cold toast, “I feel vaguely sick at the thought of seeing him.” He admitted softly, eyes downcast, “I want answers and to show him that he didn’t break me but…”

The raven-haired boy nodded and scooted himself over to his side and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. Theo nuzzled his face into Harry’s neck, “It is going to be hard to face him, love. There is no denying that, but you are strong and brave, and I believe in you.” Harry gently pushed him back so their eyes could meet, “And I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back to wrap you in hug and help to make it better.”

Theo quirked the corner of his mouth up in a wry smile, “I know.” He whispered.

Harry cupped his cheek and pulled him in for a sweet soft kiss, and Theo could feel the love and care emanating through it. Pulling away Harry licked his lips head cocked slightly, “Have you been drinking?” he asked solemnly.

“It was just a shot!” Theo instantly defended, “I needed some liquid courage to get through this.”

Harry studied him for a moment before exhaling slowly and nodding, “I guess I can understand that but can look after the flask until you get back? I don’t want you going to Azkaban drunk.”

The Slytherin bit his lip, he considered for a moment claiming that he left in his dorm so that he didn’t have to hand it over. He wasn’t sure he could get through this without having access to the firewhisky but he couldn’t lie to Harry. Sighing he reached into back pocket and with some degree of difficulty extracted the flask from it and handed it over to his boyfriend.

“Thanks Theo, I know that wasn’t easy.” He said slipping into the pocket of his robes, “I will give it back.”

Theo hadn’t realised how much he was worrying about not getting his flask back until Harry said that. Not wanting to much on what it meant to be so reliant on it he shook the thought from his mind. “You will?” he asked trying to keep the surprise from his face.

Harry gave him a small smile, “Of course,” he stated firmly, “I may not be entirely comfortable with the level of dependency or frequency that you drink but I’m not about to take it away from you like this. Not just because I know you probably just have a bottle of firewhisky in your room and could easily get another flask.”

Theo made no move to deny this.

“Look, I understand that it’s a coping mechanism and I would like to work on it in the future but now is not the time you have enough on your plate,” Harry pressed a kiss to his forehead, “So long as it doesn’t get any worse than it is right now.”

Theo swallowed thickly feeling a little overwhelmed with at the depth of understanding Harry had. Not trusting his voice, he simply nodded.

“Good.” Harry looked at his watched and sighed, “I have to head off.” He pulled his wand out and banished the breakfast things and hauled himself to his feet and offering a hand to Theo, which he took allowing himself to be pulled up as well. Harry pulled him into a tight hug. “It’ll be okay.” He stated firmly, “Send me a message when you get back and I’ll meet up with you.”

Theo nodded into Harry’s shoulder.

The Gryffindor pulled back and gave him a kiss, “Get yourself some answers and I’ll see you soon, love.”

Picking up his bag Harry gave him a grin which Theo tried to return but he knew it was probably nothing more than a grimace. They walked to the door and with a parting kiss went their separate ways, Harry heading to Transfiguration and Theo in the direction of the headmistress’ office.

* * *

The trip to Azkaban was a blur. Theo had hardly registered the floo trip to the Ministry or the Portkey that he, Draco and the Aurors accompanying them to the island until the overwhelming cold hit him and chilled him to the bone. Though the dementor presence had been drastically decreased there was no mistaking the oppressive cold that they caused, and Theo could scarcely imagine how horrendous it would have been when the prison was crawling with the dark creatures.

The two Slytherins followed the Aurors into the prison silently as they were led to their respective meeting rooms where they were to meet their fathers.

“The prisoners will be chained to their chairs and magic suppressor wards are in affect. Simply knock on the door when you wish to leave.” A sandy haired Auror that Theo hadn’t bothered to remember the name of informed them.

Taking a deep breath, he glanced at Draco who seemed to be doing the same as he set his Pureblood mask. Catching his eye Draco briefly reached over and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “Let’s get this over with.” He muttered and Theo responded with a brief nod.

Indicating to the Auror that he was ready the door was opened, and he stepped inside before it was shut behind him with a resounding clang. Looking around the room Theo couldn’t help but wrinkle his nose at the dank and damp walls coloured a mottled grey. There was nothing adorning the room and the only furniture was a rusty metal table with a matching an uncomfortable looking chair positioned at opposite sides. Sitting in the chair furthest from the door and chained to it was Theo’s father Lazarus.

Lazarus looked up at him when the door closed, this brow furrowed and an ugly sneer on his face. Theo felt his back straighten as he tried to look imposing and less like a frightened child. He took in his father’s appearance. Azkaban had not been kind to the pureblood lord. It had only been months, but he was a shade of his former self. He was gaunt and dirty, his usually soft brown hair streaked with grey was now almost black with dirt and hung limp around his face with grease. A beard now adorned his face instead of his typical goatee and it too was straggly and unkempt. And gone were his preferred robes instead he was wearing the standard issue black and white stripped uniform which from the look of it had been worn by numerous people before him and scarcely cleaned in that time.

“Father.” Theo greeted curtly trying to emanate an air of confidence as he walked over to the empty seat opposite his father and lowering himself into it folding his hands on the table.

“Theodore, how _nice_ of you to show your face finally.” Lazarus sneered.

Theo refrained from blatantly rolling his eyes at his tone, it was like being sucked back into his childhood before he was old enough to look after himself and went out of his way to avoid his father at every opportunity. “How are you?”

Lazarus scoffed, “How the _fuck_ do you think I am in the Merlin forsaken rock?”

This time Theo did roll his eyes and exhaled heavily, ‘_why the hell am I doing this again?!’ _he thought to himself, _‘answers and closure…’ _he was really beginning to hate the logical voice in his head.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Theo said, his voice dripping with barely concealed sarcasm and contempt.

Lazarus gave him a look that could only mean _‘like I care’ _and Theo found himself resisting the urge to punch his father in the face. After all this time, after all the suffering and misery the bastard couldn’t even appear to be remorseful or ashamed while being faced with the fate of the Dementors Kiss. Not even long enough to have a civil conversation with his only son.

“What are you _really_ doing here Theodore? I can’t imagine you truly want to see me; I am aware about how much you revile me.” Lazarus cut across his thoughts.

“With good reason,” Theo snapped back, his initial apprehension in facing his father making way for justifiable anger.

Lazarus didn’t reply and simply just raised an eyebrow at his son.

“Fine.” Theo spat trying to steady his nerves so that he could ask the questions that had plagued him since he was a terrified nine-year-old. “I want to understand why you did it.” He said trying to keep his voice even, “Why you killed mum.”

A bark of laughter startled Theo as it echoed through the quiet room, “That’s what you want to know?” Lazarus asked incredulously, “I’m pretty sure I explained that at the time boy.”

“Humour me.”

“Your behaviour needed correcting.” His father stated simply, “Your mother allowed you to get away with far too much nonsense. You have a duty as the heir to the Nott Family to marry the Parkinson girl and produce an heir.” His lip curled in disgust, “And aside from her mudblood sympathising tendencies _she_ led you to believe that you could get away with being a filthy little _fag_.”

Theo infinitesimally flinched, trying to not let his father’s words get to him, “And me being gay was a justifiable reason for murdering someone you were supposed to love.” He asked through ground teeth. The guilt he felt over his mother’s death was beginning to mount once more, his sexuality was the crux of his father’s decision to kill her.

Lazarus shook his head slowly, “Love?!” he spat, “Love doesn’t come into this. We both know our marriage was arranged, just like yours and Parkinson.”

“Pansy and I aren’t getting married father.” He retorted with a touch of exasperation. “I’m gay remember?!”

“No son of mine is a disgusting little faggot.”

“Well I guess I’m not your son then.” Theo retorted, he was blinking back angry tears, “Because I’m gay. I’m a fag, a nonce and I have a boyfriend who I love with everything I have.” A smile came over his face at the words, he hadn’t even told Harry that he loved him yet, “And if I have anything to say about it I’m going to putting a ring on his finger one day.”

Lazarus spat at him; his face contorted with rage at his passionate words, the spittle landing on the table not far from him. “I should have killed you too!” he screamed.

Theo brushed this aside, ignoring what he had just said as he rose to his feet. Placing his palms on the table he leant over to loom over his father, “I haven’t even told you the best part yet. My boyfriend is Harry Potter.”

His father let out a vicious snarl and began to yank at the chains around his wrists and body in an attempt to get at his son.

Watching his father for a moment struggling like some sort of crazed animal with what could only be disgusted amusement, Theo spun around and stalked over to the door and knocked on it, signalling that he was done with this meeting. The door scraped open and he turned to face Lazarus Nott one final time giving him a wry smile, “I’m going to live the life you never let me have. I’m going to be happy and make something of myself. Goodbye Lazarus.” With that he swept from the room and let the door slam shut behind him. Leaving his father to his fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the conversation between them is probably a little short but frankly my theo decided it was over and didn't want to talk anymore so... anyway thanks once again for reading! It's nice to be back.  
Lyrics are parents by yungblud
> 
> Also for those who are interested I have another story on the go (Shaping his future) which is a fic of Harry having enough and taking control of his life so check it out if you want. See you next week!!


	36. McGonagall was right, deep down he did care

_If you see the boy I used to be, could you tell him that I'd like to find him_

_And if you see the shell that's left of me, could you spare him a little kindness_

_'Cause I've been high and I've been low, I've spent a thousand nights alone, tryna hold on tight_

_And feelings come but they won't go, please won't someone take me home before I lose my mind_

***

**Draco**

Sitting opposite his father in Azkaban was a surreal experience for Draco. Sure, it wasn’t the first time in his life that his father had been here but the gravitas of knowing that it would be forever this time was extremely sobering. There was no Dark Lord around to break him out again. His father had never really recovered from his last stay, the nightmares that had plagued him left him looking sallow and drawn with deep blue and purple bags under his eyes and that was exacerbated by his unkempt appearance. As much as his father was a bastard, he hated seeing him like this, a shell of the proud and well-put together pureblood he had looked up to and idolised in his childhood.

Still just being inside of Azkaban prison was sobering, he had only been 15 last time his father was here and because of the climate of the war at the time he and his mother hadn’t deigned it necessary to arrange for visitation knowing he would eventually be broken out. He was thankful to Harry more than ever for testifying on his behalf at his trial and ensuring that he avoided being locked up here. While the lack of dementors was a plus the state of the whole prison was nothing short of squalor. Was it even legal to have people living in such conditions? Not that he expected many people cared. As far as the public were concerned those condemned to Azkaban were the worst of the worst and weren’t to be afforded such luxuries as nutritious food, dry bedding and being allowed to wash. Maybe, if he was able to save his father from the Kiss he could focus his efforts on improving the conditions in which the prisoners lived? He was proficient in some areas of law thanks in part to his father’s teaching, he had slipped out of potential custody enough times over the years, and Hermione would certainly know where to point him for information. It was something to consider anyway.

“I didn’t expect to see you, Dragon.” Lucius said, his voice thick with an emotion that Draco couldn’t quite place.

The nickname caused the breath to catch in his throat, his father hadn’t called him that since he was about ten before he was told he needed to grow up and present himself in a manor more befitting his status.

Draco swallowed thickly, “Father, I-” he didn’t know what to say. He still hated the man for what he did but seeing him like this… _fuck_ it hurt.

“Your mother said you’ve returned to Hogwarts as part of your probation.” Lucius drawled, “I guess we have Potter to thank for that.”

Ignoring the jab at Harry, Draco nodded, “Yes, I’m working on completing my NEWTs.”

“Are you still planning on working towards a Potions Mastery?”

Draco refrained from biting his lip, lest he be berated for the childish behaviour. In truth he hadn’t considered continuing his plan to gain a Potions Mastery since the death of his Godfather Severus. His death frankly hurt more than anything he had experienced during the war and the idea of not completing it with Uncle Sev as his Master and to congratulate him at the end wasn’t something he wanted to entertain.

“I’m not sure…” he finally said.

Lucius frowned at him, “Severus would still want you to do it.”

He blinked hard, fighting tears. “I know.” He replied softly.

The conversation lapsed into an awkward silence as Draco contemplated his future outside of Hogwarts. He didn’t want to dwell on it much, he knew his name was garbage so getting any job or qualification was going to be a nightmare. No credible business worth their salt would sully themselves by associating with him. Maybe forging his way ahead on his own into law was a good idea after all?

“We’re working on an appeal to save you from the Dementors Kiss. The whole process was shady, and we believe illegal, so we have a case.” He suddenly burst out, remembering the reason behind his visit.

“Who’s we?” Lucius queried an eyebrow raised.

“That doesn’t matter.” Draco replied with a dismissive wave, he didn’t want to bring up Hermione if he could avoid it, he knew that his father’s reaction would not be favourable if he did.

Lucius gave him an incredulous look, “Well, at any rate I’m pleased to see that you’ve seen the error of your behaviour and that you’ve forgiven me for-”

“-I haven’t forgiven you!” Draco spat, “I simply find the Dementors Kiss barbaric and in this case illegal. Nothing more.”

His father narrowed his eyes, “So you’re simply wasting precious resources on some feat of misplaced heroism? To what end? To appear more like Potter? To ‘fix’ the Malfoy name?!”

“I thought you’d be happy to not have to face the Dementors Kiss. Hermione and I are working with the Minister to-”

“-You’re working with that _mudblood_ after everything that happened?!” Lucius sneered.

Draco saw red, hands clenched as he resisted the urge to punch his father in his scornful face, “We’re working on this to save you from the Dementors Kiss!” he ground out, “And she’s got connections and resources that I couldn’t even dream of.”

“Oh, and that makes it all better? I raised you better than that Draco”

“For all the good that did Father. Or have you forgotten where you currently are? You’re here rotting in this prison because of your beliefs. Merlin forbid I try to avoid the mistakes you’ve made.”

“You’re already branded like me,” Lucius reminded him, and Draco instinctively moved his hand to cover the mark under his sleeve, “You’ve already made the same ’_mistakes’ _as you call them.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to _keep_ making them!” Draco cried out, exasperated at the shift in the conversation, “I can and will be better!”

Lucius scoffed, “And you’ll do that by lowering yourself to the bottom feeders? Associating with the mudbloods, blood traitors and the poor and unsavoury?”

Draco rolled his eyes, unable to stop himself, “I’m pretty sure your _stellar_ choices have dropped the family name far below any that you believe are ‘below’ us, Father.”

His father’s face began turning red, an uncharacteristic break in his well crafter pureblood mask. “You’re a disgrace to the Malfoy name.” he spat.

“So, you’d rather I just left you to the Dementors Kiss?” Draco was getting tired of dealing with his father. Was he always this tedious? He couldn’t be sure; he hadn’t spent extended time with his father in probably a decade and that was with his mother mediating.

“Of course not!” He answered scowling.

“Well then, maybe you should thank me and shut the hell up!” Draco blanched, as soon as the words escaped his mouth, he wanted to take it back. He had just disrespected his father to his face!

Lucius’ eyes hardened like steel, “_Excuse me?_” his voice was cold and deadly quiet and if it wasn’t for the magic suppressors and the chains holding him in the chair Draco would be fearing for his life.

Swallowing hard he tried to hold himself with confidence he didn’t feel. If this was his chance to get his father to listen to him once and for all, maybe he should take it. He had bowed and followed his father’s path for him his whole life and for once he had the upper hand. “You heard me.” He said trying to keep his voice steady and quickly moved his hands to his lap to hide the fact that they were shaking.

“After all I have done for you, you treat me like-”

“-And I’m thankful for that father. Really, I am. I never had to want for anything, and I appreciate the sacrifices you made for that. But you made some stupid choices and aligned yourself with a psychopath and now you’re paying the price for those choices.” Draco took a deep breath, “And despite the fact that you condemned me to that life as well by eagerly signing me up regardless of my own feelings on the matter, I am trying to _HELP_ you and all you can do is insult me and my friends for doing so. You either want my help and will shut up about who is helping me, _or_ you don’t and I walk out that door right now and never look back.”

Lucius sat mute, having the sense to look slightly abashed, but his eye was twitching giving away his annoyance at being spoken to like a petulant child.

“Well?” Draco asked, voice wavering slightly as his confidence waned and he braced himself for the verbal onslaught that he was bound to receive.

“_Thank you._” Lucius murmured; lips pursed as if he had swallowed a lemon. He had clearly forced with words out.

Draco nodded curtly. He heard a door slam shut, clearly Theo had obviously finished his visit. “I need to go. I’ll do what I can to help you.”

Lucius nodded wearily.

“For what it’s worth, you made your mistakes, but you were a good father most of the time.”

With that Draco rose from his seat and with a parting glance and small smile he swept from the room and went to join Theo to head back to Hogwarts. He just hoped that he could save his father, McGonagall was right, deep down he did care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost forgot to post when I said I would, I've been in the midst of a baking frenzy leading up to Christmas but I remembered in time.  
Do you think Lucius will be Saved or will Draco's labours be for nothing?
> 
> Thanks as always for reading see you next week (or Sunday for Shaping his future)!  
Lyrics are broken by Anson Seabra


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